Raising Helen Page #6

And you, falling asleep. You get out.

Party's over. Elevator leaving.

Hey, you. This is not a slumber party.

Get out. Get out, you.

Get out, snoop doggies.

- You, get out of here.

- No.

- I said, "Get out."

- Chill out, Miss Rambo.

- I'm trying to get my stuff.

- Get out, little hooligan. Get out.

- Yo, BZ, let's get outta here.

- Great party.

Baggy-pant little diaper boy,

go home to mama.

I'm serious. You get out of here.

I said go! Get out of here.

Back home with your baggy pants

and your diapers.

Go home, naughty boy.

Good night, Helen.

What is the matter with you?

Don't you remember

what it's like to be young?

Of course I remember.

It was last Wednesday.

Hi.

Can I ask you a question?

What was Lindsay thinking?

So listen, don't worry about it.

They'll appreciate it when they're older.

I know. I just hate being hated.

I love it.

- I don't have that relationship...

- You do.

You know, you can tell me

all your problems, really. I'm a solver.

I once got an axle-grease stain out of silk.

OK, solver, can you find me a job

close to home with decent pay?

And a dental plan for the cavity triplets?

My husband Ravi.

Do you know where I can find

a Ravi Prasad?

Yeah, he's inside.

You'll see, we're like one big family here.

Now, the owner, Mr Massey, nice guy,

very fair, but he's picky about who he hires.

Hey, Ralphy, any takers

on that lime-green baby?

You wise guy.

- I still got five bucks says you'll sell it.

- You're on.

We got... We got stuck with this

lime-green Lincoln. Been here for months.

Mr Massey's offering a ham

to the first person who can sell it.

- A ham?

- Oh, yeah.

Guys are big on free meats round here.

Now, listen. Mr Massey's a little nervous.

He acted in his first

on-camera TV commercial today.

And see me, Mickey Massey,

a name you can trust.

Uh... Yeah, I forgot to point.

You want a deal on a previously owned

car? Well, come... Charlie! Charlie!

It's me. Yeah. Commercial.

You want a deal on a previously owned

car? Come to Massey Motors...

Come in.

Thank you.

Yeah, I pointed the wrong way again.

- Hi, I'm Helen.

- Sit. I'll be with ya in a second. Just sit.

Remember:
Massey means trust.

- What'd you think of that?

- I believe it.

Don't. Massey doesn't mean trust.

It means hillside in French.

I can't do dishonest.

Ravi, we're reshooting that commercial.

Honest. We need an honest commercial,

Ravi. All right?

- I'm sorry. Ms Helen Harris. OK.

- Yes.

- How long did you work as a secretary?

- Actually, I wasn't a secretary.

As it states right there, I was an

executive assistant to Dominique Courier,

and I had a promise of promotion to agent.

OK.

You seem like a nice girl, Helen.

And you're a friend of Ravi and Nilma's.

All right, we're looking for a receptionist.

The pay is 17.50 an hour,

the hours are nine to five.

So, how does that suit you, hm?

I always thought I could have

a career in used cars one day.

We don't sell used cars.

Previously owned or prior-owned cars.

Prior-owned.

Now, you just have to pass

one little test, OK?

Ravi to Parts.

Ravi to Parts.

Ravi to Parts. Ravi to Parts.

Ralphy to the showroom.

Ralphy to the showroom.

Yeah?

Helen to Payroll.

Hello.

She made the cover!

I know this girl. I know her.

- She looks beautiful.

- So how many copies d'you want?

None.

Good. Get your hands washed, guys.

Hey, you, look, look, look. Hello, hello.

- Hello, sweetie. Happy Mother's Day.

- Happy Mother's Day.

- You.

- Aunt Jenny, hey.

Oh, gosh. Everybody, please sit down.

All right. We're going to eat right away.

So, um, did you remember

to bring your letter?

- Oh, of course I did.

- Mm-hm. Oh.

- Not until you show me yours.

- Well, why don't we just do it after dinner?

- Stay!

What happened with the train?

Was there a delay?

No, no. Audrey was making samosas

at Nilma's, so we caught the next train.

Mm-hm. Just one?

Well, they were hungry

so they ate them on the way.

Can I help you with something, Jenny?

You know what?

I've got everything organized.

Ooh. Ooh.

Sweetie, what did Mommy say about

kicking when she's having a conversation?

You need to wait until she's finished.

Thank you very much.

Did you just boss around the unborn?

It's never too early

to start learning manners.

OK, kids. We're ready.

Whoa!

Wow!

- Oh, my gosh.

- Look at that. Hey, guys.

- Holy cow.

- Yeah.

- Oliver, did you wash your hands?

- Yes, Mom.

Everything tastes great, honey. You

shouldn't have to cook on Mother's Day.

You know I don't mind.

Being a mom is the greatest job on earth.

I know your mom felt that way.

- Jenny.

- What?

We all love her. We miss her.

We can mention her. Can't we?

I don't like to.

Me neither.

You know, would you kids like

to talk about what you've been reading?

- Harry Potter.

- Harry Potter.

- Stuff by Shank 54.

- Huh.

- That sounds interesting. Who's that?

- He writes poems.

On the side of our building.

With spray paint at four in the morning.

Sometimes I help when I can't sleep

because Aunt Helen's on a date

or Audrey's on the Internet talking dirty

or Sarah's crying

because we forgot to feed her again.

Henry.

What?

Jenny, no.

Henry, what are you talking about?

Is this some kind of joke?

I don't know why

you keep saying things like this.

It's not funny.

- I thought it was funny.

- Thank you.

Henry was making all of that up, Jenny.

Jenny, what are you doing?

"When a problem comes along

you must whip it. Before the cream..."

- Jenny, give me my letter.

- That's it?

That's all she left behind

to explain why she chose you?

- The lyrics to "Whip lt"?

- It makes sense to me.

What is it with you two and that song?

It's ridiculous. I don't get it.

- Exactly!

- What are you saying?

That that's the point? I'm no fun? That I

don't get things? That I never make jokes?

Show me your letter.

No.

No? No? What do you mean "no"?

We said you would read my letter

and I would read yours.

This is not a letter.

These are lyrics. Nonsensical lyrics.

This is not a letter.

If this was a letter, you could read my letter,

but this is not a letter.

Not a letter?

What?

You are a smug,

bitter, colossal b*tch.

OK. Guys.

I think this is a good time

to take Origami for a walk.

No, we'll miss the fight.

If you're finished,

I think I'd like to serve dessert.

You don't wanna help me,

you just wanna judge me.

Let's all go into the living room and listen

to Jasmine play the piano with one arm.

You just wanna prove that you're a better

mother than me, that Lindsay was wrong.

Why would I need to prove that?

Of course I'm a better mother than you.

I've been doing it forever. But does that

matter? No. She still chose you over me.

Exactly. She chose, Jenny. Not me.

I had no control over it.

You're angry with me because

of a decision that she made for me.

" Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Life is...

I am giving up everything for these kids,

and you have no idea what that's like.

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