Ping Pong Playa Page #4

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Christopher?

You got to be kidding.

Why not?

He has enough

free time now.

Ma, no way.

No way.

All he does is play video games

and read comic books all day.

No way.

Ma, this wasn't my fault.

Booyah!

Man, I'm telling you, man,

if I was just

one inch taller, man,

I'd be dunking

all the time, man.

Tomahawk, windmill, 360-degree

peanut butter and jam sandwich.

Uh!

Yeah, so we going to run

another game orwhat?

We can take these jabronis.

Can't.

I gotta go.

Where?

Birthday party.

I don't even want to go.

Well, then, don't go.

My sister's making me.

Man, and another thing, man.

Why you have to go all off

and tell your sister

about what we were doing, man?

I thought we was tight.

You said to tell her

about Ping-Pong class.

That means telling her

that you play Ping-Pong,

not that you

play Ping-Pong for money.

Just tell her that you made

all that up, all right?

I'm not as good

at lying as you are.

Hold up; Why you got to be

hurtful, man?

I'm not asking you

to lie, man.

I'm just asking you

to finesse the truth.

You got it?

Okay.

So where

this party at, man?

Geometrically speaking,

the probability of striking

all ten pins is highest

when the ball enters formation

at a 45-degree angle.

That didn't work.

Perhaps I should try

launching with more force.

Thud!

It's a shame,

isn't it?

What's that,

the nerds?

Matter of speaking, yes.

The birthday boy guy,

he's the biggest nerd

of them all.

Yes, my son,

the biggest nerd.

Oh, I didn't mean it

like that.

No, no, no,

it's quite all right.

It's a thing

with my son.

What good is it being able to

play Rachmaninoff at age six

if you don't have

an audience to play for, huh?

Hey, man, I don't mean

no disrespect,

but he ain't going to make no

friends warming a piano bench.

You know what I'm saying?

You have a point.

Oh, D.B. Reddy.

C- Dub.

I'm here

with my boy, Felix.

Oh.

Speak of the devil.

What's up?

Yo, yo, yo.

Yeah, F-Bomb, eh,

this is Prabakar's dad.

Hello, Felix.

Welcome.

Please,

make yourself comfortable.

There's some

pepperoni pizza.

Cool, thanks.

Amazing.

This boy,

he is your...

That's my basketball homey.

Oh, you're

his basketball teacher.

Uh, I actually

teach him Ping-Pong

at the Chinese school.

Ah, is that

your primary occupation?

No, no, no.

I'm actually getting ready

to start up a business

with a friend of mine,

you know?

We're going to press

some comic books,

start our own clothing line.

You know,

entrepreneurial-type stuff.

Fantastic.

Absolutely fantastic.

Yeah.

I was just like you

starting out,

less than $100 in my pocket

when I came from India.

And now I own

my own textile company.

That's tight, man.

That's like

kitchen tiles and stuff?

Oh, no, no, no.

Textiles as in fabric

for clothing and shoes.

Oh, oh, my bad.

No, it's quite all right,

my friend.

Well, I wish you luck

in your endeavors.

I think you have

what it takes.

Yo, for real?

You think

I could roll like you?

Listen, most people

underestimate

the social skills needed

to succeed in business.

Prabakar doesn't need

more math classes.

He needs to learn

to socialize,

to be a kid.

Yeah, so I ask you,

would you take on my son

as one of your disciples?

Disciple?

Yeah!

I like the sound of that.

Prepare for practice games,

y'all.

What do I do,

Coach Chris?

Call me C-Dub.

- L...

- Oh, you know what?

I got a better idea.

Call me sifu.

Yes, sifu.

I've done some studying

on the physics of table tennis.

Practice.

Don't talk.

See that over there?

That's for you.

Practice until you can hit it

back to yourself ten times...

That should be quite...

In a row.

I've been watching you.

I think you could be

a brilliant paddler.

Paddler?

It's Felix, right?

Yeah.

Your forehand smash

could use a bit of tinkering,

and your teacher's

been rather busy.

Anyway, I am opening a new

school in a couple of weeks,

all brand-new tables.

You should come down,

check it out.

Here, you know what?

Take a couple.

Put them in your pocket.

Give them to your parents.

Hey, hey, hey.

Don't be passing out no porno

to none of my kids, yo.

No worries, m'laddo.

Just offering a little friendly

advice to my buddy here.

Yeah, we ain't buying

your opium around here.

Sure thing,

Chrissie.

Booyah!

'Sup with

Prince Charles, man?

You got a question

you can't ask me?

I can't smash it

like you.

Let me see.

Free Willy,

balls.

All right.

Dog, you got no energy

in your swing, man.

Pull your arm

back like this.

Angle it down like that,

all right?

Now swing away,

all right?

Like that,

okay?

Free Willy,

come on, man.

You're going to get chocolate

all over the balls, man.

Ain't you tell me your dad

sent you here to lose weight?

Then why you keep bringing

candy to class, man?

I got a rep to uphold.

All right, just remember

what I showed you

and keep flapping

them back, okay?

All right,

here we go.

Remember that angle.

There you go.

Come on,

smack that sucker.

Tell that white boy

who's boss.

Ow.

Speaking of the competition,

are you entering

Miss Chinatown this year?

Because if you

don't mind me saying so,

you're certainly

beautiful enough to win.

C- Dub in the hizzouse.

Yo, J.P., money,

money, money, money, money.

What's up?

Speaking of which,

I was just telling my boy Felix,

we got a little cash money game

going on across the street.

Some of my boys

swinging by.

Come run with.

- Yeah.

- Oh, no, man.

I just finished class, man.

Hold up.

Now you too tired

from playing Ping-Pong?

Coaching, dog.

Responsibility's tiring.

Always one good excuse

after another from balling, man.

I haven't seen you

on a court since JV.

Aw, man, come on,

you know that ain't true, man.

You're too busy working

to see me in action anyway.

Come on, Orient Express.

I mean,

this is easy money.

It's just my boy Kev

and a bunch of old geezers.

Really?

Like how old-old?

Man, I don't know.

They're like grandpas

and.

My bad, homey.

All right, fine.

Let's roll.

This is a wake-up call

to all my hustlers on the block

trying to make some ball.

See, I told you, dog.

We got this.

J.P., what's up, boy?

What's up, homey?

This is my boy, C-Dub,

I was telling you about.

J.P. Tells me about

this last-second shot you hit

at district

back in the day.

Yeah, back in the day.

$30 to the winner, right?

Yo, $40.

You still owe me In-N-Out.

Oh, we gonna serve you

a Double-Double.

Just you wait.

Yo, let me hydrate first.

Then we run.

Whatever.

Hey, yo, man, I just want

to let you know, man,

I haven't played

in a couple weeks.

Felix said

you played last week.

Don't sweat it, playa.

You got this.

All I'm saying is, man,

can't expect my regular

20-10 game, that's all.

When we clean these fools out,

Cinnabon's on me.

Cinnabons, baby.

Yo, I wish I was

a little bit taller.

I wish I was a baller.

I wish I had a girl

who looked good.

I would call her.

Wish I was a baller.

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