Primos Page #7

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-I went too far, I'm sorry.

-What?

I went too far. I do stupid things

sometimes. I'm not perfect.

Sardine, just go.

I taIked to your dad.

He's In bad shape.

Come with us to the wharf Iater

for the cucaa.

Remember when we were kIds?

You used to Iaugh when I'd faII.

l'II pass.

You're a coupIe of drunks.

And just so you know,

I wouIdn't have f***ed you

for a millIon euros.

Of course not.

Because you only have sex

when you're in Iove, Iike me.

Get Iost, you jerk!

You'II be there,

you know you wiII.

Because you dig the cucaa.

And you dig me too.

I'm your RIchard Gere.

Goddamn Iunatic!

''Symptoms that do not match

cIassic disease symptoms

or are inconsIstent.''

Interesting.

''MuItipIe prIor hospital stays.''

LIttIe creep.

Trying to scare me, huh?

Look. Steady as a rock.

''The parent is excessiveIy attentIve

and serviIe

in a hospitaI setting

and frequentIy works in a fieId reIated

to medicine, Iike nursing.''

It's caIIed Munchausen's Syndrome,

by proxy.

''By proxy.'' What a snob.

''A psychiatric disorder

in whIch the aduIt provokes

or simuIates symptoms in a chiId

in their care,

frequentIy their own chIldren.

The mother intentionaIIy

makes the chiId sick so the chiId

wiIl need her.''

Damn.

PeopIe are screwed up.

The fIrst time I read it,

I didn't Iet my mom near me for a week.

And I wouIdn't eat anything

unIess I saw it prepared,

just in case.

You're reaIIy something.

Bad choice of disease.

You're right,

it's more for young women...

Sweetie!

Come on, I set up mattresses in the

garden for our breathing exercises!

I'm breathing just fIne, Iook.

Sweetie, come on.

Coming.

I'd better go.

We'II keep pIaying Iater.

I'm winning 1-0.

Champions...

-How Iong does it say to wait?

-Three minutes.

Pretty fast, huh?

Find out if your Iife wiII change

in 3 minutes.

These things shouId take

at least 3 days

so you can get your head around it.

Can you make the sound for me?

-Did you sIeep with her?

-What?

-Diego...

-No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Yes.

I did sIeep with her. But you have

no right to be mad or jeaIous.

Don't cry, you know seeing you cry

makes me cry as weII.

-Are you in Iove with her?

-No.

There wasn't time.

It's impossibIe.

But you onIy sleep with someone

if you're in Iove.

That's true, but what can I do?

You dumped me, I'm down and out...

Every morning I wake up

and I want to get back together.

What?

I'm a b*tch. I have no right.

I'm driving you crazy. I'm sorry.

I've aIways Iiked

you driving me crazy.

Then what shouId we do?

Hope you're pregnant.

And make that our biggest priority.

Nothing.

Negative.

Stress has aIways

affected your hormones.

I had my hopes up.

What about the oral surgeon?

The oraI surgeon is the oraI surgeon.

Just an escape.

And now that you've escaped?

He's gone. For good.

What about Martina?

Is she just an escape

or something more?

What if I said Iet's forget everything

and pIck up where we left off?

I know you won't forget

the paIn l caused you.

No, I won't.

Not the water! Not the water!

A dog! A dog!

You're in rare form here.

I thought you were missing me.

You Iooked so Ioose out there,

with your cousins...

Diving in without earpIugs...

I don't know.

You stiII haven't expIained

why you didn't caII me.

I don't get it.

I don't know what came over you.

-My cousins wouIdn't Iet me.

-Your cousins?

Those are cousins?

Those aren't cousins.

Just because they're famiIy doesn't mean

they want what's best for you.

Don't be angry.

I'm angry because you're not angry.

You're the one who shouId be angry.

Getting angry wIII make me sick.

Sure, you'II get sIck.

You're right, I'm sorry.

Sorry isn't good enough.

How wiII you ever

stand up for anything

if you can't stand up for me

to your cousins?

Jeepers, MigueI.

They're reaIIy hurting us.

No more hurting.

SweetIe...

Your puIse is racing.

Did you have a bad thought?

My baby had a bad thought!

What was it?

It must be broken.

Honey, it's off the charts...

I'II give you somethIng...

That's what you get

for doIng the cucaa.

Acting aII brave

in front of your cousins...

You never Iisten to me.

It stopped.

You broke it.

Sweetie, you broke it.

That's vIoIence!

Listen, Clarita.

Just reIax. From now on,

I'm gonna take care of your dad.

I'II see to It

he's weII-Iooked after.

You're gonna buy him a wInery?

Are you trying to make this

harder on me?

Go right ahead.

I'm so pumped up today I couId seII

a fIeet of freight eIevators.

Getting your cIients Iaid.

Everybody gains.

That reminds me, I'm Iate.

I have to be going.

It's your day off.

At least I take a day off.

You're drunk 24-7.

We agreed on a cease fire.

Put that away, you're not even

the one who reached it.

You see how aIike you are?

Two hydrauIic sIedgehammers.

You both Iove smashing things.

I'II continue, if you don't mind.

I've given this situation

a Iot of thought.

So far, I've managed to get you two

face to face for a cup of coffee...

straight...

And I think I have the answer

to your probIem.

lt's me.

l'm wiIIing to be the Iink

between you.

I'm wiIIing to make that sacrifice.

Like a middIe to Iong term

intermediary.

A middIe to long term Intermediary?

What's that supposed to mean?

Are you proposIng?

First he'II have to dIvorce

Helena with an H.

HeIena with an H?

Great, Sardine. Great.

You Iied to me.

He said the ring was a prop.

I'm glad nothing happened

because I wouId have feIt awfuI.

Nothing happened?

No, It was more Iike

''An OffIcer and a GentIeman.''

Richard Gere, Debra Winger.

Directed by TayIor Hackford. 1982.

I think ''Rain Man''

had more of an effect on him.

Tom Cruise, DustIn Hoffman,

directed by Barry Levinson in...

-'88.

-'87.

-'88.

-I remember perfectIy.

That's enough!

If you two want to gang up on me,

that's fine with me.

It's cIearIy a step forward.

But you know what?

I can seII anything.

Anything.

I want you two to reconciIe

and I snap my fingers.

It's a matter of time

and strategy.

But who buys me?

Can you teII me that?

l have a great job.

Good saIary, bonuses,

pats on the back, company car,

VIP box seats

at the game, it's aII great.

But I get home at night

and I sit on the couch

with the TV off

in my pyjamas Iike an idiot...

and I see my refIection and think,

''What's the point?''

What's the point?

So you can go back

to your IittIe probIems now.

Sorry, you're right.

It was in '87.

No, it was in '88.

I was onIy trying to piss you off.

But if you say '87, it's '87.

No, a fact is a fact.

It was '88, period.

That's what I said, '88.

Correct.

You know what you did wrong?

You set the bar too high, Dad.

And I've been searching for

the same thing ever sInce.

And I think l've even fabricated it.

I forced myseIf to feeI

the way you did.

And it's a IIe.

lt's a Iie.

I don't know if I've ever

reaIIy Ioved a woman.

I ask myself that question

and I have no idea.

I'm so IoneIy, Dad.

I don't IIke being aIone.

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