Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow Page #3

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and I have just the men for you.

These guys are cops?

You get the feeling that

we're not wanted here?

I'll tell you what we need to do.

- We need to let Konali know we're here.

- On his turf.

- Hit him where it hurts.

I like that.

- Get in his face.

- Kick some butt.

Better get Katrina.

Hey, bud. Nice work.

It would be a shame

to see this all go up in smoke.

- How do you mean?

- Accidents happen.

Fire breaks out,

beam gives way, workers...

Get out.

Tell Konali I won't pay

his extortion money.

Hey, buddy. Commandant Lassard

sends his regards.

I can't tell you how it makes me feel...

...to be received so very, very

generously into your family.

Oh.

I'll take matters into my own hands.

What is he doing?

- Sir, would you like to have lunch?

- Meet me in the bedroom.

In the bathroom.

- Sir?

Meet me there!

Meet you there! Meet you there!

This sewer stinks.

So Americans leave

without saying goodbye.

Russians say goodbye

without leaving.

Oh, allow me.

Ooh!

This went rancid.

I promise you this:

After today, Konali's gonna know

this cop's in town.

This is a typical Russian bathhouse.

Okay. So this is Konali's sauna.

It's just a front. People come here

to fence stolen jewels.

All right. Let's get naked.

Come on. Come on.

Hello, ladies.

Hi.

Nice place you got here.

Freeze!

You may resume...

...whatever it is you were doing.

Okay, okay. I should be

right under Konali's restaurant.

- Did you like the necklace?

Oh, yes, my pushki.

- How much?

- In fact, it is all that I am wearing.

I decided that from now on...

...I will only wear diamonds,

diamonds and diamonds.

- Yes.

- Really?

KONALl:
I'm going to see you later, right?

Oh, I hope so.

KONALl:

I'm going to bring you big surprise.

- What?

- How about Big Skippy?

- I love Big Skippy.

- And Little Skippy.

No, not the little one.

- He bothers me.

- All right. I call you later.

Hey, move it. Down in front.

Mr. Konali, we've got bad news.

It's American police.

They're messing

with our operation again.

No more. You hear me?

As of this moment I am putting

a contract out on Lassard and his team!

We squash them!

My fish, Swimmy Lassard.

He eats at this time every day.

This will be fun, Vlady.

Hey, you little punk, get lost!

Hey, spread out!

- You okay?

- Yeah.

Listen, just because they're good on bikes

doesn't make them nice guys.

Man, look at you. Come on.

This one's for you, kid.

Now, check this.

There. Don't miss.

Vlady, get up.

I hate dogs. I'm gonna shoot every dog

I ever see.

What have we got here?

A match with a red line through...

I've been here for 30 minutes.

Shouldn't we see if Konali's inside?

The Russian work ethic.

You know, Katrina,

you take this job too seriously.

You have to learn to loosen up.

I want to loosen up.

Had vacation planned. Go to beach.

Now I sit on bench here with you.

You sure you speak with Talinsky?

- Da, Talinsky.

- I not understand.

I should not be here.

Well, you know, Katrina, sometimes

you have to expect the unexpected.

- I know your type.

- My type?

You just like to hunt fox.

You like the chase.

Katrina, go out with me tonight.

Just one date.

Give me a chance.

I go out with you tonight.

Excellent.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I would like to introduce to you...

...the world-famous

circus family, Zemskova.

It's the Zemskov family. They're great.

They've been doing this act

for over 100 years.

They look amazingly spry for their age.

The Zemskov family

passed the act down...

...from grandfather to father

to son and daughter.

It's tradition. Keep secrets in family.

Ooh.

Maybe that's one they should

keep a secret.

One more of those, it could be

the end of the Zemskov family.

And now Ivan Zemskovi

will perform the impossible!

The triple Salto Mortale.

Ivan Zemskovi!

I know.

- Know what?

- You lie.

You tell me you get me

off case as translator.

- I'm sorry?

- Instead you tell Talinsky...

...I'm great translator.

Translation:

No vacation for me.

So...

...tonight I get even. Da?

Let's hear it for the great

artist family, Zemskov.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Igor and Andrusha.

Excuse me. I have to go

to the little clowns' room.

Get him.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, I'd like to, but I...

No, no.

I'll come back in five minutes.

I will. I promise you.

What is that? Is this gonna hurt?

It's not even lubricated.

Ah! Whoa!

Don't you clowns

know when to stop?

Let's do it. Don't be afraid.

Close your eyes.

Everybody, quiet!

Huh? All right, listen here, Bozo...

Don't forget, you're the one

that called us for help, buster.

Well, excuse me, buster,

but I didn't place the call.

Great, great subway. Terrific.

I mean, New York is a shithouse,

but this is great.

Well, have you been able

to capture Konali?

We were this close.

Listen to me and use my equipment,

you can capture him in two days.

Na, na, na, na, na, na.

Na, na, na, na, na, na?

Nah.

Nah.

- What about this Russian food?

- You want borscht? We stop.

I don't want any borscht.

So now we're even. Da?

Katrina, no. I had a wonderful time.

All right. I had an awful time

and I almost hurled...

...but at least I got to spend

some time with you.

I had good time too.

I'm sorry for what I did.

I just...

I just wanted to keep you around.

It's okay.

What are you thinking about?

What's Russian for "kiss me"?

I whisper it.

It doesn't seem to lose anything

in the translation.

You know, Konali...

...he's done many bad things.

But he brought you here.

Where does Konali hang out at night?

- The casino.

- Suddenly I feel the need to gamble.

No more bets, please. No more bets.

Mr. Konali, always a pleasure

to see you, sir.

Jacquot, would you show Mr. Konali

to his table?

That's him.

Place your bets.

- Have a nice evening, sir.

- What if he finds out you're cop?

Oh, he will, when I arrest him.

Bartender, margarita, please.

- There you go, Monsieur Bond.

- How about a Perrier in a bottle?

Whoa.

Not bad, huh, Mr. Konali?

Never before have I seen

such an apparition.

Let's get up.

Right.

Such a vision of womanhood.

- Oh, yeah.

- Mr. Konali, meet Debbie.

Debbie. The name sings to me.

Debbie

- Yeah!

- Ah.

I'd say she's in. Be right back.

- Could I get an autograph?

- Hey, the boss is busy.

- Sorry. This'll only take a second.

- I said, the boss is busy.

- Oh, God.

- I tell you what. Why don't we...

Why don't we flip for it?

If I win...

...I get the autograph.

If you win, I go away.

Ready? Call it.

If you could just

make it out to Freddie.

Hey, kid.

- You got a job?

- No. I'm just here for the herring.

You should come work for me.

Kid like you can go far.

Do you offer a dental plan?

I love this kid!

Well, well, well.

You can all go and play

your little undercover games...

...and when the time is right,

I will arrest Konali.

KONALl:
I want to show you picture

of my baby.

Uh-huh.

KONALl:

This is the day I brought her home.

Hmm.

KONALl:
Here she is at 10,000 miles.

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