Recep Ivedik 2 Page #3

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Tell me, what is this?

What is it?

Your view would be from here.

There are two massive butt-cheeks.

Normally they're a bit smaller.

With you they're like this.

Yours are more separated, etc. not normal.

I'll describe it later.

It's like this.

Take some vaseline,

like so, take a generous amount.

Lubricate it well with your hands.

Now, the suppository.

The beginning is a bit rough, but the end is smooth.

You take it, you put the tip here.

The beginning is a bit rough, but the end is smooth.

You take it, you put the tip here

What kind of a man are you,

you crazy or what?

Come madam,

I'm going to help you out.

Help me, so help me!

You should be ashamed to work with

such a pervert as him!

Dear Neriman.

She was putting it all on.

Excuse me, but she had 9 tonnes of

dried sh*t in her stomach.

She asks us to help, then treats us

so rudely, so perverse!

But you're a rude man,

you're too insensitive.

Alright look, I understand where you're going here.

Take this off me,

there, take my coat.

I'm handing in my pledge

of prostate here.

Take the suppository. I'm handing in

my resignation and I'm going.

Go on!

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Let's go.

God I swear I've got diarrhoea

because of the motions.

And the increased atmospheric

pressure to boot, you know.

...it's gonna blow my pants off.

Has it ever happened to you?

No. Never mind, try and forget it

for now.

I'll oversee the economy class section.

And you can take care of Business Class.

Business Class?

Yes, Business Class is upto the curtain.

It's for businessmen.

Ah, on this side of the curtain we have notables,

i.e. businessmen.

Yes, absolutely.

Okay, I got it,

I'll make sure.

Sir, I wish you a good

day. Welcome to Atlas Jet.

Good evening ladies and

gentlemen...

Welcome on board for

flying to the Atlas Jet.

- Your field of business?

- Textiles.

- Very good. Yours?

- Tourism, mate.

- Fine, and yours?

- The food sector.

- Food sector! And you?

- I'm with textiles.

It is said that the two who love textiles

are destined to meet.[Laughs] And you?

- Yes?

- Your job, your occupation?

Why are you asking?

I need to be sure that our passengers

in Business Class are actually businessmen.

I'm a film producer.

Looking at madam here, I can more or less

guess the subject of your films...

Congrats, you are in the right area!

Well, what about you?

Take them off, take them off!

What's your job?

What occupation, I'm just having fun!

Fun? I swear, I'll beat the f*** out of you!

Get in the back! Rude kid.

You're just a slacker. Some kind of

Kargo Koray fan. Get in the back!

Taking up Business Class seats!

Excuse me. We are having

a small seurity issue.

Don't worry Mr. And Mrs. Brown

there is a little problem.

What's your occupation?

Your seatbelts attach

as shown.

Look at the belt it opens

and closes like this.

Look at the belt it opens

and closes like this

It's very easy, no need to explain

over and over.

Our plane has eight emergency exits.

The exits! Everyone turn your heads!

Afterwards I don't want to hear anyone saying

I didn't see, I didn't know.

Here, observe, 2 at the front,

2 behind and 2 right here.

Ah! The emergency instructions.

Don't bother with this at all.

When they tell you to lean forward and

all that, they're chatting sh*t.

If the plane crashes, everyone

just hug one another.

The probability that we'll all die

is exactly ninety percent.

You have viewing lights above each seat,

don't dare ask me later...

...we're in the dark sir,

call the host for help.

We're showing you,

lights above everyone.

If the cabin pressure should vary,

above your head...

Ah, oxygen! While we are

in the air, if the pressure drops...

...the lid should open,

Where is the compartment?

This is it.

It should open by itself.

Take this, pull back the elastic,

then pull over your head like so.

Make sure you do the kids first. They're

telling it wrong over there.

Make sure you do the kids first. They're

telling it wrong over there.

Life jackets are below

the seats, you can set them to your size.

These are the clips, just clip on them like this.

Two red handles,

ensure you fasten them tight!

Hey! hey! F***! Get it off!

Don't tear my hair off!

I was going to die there you know, why don't you believe me?

My head aches due to increased blood pressure,

and my bottom due to diarrhoea, man.

And on top of all that the air pressure!

I swear I was going to explode.

But why did you pull

the strings Recep?

"Why did you pull

the strings Recep?" she says.

How else are we meant

to show the passengers?

Man I'm lucky to be alive.

You see I have two capillaries...

...going from my neck to my brain, both

feeding my frontal lobe...

When the circulation

disappears, I just collapse immediately!

When the circulation

disappears, I just immediately collapse!

Yes, you've been through a lot.

Yes, I know.

You have not attached your belt?

Don't insult me.

Don't insult me.

My family is one of the first

Families of Aviation.

When I was only seven years old,

I was already playing with a force 12-14 G.

I'm very experienced.

Do you know who you're talking about?

My grandmother was one of the

first Turkish women who flew.

She was on a flight with

Safiye Soyman once.

Safiye Soyman?

Who is that?

What a disgrace! You don't know that and

call yourself a flight attendant?

How can you call yourself an air hostess?

You don't even know the first

Turkish woman who flew on a plane?

My goodness!There was even

an airport named after her.

You haven't heard of the Safiye Soyman airport?

But that's the Sabiha Gken airport, Recep,

not Safiye Soyman!

Oh yes, it's possibly a misnomer.

My memory is overloaded.

You are funny.

Ay! What was that?

Dear passengers...

We are experiencing some turbulence.

Please fasten your seatbelts ...

-What's the hell is going on!

-It's just turbulence.

Hold on, I'll ask

the Captain.

It must be the pilot's

fault.

He needs to fly the plane

instead of talking.

Stay here, one minute.

Open up, I want a word!

Oy, come on out! Out!

Nothing is wrong sir, please be calm.

Come here.

What's with the artistic impressions?

Wake up,

You're lost in the head.

Pilot the aircraft properly!

Do not put it into turbulence.

Leave out the artistic stunts and fly the plane properly!

You are on an empty road.

-There's nothing in front!

-Nothing, nothing, nothing!

Look at you! Can't even brush your hair!

You think you're an expert?

You think you're the best?

Just shut up and drive the plane.

Pilot it properly!

You're up in empty space.

No roads, nothing,

just air all around!

Dumb f***!

Let's see that.

Hmm, they should also give us men

hats like yours.

What happened?

What is it my handsome grandson?

Massage it, gently, gently...

But what happened to you grandson?

Tell me what you have.

It was the atmospheric pressure.

I've got gas in my stomach.

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