Putney Swope Page #5

Why are you so hung up

on the Borman Six?

I'm a stockholder.

- Let me sleep on it.

- Good night, pal.

Out.

Swope. Mark Focus.

What do you want?

Did that for Hertz,

that's Colgate...

- Nabisco--

- I seen enough, Mark.

You're one of the best photographers

in the business.

- Thank you.

- Take a walk.

Mr. President?

Mark Focus.

I did this for Kennedy.

I did this for Johnson.

I did this for Nixon.

And this was the Agnell Funeral.

Have you a picture of Raquel Welch?

Would you like to join us?

Did you vote for me?

Well, it's okay.

Beach Club Sundae.

Come up with an idea

for the Borman Six.

I know nothing about automobiles.

Give me an idea for the Borman Six.

All right,

if I ever think of anything...

I'll let you know.

Did you think of something?

- The Borman Six, nitwit.

- Listen, Swope...

if you want me to come up with ideas,

get me a license.

Take me down to city hall

and do what's right.

- Forget it.

- You forget it.

Mr. Swope, congratulations.

What about the Borman Six?

Oh, all right.

- What are they going to feature next year?

- Defects, pollution, velvet safety belts...

- strobe headlights, fiberglass windshields--

- Okay.

You got to get

a young girl with soul.

You better get moving

on that freight elevator.

Sonny Williams got picked up

in the Bronx Holiday Inn...

with a 13-year-old girl.

At least he's not superstitious.

Your lawyer, who's his lawyer,

wants to be the prosecuting attorney.

Get Sonny Williams in here. Now.

Would you like to come over to my house

and have some dainties?

- I don't exercise.

- Don't put me down.

I can't sleep because of you.

That's why I've got these valises

under my eyes.

- I'm in love with you, Myron X.

- My name is Rufus.

I don't care what your name is.

You're my man.

- I'm not your man.

- Yes, you are.

I'm not your man,

and I never will be.

I don't care what you say to me.

You're my biggest fantasy.

I dream about you every night.

That's okay.

Just don't send me the laundry bill.

Putney says the Borman Six girl...

is got to have soul.

Putney says the Borman Six girl...

is got to have soul.

Putney says the Borman Six girl...

is got to have soul!

Got to have soul!

Putney says

the Borman Six girl is...

- Best sh*t on me.

- Yeah.

Excuse me, Mr. Swope,

could I speak to you a minute?

Sure.

Mr. Swope...

I do exactly the same job

as the other executives.

But I don't make

as much money as they do.

I don't think that's right.

If I give you a raise,

everybody's gonna want a raise.

And if I give them a raise, they'll

still be making more money than you.

And we'll be right

back where we started.

I'd never thought of it that way.

And that's why you get less money.

'Cause you don't think.

Thank you.

I believe this. This girl...

she's got to have soul.

Don't you believe this?

She's got to have soul.

Putney says she's got

to have soul. Right?

See, she's got to have soul.

Putney says she's got to have soul.

Don't you believe she's got

to have soul, this girl, huh?

Let's go. Let's go.

You can't eat an air conditioner.

Beautiful,

give everyone a $10 raise.

What about the messengers?

They charge an arm and a leg in there,

but it's worth it.

- What's that for?

- Worth It Life Insurance.

Will the passenger holding...

lucky winning ticket 5- 8- 6...

repeat, 5- 8- 6...

please report to the special lucky

prize room, at the rear of the aircraft?

Go Lucky Airlines.

- Who did that?

- You did. It was your idea.

Not bad, not bad.

We'll have 1 2 more by sundown.

I want these on

the air by tomorrow night.

Putney, in my humble opinion...

these commercials are tasteless.

Putney,

Myron X said you were tasteless.

You said we were gonna do things

with integrity and style.

What we're doing is worse than anything

our predecessors ever done.

Them commercials are literal,

and they're disgusting.

And by advocating such filth...

Putney is confusing

obscenity with originality.

Let me un-confuse you, baby.

Everybody that was

in these commercials, you fired!

Ain't one of them around!

And I know you a jive cat...

'cause you done made your last mistake

you ever gonna make, mister.

I seen that nonsense

you trying to show us here.

You trying to dupe

everybody in this joint.

Now, what is this? We done taken

the last bit of your nonsense, man.

I'm not gonna take all this crap.

Everybody knows you're a jive n*gger.

You done pulled all this jive sh*t.

Your mother had a creative idea

when she borne you...

and you had to go and blow that!

Then you gonna come

and try to show us all this crap.

A n*gger sitting up

there eating cornflakes.

Man, you ain't had nothing original

since you got here.

You stole the idea about Borman Six.

You got it from your wife!

Now you gonna tell me that's a lie?

One night, she told me herself.

And that little nephew who gave you

that idea for that other thing...

and you got rid of him.

Ain't nobody around

who help you in anything.

Everybody either been shut up,

cut up, or been put out.

Can't you see this trash

this man is trying to sell us?

Look at you in the highwater pants.

You jive n*gger, look at you...

two-button suit?

Now what kind of suit is that?

You're supposed to be a soul brother.

Look at this brother's hair.

Everybody's dressed up like

pride and dignity. You ain't got none.

Now what kind of godfather...

This company

runs because I'm here.

And I'm going to hate you

if you don't get right.

And you ain't right, and I hate you.

I hate you, you understand?

I hate you because you a jive cat.

You ain't got nothing inside!

You got to go.

You got to go or I got to go,

and I'm not going.

How do you like that?

He ain't got a thing inside him...

he ain't nothing but a shell.

Hey, man, you better let me go!

I'm gonna get him!

Sh*t! Hands off me!

- Cut.

- Cut.

What do you think?

Keep the money, Swope.

But don't put it on the air,

or I'll be out of business.

- What's wrong with it?

- Too much tail-pipe.

Listen, you.

You lucky I'm pushing this death trap.

I don't play.

Goes on the air tomorrow night.

- What the hell are you doing?

- Making a delivery.

You better make it down the stairs,

and come back up the freight elevator.

- It's 36 flights.

- I don't care what it is.

Why do I have to take the freight

elevator? I'm not a package.

Because it's custom.

It's policy.

Love you, Walter.

I love you more than anything else

in the world.

- I'll see you later.

- I love you, Walter.

I love you too, Mother.

You know you're not supposed to serve

food without something on your head.

I don't want your hair in my food.

I told you a hundred times.

- All right.

- Get in the kitchen.

Honey,

I'm sorry about this sandwich.

That tile man's got the kitchen

so stacked high with tiles...

cook can't cook anything.

I'd send the damn tiles back...

but you know we're having

a dinner party on Friday.

You see, it's terribly difficult to run

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