Putney Swope Page #3

Who did that?

You do that?

Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't do it.

Then what are you doing,

taking her temperature?

Boss, don't fire me. I got a wife,

three kids and a shuttling pony.

You should've thought of that before

you dipped your pen in company ink.

Oh, man, give me a break.

I'm in love.

All right, you get one more chance.

But she's got to go.

What do you mean, I gotta go?

That's right. Just 'cause you got a pair

of jugs don't mean you rule the world.

That's right.

- Mr. Swope.

- Clean out your locker.

Up yours.

Didn't mean to put down

your jugs, baby, but...

gotta protect my interest.

- Mark Focus is waiting in reception.

- Thank you.

Great window cleaner.

Don't drip and it don't streak.

But it smells bad.

Cleans good, but it smells bad.

As a window cleaner, forget it.

Put soybeans in it for protein...

and we'll push it as a soft drink

in the ghetto.

Lay a picture

of a Rhythm and Blues singer on it...

and we'll call it Victrola Cola.

- I think we got a winner.

- We better.

Or you and that jism are gonna be back

in that drugstore where I found you.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

If your lip was hip,

you wouldn't need no jip.

- Sell rolls, that is.

- How you sound?

I don't know, baby,

but wherever I'm sounding from...

I'm stacked up

and I'm gonna stay stacked up.

But I wanna know about this Putney dude.

And the f*ggot at the Traffic Department.

There's a blonde f*ggot

in the Traffic Department.

Next time he bends over

to pick up the paperclips, General...

I'm gonna sock it to him

right in his keister.

Does he like dudes?

I don't know, man,

but he's got a boss little round ass...

in them tight bell-bottom pants.

I know that.

Well, if you're tripping,

and you're going that way...

No, my johnson get hard, Jim.

It knows no discrimination.

Yeah, discrimination, huh?

No, my johnson get hard,

everything goes.

- Jism is okay, but you can can the trollops.

- Mr. Swope.

Mark Focus.

I did that for Hertz.

That's Colgate. That's a Nabisco.

- That's lBM.

- I've seen enough, Mark.

You're one of the best photographers

in the business.

Thank you.

This printout I'm working on

is perfect for you.

If it's me, it's $9,000.

$9,000? I just want a picture of

a light bulb with lipstick on it.

Make it $6,000.

Hey, man, it's going in the newspaper,

not an art gallery.

- $1,200 is the best I can do.

- Forget it.

$350.

I'll do it for nothing.

I need the work.

I can get anybody for nothing.

Take a walk.

Boss.

Who do you think you are,

Lawrence of Nigeria?

At least I ain't jive.

Big man.

Wanna have din-din?

Why have dinner?

I'm at 1 293 Lennox.

Apartment 4C.

I got to be straight with you, girl.

I'm engaged.

Keep it to yourself.

Swope...

I'm gonna bend your johnson.

I'm ready.

I'm gonna make you young again.

Where is Lopez?

- Where you at, man?

- Stratosphere, baby, stratosphere.

I'm stacked up over at La Guardia,

and I'm not coming down for nobody.

Not even you.

Mr. Swope.

Brother's in the black room.

- Putney. Putney!

- Brother's in the black room.

Sonny Williams, our copywriter,

just got busted at Radio City.

He was sitting in the first row

and when the Rockettes came on...

he opened and closed his raincoat

and exposed himself.

Bad PR.

Tell Sonny next time he shows it,

I'll make him a creative director.

Sonny,

if you don't straighten up...

we're gonna send you to Hollywood

as a choreographer.

Putney, we just sold 1 7 new accounts

and Cowboy says we have $156 million.

Mr. Swope,

Brother's in the black room.

Putney,

there's trouble in the black room.

Mr. Swope,

brother's in the black room.

Just you and me, Swope.

You and me.

I deal with housing

in the community.

Bad plumbing,

bad heating and bad rats.

The only way to set

this thing straight...

is with self-determination,

self-respect and self-defense.

We don't go for Jesus no more.

Violence is a cleansing force.

We must adjust ourselves

to the level of our audience...

which is pretty low.

Non-violence has proven

to be non-functional.

So, it's guns, baby.

The end result will be our own

political, social, economic future.

My organization is pro-integration.

We're not hostile like these other groups.

We can't do it illegally,

we'll do it legitimately.

- You know, up front.

- Tanks, cocktails.

Guns, baby.

The pigs must cease the brutality,

destruction and murder...

of our brothers and sisters.

Or they'll suffer the consequences

from the armed people of the community.

Bazookas. Tanks.

Flamethrowers.

My organization is pro-integration.

We're not hostile like these other groups.

- Lay some bread on it.

- Guns, baby.

A gun is not gonna get your job.

It'll eliminate the competition.

Who the hell wants a job?

- You better get yourself a piece.

- Lay some bread on it.

Lay some bread on it.

Lay some bread on it.

My group doesn't

need your money, man.

But what we can use

is your help on another level.

I believe...

that together with your power

and my structure...

we could create a subliminal tremor

throughout the land...

by using the advertising

that comes out of your toilet.

A word here...

a phrase there...

innuendoes...

and subtleties.

Lay some bread on it.

And when the time is right, man,

we move in for the kill.

- No mercy, stamp on the--

- What about the bread?

Tap City.

When my ship comes in, I'll call you.

You're a sham.

I'm gonna pull

the covers off of you.

You ain't pulling

the covers off of nobody.

...mixed media...

Hey, man.

You're just the cat I wanted to see, man.

I was looking all around for you, Jim.

Do you know what, man?

Like, I'm tired, I'm fed up,

I can't take no more...

I can't stand no more

of Putney Swope, man.

Like, he's got to go, man.

'Cause this cat is a jive cat,

you understand?

You know what, man?

Like, I have been jugging his old lady.

Do you dig this? And this cat

has never said nothing to me, man.

I have called him out many a times in

front of all the people around here...

who kiss this cat's ass, man.

I don't kiss his ass.

'Cause I call it like it is, man.

This man caught me with his woman, and

still, this cat can't get rid of me...

'cause I got the power,

you understand?

I got the power, I got the talent, and

I've got everything that this cat wants.

He keeps me around here because

I make him look good, you understand?

And I'm tired of making

this cat look good.

Are you ready to die?

Man, I'm ready to die.

I'm ready to go anywhere...

do anything, see anybody...

walk, talk, smart, be anything...

to do what I got to do, man. I'm died.

Died means nothing to me, man.

You know, I always wanted

to get things straight around here...

'cause Putney Swope

is a jive cat, man.

He can't talk,

he can't walk, he can't sit.

Man, this cat can't do nothing right.

He was voted in here on a hummer.

Mr. Swope,

I'm tired of doing commercials.

I wanna do something more creative.

- Pick up your severance pay.

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