Prozac Nation Page #5

my medical bills.

Even though it won't cost you

anything.

All you have to do is sign the papers.

It's 10 percent.

- It's, like, nothing.

- No.

I lost my apartment, everything,

when we got divorced.

- It won't cost you anything.

- Sorry, Lizzie.

That's your mother's responsibility.

What do you want me to do?

You want me to slit my wrists...

...so that I'll qualify as a trauma case

for...?

This is killing me too.

This is killing me.

I mean, I feel so powerless.

I look back at all the mistakes

that I made.

I made a lot of mistakes,

and there's nothing I can do.

What am I gonna do?

Hey, you.

Hi.

Guess who?

What are you doing?

Nothing. Just walking.

Walking with somebody.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I could be walking with a girl.

Okay, fine, you're right. It's a boy.

He's tall.

Very tall.

Of course he's taller than me.

How tall are you?

Tall enough.

I'd say 6 feet.

Long lashes, brown eyes.

He's kind of got that sexy,

intellectual, preppy thing going on.

What?

Oh, cool. Yeah, I will.

I'll ask him as soon as I hang up.

All right. Okay.

Bye. Bye.

Well, who now thinks of me

as a sexy intellectual?

My mom.

She wants us to visit

over the holidays.

She just moved.

I'm going anyway.

Every time I'm with him, I see myself

doing these horrible things.

And I hate myself for it,

but I just can't stop.

Okay, let's say that you could.

What would you do differently?

So when I saw you with her, I just...

I don't know.

I know it's crazy, but...

I can't help it.

I just have these feelings.

I'm sorry. I didn't...

I didn't realize.

Hey, it's gonna happen.

Beautiful women just

throw themselves at me.

- It's Earl Grey!

- Sh*t, sorry.

- I'll get you another.

- Forget it.

- It's no problem.

- I don't want it.

Could we get another Earl Grey here?

- I said, I don't want it.

- Would you relax, Lizzie?!

- It's just a goddamn cup of tea.

- Don't yell at me.

Just don't be ridiculous, okay?

You f***ed her, didn't you?

- What? Are you crazy?

- Don't yell at me!

I really don't know

what the problem is.

Why don't you just keep f***ing her

if that's what you want.

- Just go away.

- Lizzie.

Hey. Lizzie, Lizzie.

Lizzie. Come on.

I'm sorry, okay?

I'm so... I'm sorry.

I didn't understand...

...how upset you are.

It's not your fault, all right?

It's my... It's my fault.

You're gonna leave me, aren't you?

No, I could never...

I love you.

Why?

There's nothing you feel...

...that you don't feel right down

to the bottom of yourself.

You're incredible.

I understand now how people

sometimes want to kill their lovers.

Eat their lovers.

Inhale the ashes of their dead lovers.

It' the only way to posses

another person.

My mom's gonna love you.

- You want juice?

- Sure.

Lizzie, listen.

I'm not gonna be able to make it

back with you for the holidays.

There's something that came up

with my mom...

...and I need to...

I need to go home.

But it's the holidays.

- I need you to be with me.

- And I wish I could be.

I just... I can't be in two places

at once.

Okay. I'll come with you.

I'll help you with your mom.

It's the right thing to do.

My mom will understand.

Your mom just moved apartments,

Lizzie.

But I wanna be with you.

But right now your mom needs you.

It's just... It's a really

complicated situation.

Lizzie, my mom...

...she isn't real easy with strangers.

Okay?

I am right in the middle of some sh*t

that is not making me happy, Lizzie.

I know, I know.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I just... I love you, and I wanna help.

You are. Lizzie, you are helping me.

Just...

Just knowing that I'm gonna see you.

We'll have all next term together,

okay?

- Okay?

- Okay.

So he asked me to help him.

You know, to be strong for him.

And I said, "Okay. "

But I really did.

I did the whole thing.

I kissed him goodbye.

I made it so easy for him.

And it actually made it

easier for me.

- And we're both really happy.

- Well, that's great.

Wow.

Did you get everything

moved in okay?

Sure. I mean, it's not too much.

You know, it's a south-facing

apartment. I get light all day long.

And it's so much easier to clean.

I think you'll like your room.

Oh, yeah.

So I'll just, you know,

put my things away.

- Haven't made you any dinner, honey.

- Well, that's okay.

I'll pay her back one day.

I swear I will.

- You said that your friend was...

- He had a family emergency.

- But he was going to come.

- Yes.

He just... He had to go back

to Texas because...

I don't know.

His name's Rafe.

That's a nice name.

You'd really like him.

He's good-looking and kind.

And he's Jewish.

And, you know, he works

really, really hard.

- Well, maybe next time.

- Yeah.

He wanted to meet you.

He has a very close relationship

with his mother.

That's nice.

I gotta make a call.

Lizzie, don't.

It's, like, the 10th time today.

So?

So you'll drive him crazy,

piss him off.

You don't know

what you're talking about.

F*** you for saying that.

Hello, Mrs. Stevenson?

Hi, this is Lizzie.

Lizzie. I'm a friend of Rafe's.

Is he there? Oh, he's busy.

Well, could you tell him it's urgent?

Okay. Bye.

Why won't he pick up the phone?

I would never do this to him.

So how is he?

I don't know. He was out.

I wonder if he lays awake at night

missing me...

...the way I miss him.

You ever love anybody, Ruby?

I mean, really love somebody.

You kidding? Sure.

You think you have.

You have no idea.

I suppose that you do.

Real love is total.

It's like life or death.

You know you'll die

when you're apart...

...because the need is so pure.

So complete.

All you know is sex.

Christ, you gave me a hard time

about Sam.

You never loved Sam.

How could you?

Oh, was I mean?

You can't take it,

the happening chick that you are?

Lizzie, I'm not crying

because you're mean.

I just can't imagine how incredibly

painful it must be to be you.

Listen, I'm at the airport.

No. No, I mean, I'm here...

...at the Austin Airport.

Oh, my God.

I've become the ultimate

nightmare girlfriend.

Maybe you should call your mom.

Let her know you're okay.

I can't.

Lizzie.

Look, you remember I told you...

...you coming here wasn't

such a good idea?

If you loved me enough.

All right, look.

There's something that

I haven't told you about.

- Oh, Christ, don't look at me like that.

- Just tell me.

- It's not what you think.

- Bastard.

- Cheap bastard.

- It's my sister.

It's my sister, all right!

So you're from New York originally?

Manhattan. I grew up

on the Upper West Side.

Rafe showed me

copies of your articles.

That's quite an achievement

for a first year.

Ellen. Ellen.

Hey, stop. Come on, please.

Hey, let's eat, okay. Come on.

You promised me you'd go to bed,

okay?

Good, come on. That's it.

Come on. Hey, come on.

Come on. Stop.

Ellen, you go to bed, and we'll go

to the park tomorrow, okay?

Come on. Come on, please?

Just, please.

Hey, you wanna go

to the park tomorrow?

Might have to take her to the doctor.

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