Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Page #3

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There he is!

Who is it?

This is hurting...

He is perusing his future property.

This estate must by law go to a male heir.

Now that odious man, Mr. Collins,

may the moment I am dead.

Toss you out of this house, at his pleasure.

Tell me to which of my fair

cousins do I owe the compliments?

Of the excellent, and I repeat, excellent cooking?

My daughters are trained

for battle, sir. Not the kitchen.

Quite, Mr. Bennet.

My patroness is not only

the King's richestsubject

deadliest singularly dedicated

to the annihilation of theundead.

I assume you have all heard

...of Lady Catherine deBourgh.

She's the most deadly swor

dswoman in all of GreatBritain.

With the agility of a black panther.

My humble abode but so Lady has stayed.

Rosings Park.

- Was she ever married?

- Widowed sadly.

She has one daughter Anne who is

unfortunately the sickly constitution.

- Had Anne been presented?

- Oh no, no Mrs. Bennet.

Her ill health prevents it.

I told Lady Catherine that the court

has been deprived of its brightest ornament.

I have a talent you see, for delivering these

very delicate compliments with an unstudied air.

It would seem sir, that all you lack now...

is a wife.

I must confess Mrs. Bennet.

The fairest wifely choices be in this room.

I declare that I am...

enchanted by your daughter, Jane.

And request to speak to her alone. If I may?

Oh, dear Parson.

I'm afraid Jane is already spoken for, we

expect a serious proposal imminently.

Oh...fuddle.

But Liz is quite available.

And almost as fair as Jane.

Is there absolutely no negotiation over Jane?

The early bird catches the worm, Mr. Collins.

Oh, indeed.

Be mindful of your talent in the delicate compliments, sir.

Oh, no! Yea...why yes!

She is...almost-

As fair as the other one.

Splendid.

Thank you ladies. Settle down.

Now I thought I this morning I might

read to you from Fordyce's sermons,

To Young Women.

What a treat, what a treat!

"Chapter One:
The Home"

We're walking to Meryton to visit Aunt Phillips.

So long as Jane and Lizzy are willing to accompany you.

- We most certainly are.

- And Mr. Collins!

- Course?

- Oh, well I shall be delighted-

Only if Mr. Bennet will consent to release me from my reading.

- With a heavy heart, sir.

- Mr. Bennet I am susceptible to flattery and you sir...

are very charming. Come along ladies!

Miss Elizabeth how charming you look today.

Let us look in the shop windows of Meryton

we can buy some new pots and pans?

Take the place of your swords and daggers?

Oh...is there some sort of trouble?

Oh, it appears there is.

Help!

- Penny McGregor's carriage.

- Help!

- Someone's trapped inside.

- Jane.

Please help me! Anyone! Hey! Help!

That was a horrible accident.

But I survived!

Survived, Jane!

Not in the traditional sense of the word.

Appears Ms. McGregor won't be delivering anymore lamp oil.

I must confess.

I was unaware that zombies possessed

the required acuity to set such...

...traps.

Before we know it, they'll be running for parliament.

Come along.

Fantastic, we must try and make

elevenses actually. Come along, Elizabeth!

We mustn't dawdle we can't be late.

Ms. Bennet.

- Thank you, Mr. Collins.

- Allow me.

Galantry isn't dead. Come, come now we mustn't be late.

This must be the extra military stationed here in Meryton.

Leftenant Danny!

Who is that with him?

Ms. Lydia Bennet and Ms. Katherine Bennet,

Leftnenant Wickham.

He's just been assigned to our Meryton

regiment to deal with the zombie resurgence.

I bet your fearful handsome in your regimens.

Kitty! Lydia!

Ms. Jane and Elizabeth Bennet,

- May I introduce-.

- George Wickham.

He's a Leftenant.

This is our cousin Mr. Collins.

Parson Collins.

Aren't we overdo at the Phillips?

Walk us?

I fear I have a prior engagement.

Mr. Wickham?

Yes, enchanted!

She is baking, so we mustn't be late.

I said she is baking.

I was very keen to be on time.

But it is apparent that Aunt Phillips

muffins are splendid you see.

Is that so?

You know I and Lady

Catherine abhor tardiness

and actually it has instilled me

with a real sense of order.

Thank you for accompanying us.

And enduring my younger sisters.

It's my pleasure.

Are you going to be stationed

here all winter, Mr. Wickham?

Well that depends entirely what the

enemies have in store for us, Ms. Bennet.

Mr. Bingley!

We were just on our way

to Longbourn!

Mr. Bingley you promised you'd throw

a ball at Netherfield.

- You're quite recovered.

- She is.

Then I shall begin preparations

immediately the most

glorious ball Hertfordshire has seen.

Can Leftenant Wickham come?

Of course.

An invitation shall sent to all

my fellow officers.

Excuse me.

Good day, Jane.

There you are my beautiful nieces!

Please join us Mr. Wickham.

No, duty calls I'm afraid.

I must know Mr. Wickham.

What is amiss between you and Mr. Darcy?

Are you much acquainted with him?

More than I wish to be.

He's been here for less than a month

and already the least popular man in the county.

Yes it always gives me

great pain to see him.

I've been connected to his family

since infancy.

My father managed the late Mr. Darcy's estate

Darcy and I grew up together.

His father treated me like a second son.

I cannot begin to do justice to his kindness.

He bequeathed me with the best living and his gift.

I had my heart set on joining the church.

But when he was slain in the 2nd battle of Kent,

Darcy ignored his wishes and

gave my living to another man.

What could've induced him to pay

you so cruelly?

Pride.

He thought me too low to be

worth his consideration.

I loved his father dearly so I can

never expose Darcy or challenge him to a duel.

Come now, Lizzy.

We must plan our trip to the North Gantry.

I'll be right there.

Well perhaps I shall see

you at Mr. Bingley's Ball.

Perhaps.

I'll be there.

Mr. Wickham.

- You came.

- As I said I would.

I oughta think that Mr. Darcy's

presence would keep you away.

If Mr. Darcy wishes to avoid me

he must go, not I.

I have found you Ms. Bennet.

Sorry, and you are?

- Wickham.

- Oh, Tuan Wickham. Aku ingat.

Oh! Mr. Wickham I never...

...forget a face, especially one as angelic as Ms. Bennet's

I do hope you haven't forgotten our dance?

Of course not, Parson Collins.

Oh, allow me.

Thank you, Mr. Wickham.

Lady Catherine herself has praised

me on my lightness of foot.

Wonders to how you found the time

to hone such delicacy in your step.

Flattery will get you everywhere, Ms. Bennet.

Yeah.

The dance seems to be getting away with us.

I think it only right and proper that every clergymen

should set the example for matrimony in the parish.

This is my favorite moment in the dance!

The non partisan full swing!

Such splendor in the air!

Mr. Collins please keep your voice down.

Splendid, splendid work everyone!

Thank you for your attention.

Everyone did valiantly.

Ms. Bennet it is my intention to remain very

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