Pornopung Page #4

Synopsis: Christian leaves his hometown for Oslo to finish his studies, but moves in with two guys who turn out to be big-time pick up artists. Despite endless objections, Karl and Leo decide to give Christian a complete makeover, teaching him the tricks of their trade and changing him into the kind of guy girls want to sleep with. Crack, back and sack all need a shave, and everything he's been taught so far in life needs to be flushed out and reset. It's time for the razor-sharp truth about life.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Johan Kaos
Production: Feil Film
  2 wins.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Year:
2013
96 min
156 Views


I just have to say bye to Maja.

Thanks for tonight.

It was awesome.

I think it's best for everyone

if I go home with you.

Hello!

How are things here?

Did I wake you up?

Were you at a party last night?

All right, bye.

See you on Sunday.

There you go.

What's your name?

Mads, was it?

Mads is a super name.

How old are you?

One?

- Answer Christian.

- Two?

You don't have to answer.

Hello!

You just spilled some.

My first draft is due

in early December.

Yeah.

No, that didn't work out.

She ended up in bed with Karl.

No, it wasn't like that. They didn't

even know who the other one was.

No, mom.

It isn't...

He doesn't even know her name.

Stop.

It's no big deal.

Anyway, I have met someone else.

Yeah.

Her name is Elisa.

So that's...

Yes, she's very cool.

A very cool girl.

Hey, Karl, come here.

- That looks great.

- What?

You coming out with us tonight?

Elisa and I are meeting Maja.

You've been hanging out for weeks.

Are you an item?

- I don't know.

- What's that mean?

It means we enjoy

each other's company.

Does it have to be more complicated?

- Are you her boyfriend now?

- No.

- You're just getting the hang of this.

- You need at least one more.

Why get continually rejected,

when I can have fun with Elisa?

OK, I have a plan.

Bring Elisa, -

- and score a threesome.

She'll be game.

I don't think she's into that.

And she has her kid this weekend.

- Elisa has a kid?

- How old?

Two, maybe?

Whew!

What?

Hm?

Have you...

When?

Christ, it was like four years ago.

- It was at this crazy after-party.

- You too?

We were wasted, or stoned.

It was no big deal.

It was just for kicks.

So you and Leo f***ed Elisa

at the same time?

- Was anyone else involved?

- No, just us.

- But, sh*t, she's smoking hot!

- It was just some drunken fun.

She would probably have told you

if she wanted you to know.

"By the way, your buddies

double-penetrated my ass."

"But I'm done with that now.

Let's do it the normal way."

Come on, Christian!

Let's go find the lesbian national

yoga team and have an eightsome.

How many have you had sex with?

What kind of a question is that?

I'm just curious.

OK.

34, I think.

Or 33.

Something like that.

Have you ever been in a threesome?

Why are you asking me that?

Over there, isn't that

that girl you made out with?

Maybe she could join us?

Christ! I thought you were serious

for a second.

What do you mean?

What, are you serious?

- OK.

- OK?

- So you're up for it?

- Yeah, sure.

I don't know.

Or...

No.

Why not?

Because...

Because I don't want to.

How about a foursome?

We can bring in Karl and Leo

and all f*** together.

Listen...

That happened ages ago, Christian.

- Why are you being like this?

- Like what?

- Like a guy who's into threesomes?

- I don't want to.

Why don't you ask

how many I have slept with?

- You know there aren't many.

- I don't care!

- Why didn't you say something?

- I didn't see it as a problem.

This is so typical!

Karl and Leo can f*** around because

they're men, but I'm a woman...

I'm not talking about what you

have done. I'm talking about us.

You're trying to force me

into a f*** orgy!

Fine, since you're beyond all that,

let's move in together.

And I can be Mads' substitute dad,

since he's so crazy about me!

Don't call me.

Out you go.

You and Kevin Danielsen were arrested.

Kevin who?

I don't know a Kevin Danielsen.

You called him -

- The Punisher last night.

Do you know him, or not?

I do.

You have been charged with violating

Penal Code section 192-A:

"Sexual intercourse accomplished

by violence or menace."

"Punishable by

up to 10 years in prison."

I suggest you get yourself a lawyer.

You will be released...

- Karl!

- I told you so!

Up you go!

You doubted your cock.

But you've just f***ed with that cock,

haven't you?

Five chicks, and it isn't even

Christmas yet. Damn I'm good!

You've become

a goddam f***ing machine!

I have to go get laid.

Christian?

Yes.

- Sandwich?

- Excuse me?

- Would you like a sandwich?

- No, thanks.

I've looked at what you gave me.

- This shouldn't be a problem.

- OK. What does that mean?

That means

they don't have enough evidence.

So you'll probably get off scot-free.

What if they do have enough evidence?

Then you risk some years

in the slammer.

Or a fine.

Depending on what they find.

Sure you don't want a sandwich?

Aren't you going to eat?

No, I'm not that hungry.

- Are you sick?

- No, I'm not sick.

You look sick.

It's called a hangover.

That's a grown-up sickness.

How's it going with the ladies?

Fine, I guess.

Do you have a girlfriend?

- No.

- Why not?

Leave Christian alone now.

Hey, how are you really doing?

I'm fine.

Just have a lot on my mind.

- I'm very proud of you.

- Stop it.

I mean it.

You've always been such a sweet boy.

No matter what you do,

I will always be proud of you.

But listen, if something has happened,

you have to be honest.

Then everything will work out.

- Duly noted.

- OK?

Good night.

Sleep tight.

Hey!

Hi, it's you.

I thought...

Never mind.

I've been thinking.

- About what?

- My case.

Sh*t, I forgot to tell you!

I got a call a few days ago.

All the charges have been dropped.

She wasn't up for a full trial.

I told you so.

- But I want...

- It's very common.

I want to confess.

- Why?

- Because I can't live with this.

Listen, she said she doesn't want

any more attention.

The police have to drop a rape case

if there's no victim. Case closed.

Don't force her to do something

she doesn't want to do. Again.

OK?

Put it behind you, Christian.

Happy New Year.

Christian?

Can't you come out?

We miss you.

Hi!

What's this?

This is... a prioritized list of girls'

names in case I get a daughter.

- Are you going to be a dad?

- I don't know. Maybe.

You don't have Tone there.

Mind if I add my name?

Hi.

How are you doing?

I...

Super.

Has Karl told you

how he lost his virginity?

Up by Lake Sognsvann,

with a girlfriend of mine.

Sounds amazing...

He didn't notice

that his nose started bleeding.

Her face ended up covered in blood.

Number one:
Nosebleed Ellen.

Yeah.

- It isn't easy.

- You don't know the half of it.

Here.

- Is this Karl?

- Yes.

So he clearly knows

what it feels like to be rejected.

Listen,

I know Karl can be a total pain.

Personally, I've never been a fan

of his womanizing.

All those girls.

But I let it slide because

it has had a positive effect on him.

That's because

you're in love with him, Maja.

Anyway...

I know those guys can be

intense and irritating.

But staring at the ceiling and

not talking to anyone, is also bad.

If not for them, do it for me.

I need someone to talk to out there

with an IQ over 70.

- Maja?

- Hm?

I have...

Don't worry about it, Christian.

Ladies and gentlemen, friends,

and you there...

I don't know you, but I like you.

It's awesome that so many of you are

still around after all our f***-ups.

But there is one person who has

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