Reno 911!: Miami Page #6

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Okay, here we go.

Okay.

####[Vocalizing]

####[Man Singing]

[Clanging]

####[Continues]

[Squeaking]

####[Continues]

- ####[Ends]

- What the f***? What the f***?

There's someone filming us!

- Ow! Ow! Jim. Ow. Ow.

- What? I know.

- It's caught.

- You're caught on one of my pubes.

- My watch. My watch is caught on your pube.

- Ooh. Jim. Ow!

- Don't yank it.

- Well, that's what we get for tryin'.

Don't jiggle.

Please don't- Ow!

I'm trying to get it. Goddamn it!

If you'd hold still, I'd get it loose.

- You're caught on a pube.

- I said this was a bad idea.

Well, I'm sorry!

This wasn't my idea to begin with.

Meanwhile, my watch is caught

in your pubes. And I'm sorry.

- Okay, let's do it like a Band-Aid.

- Ready?

- Okay.

- One-

Okay, hold on. Hold on.

Now I'm anticipating.

How did the 911 switchboard

come unplugged?

Because we had to unplug it

to plug in the popcorn maker.

Don't yell-

Don't yell back at me.

I'm not- in no mood

for my own tone of voice, okay?

Sorry. Jim, we got

a lot of missed calls here.

- [Gasps] Ooh, you guys.

- [Johnson] What?

There's a domestic dispute on Brad Pitt

and Angelina Jolie's boat.

- [Cheering]

- No, it's not.

Easy. Got it. Easy, easy.

That's an easy one.

Done. Done, done, done.

Let's move.

- [Sirens Blaring]

- [Tires Squealing]

[Dangle]

What the f***, man?

- Mr. And Mrs. Pitt!

- Sheriff's department!

- Sheriff's department!

- Sheriff's department!

- [Gunfire]

- [Screaming]

[Dangle]

Oh, my God.! Oh, my God.!

- Okay. Okay, my-

- [Williams] Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I am so tired of you Renos.

I'm sorry this is the end

of the road for you.

But you see, I created

this Brangelina trap...

because you are the last thing

standing in my way.

[Junior]

Between what and what?

Between running this town.

- [Firing]

- [Screaming]

Freeze, you f***in' little monkey!

F.B.I. Nobody move.

Are you kidding me?

F.B.I., you know-

Catch it. Yeah, you said.

- Get down. That's it.

- [Screaming]

- Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Hold me! Hold me!

- That's it. Let's go.

You stay right where you are.

- We're not movin'.

- Go, you flies in the ointment!

- [Screams]

Get him!

Get him!

[Man] F.B.I., you broke my heart!

You broke my heart!

- [Guns Clicking]

- Oh, sh*t.

[Woman]

Hold your fire.!

- Hold your fire.!

- That's good. I'm out.

- Yeah, me too.

- He is gonna lead us to Mr. Big.

- He has the antidote for the bioattack.

- For the convention center.

- You're undercover F.B.I.

- Just f***ing amazing.

- [Johnson] She earned it.

- Yeah, I am. It's amazing.

- You got a little bit-

- Do l-Yeah.

- On both sides.

- Oh, do I? It's all right,

'cause I'm gonna keep doin' it.

This whole goddamn thing

is busted wide open, Jeff.

Busted open like a $2.00 piata.

The F.B.I. Has had a mole

in with this drug jefe for months.

She knows everything. She knows names.

She knows dates. She knows places.

She can connect the drug

jefe to the bioattack.

She can connect the bioattack

to this Mr. Big.

She can connect Mr. Big, the bioattack

and the drug jefe to the antidote.

We get to Mr. Big, all of these cops are fine.

This bird is gonna sing.

- She's gonna sing like a little bird.

- Where-And where is she?

It's a 23-delta-one, sir.

Massive cocaine overdose.

You're fired.

All of you.

Um, hand in your badges.

Out of Miami.

- I'm sorry, Jeff.

- Just don't say you're sorry.

- Okay.

- I'm sorry, Jeff.

Don't- S-

Don't say that you're-

- Our bad.

- I have to apologize.

Don't say anything.

- We suck.

- No, j-

- I am really sorry, you know.

- Don't sa- I s-

- You know. You know how sh*t goes d-

- No, l-Just go.

- Sorry.

- Go. Go.

I have some regrets. I, uh-

It may seem dumb...

but they had one of

those six-person bicycles.

We never got to ride it.

Yeah, might as well

take this and-

"Miami's only 24-hour tattoo parlor.

"Ron's Discount Tattoo.

No waiting.

Hepatitis free."

Oh, my God! I think this is it.

Sheriff's department.

- Ron, I'm looking for Ron.

- Hello.

- Ron.

- Hello.

- Buddy.

- Yeah?

Do you remember me at all?

Please say yes.

Oh, hey, I don't recognize the face,

but I certainly recognize the cleavage.

How are you, Clem?

We didn't know you was fuzz.

- You remember Paul, right?

- Hiya. Yeah, hi.

- How you doin'?

- Nice to see you.

Please, l- I am in-

I'm in hell here.

- Who is this?

- Oh, that came out real clean.

- That's good work, Ron.

- That is a tight tit tat.

Thanks. Help me out.

- All right. Well-

- Who is it?

Okay, well, you come in with this guy.

He was an older guy.

Looked to me like- I don't know-

he was homeless. Wouldn't you say, Paul?

Yep. Hobo.

And you got his face tattooed

right there on your tit.

So-

[Chuckles]

- What you're sayin' is I wandered in here-

- Stumbled.

Stumbled in here...

with a vagrant.

More or less. Yeah.

And I...

defaced my chest-

No, you-

y- you faced your chest.

If you want,

we could cover that up.

I could make a unicorn out of that.

Freehand.

I do everything freehand.

We screwed up pretty good.

We letJeff the acting mayor down.

But we're big enough...

to admit when

we made a mistake.

And... we're smart enough to fix it.

We're gonna make it up toJeff.

And how are we gonna

make it up toJeff?

The best way we know how,

that's how.

- Ice cream cake!

- [Cheering]

[Woman]

Coming.!

- Here I come.!

- She's coming.

- I'm almost there.!

- She's almost here.

All right, who's he-

- Oh! Hello! Look at all of you.

- Hey.

How many?

Trick or treat.

- Yeah, is that what you want?

- Well, no, we came-

- Is Jeff around?

- Yeah. Yeah. He's cleaning his room.

- Oh.

- So disappointed in that boy.

- Yeah, he's- he's-

- Oh, God, it's a mess.

- Yeah. What do you want?

- Well, he's kinda disappointed in us...

- so we brought him a ice cream cake.

- [Gasps]

Oh, my God! [Mutters]

Ice cream cake!

Oh, she loves ice cream.

Oh, my God!

- Chocolate chip?

- No, just vanilla. It's just a vanilla.

All right, come on in.

- Jeff!

- He's, uh, in his room there?

- [Woman] Careful of your shoes, please.

- Watch out for your shoes.

- Hey, Jeff.

- Maybe this would be cheaper than baby laxative.

Those pennies add up.

Take a bow, Reno cops.

- You- Good job.

- Did you set me up, man? 'Cause if you did, man-

What the hell are you even saying?

How clear could I have made it?

Leave no connection between us.

- I don't leave nothing, man.

I see these guys on the-

- Don't leave nothin'.

Then we don't have to worry about them

coming with a camera and-

Oh, my God!

Here they are!

How did they figure out

that we were gonna poison everyone...

in the way of me being the mayor?

And then you, with all of your drug contacts

and distribution...

was going to turn this state...

into the biggest narco empire

on planet Earth?

- Well, they figuring it out now.

- Well, obviously, yeah.

Obviously, you guys put it all together.

That's exactly right, Spoder.

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