Reno 911!: Miami Page #7

---

We figured it out.

- Mm-hmm.

- A-All of it.

- Amen.

- And-

Could you go over the middle part again,

what you were doing?

Oh, I'd be- I'd be happy to

repeat the middle part.

- Okay.

- Um, our plan was-

- All right, everyone. Everyone.

Everyone, get back!

- [Clamoring]

Get back!

No, no, put that away!

Close the case. Close the case.

Close the case and give it to me.

- Give me the antidote! Give me the antidote!

- Give him the antidote!

- Okay.

- Sorry.

- Hey, man.

- You're on your own.

- No, you know what you are, man?

- What?

I say, you know what you are?

You're haza.

You're haza, man.

I've understood, like, every third word you've

said to me the whole time I've known you.

And you know what?

I don't really care.

'Cause all of you-

[Laughs]

Get a load of Spoder!

[Laughs]

- Oh-

- Whoa.!

Okay, okay. Okay.

[Without Accent]

This isn't me. This isn't-

- [Dangle] What happened to your accent?

- [Williams] Whoa.

My name is Ethan.

I live just outside of Denver.

- Shut up!

- Well, not anymore. No, I live here now.

Originally, I'm from Fort Collins.

I was dealing blow

in Colorado, all right?

Uh, but it was a- a fruitless thing to do-

No one cared.

It's hard to sell coke there.

I don't know whether it's the elevation

or just the way of life there.

They're more interested in, uh, like, you know,

mush- mushrooms and acid and stuff.

- This was, uh-

- Hey, there's the, uh- antidote-

- Do you have more of that here

or is it all with him?

- No, he took all of it.

- He has all of the antidote.

- Oh, sh*t. We should wrap this up.

Like I told you,

I will give you anything you want.

Uh, as long as

I get immunity here. I don't care.

- I'll rat that guy.

- I think we can do that. That's cool.

- I think we can do immunity, right?

- That would be the greatest.

- No immunity to bullets.

- Oh, God.!

- [Screaming]

- [Dangle] Oh, God.!

[Sighs]

- Let's get him!

- Oh, my God! Get him! Get him!

- Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Ow! Ow! Ow!

Sh*t! She's stuck!

She's stuck!

- Push me!

- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go the other way!

Go the other way!

Other way.! Other way.!

Other way.! Other way.! Other way.!

- Go! Go! Go!

- Hey, what's going on?

- You stay right there, Mrs. Spoder.

- Why are you going away now?

- [Dangle] You're a material witness, Mrs. Spoder!

- We're gonna come back for you.

- Can somebody help me?

- Spoder!

- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Drop it.! Drop it right away, now.!

Oh, my God! Jesus!

Hey! Hey!

What the f***? Did they- Did they run away?

No running away! What the f***?

- Go! Come on! Go! Go! Go!

- All right, you want a chase?

- [Dangle] He's goin'.

- [Gunshot]

- Oh, time out.

- [Johnson] Hang on, Wiegel!

- [Gunshots]

- Jeff!

- Travis!

- Give it up!

- Junior, don't play God.

- Travis!

- Out of the way! Police pursuit!

- Whoa!

- [Dangle] You gotta- Son of a-Jesus!

- Junior! Halt!

- Whoa!

- I got him!

- Come on. Let's go for it!

- Get out of the vehicle now!

- Ohh!

- Nice one.

- [Jeff] You don't wanna go where I'm goin'.!

- [Dangle] Why not?

- Go to the left!

- Miami cops!

- Ohh! Ohh!

- [Horn Honks]

- Oh, my God!

- Oh! Hey!

[Man]

A**holes.!

- Don't you dare! Don't you dare!

- Uh-uh! Uh-uh!

Hey! Hey!

- Watch where you're shooting! Jesus Christ!

- We're between you and him!

[Bell Clanging]

- He's gonna jump that bridge!

- I know. I know.

- He's gonna do it!

- [Jeff] I'm gonna jump it!

- Hammer of the gods!

- [Johnson] He's gonna jump it. Sh*t!

- Whoa!

- [Dangle] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

- Oh, that hurts.

- Oh, my neck.

- Everybody, hey, hands up! Hands up!

- [Gunshot]

- [Screams]

- Get down! Get down! Get down!

- No, no, I mean- I mean, stand up!

- Get down?

- No, don't get- I swear to God!

- Tell us what you want us to do, Jeff!

Everyone, stand up and look at me!

Stand up and look at me!

- Stand up and look at you.

- Put your guns down, everyone.! Kick 'em away.!

- K-Kick your guns away.

- Kick 'em away?

Don't walk after them! Kick them

away from you and stay where you are!

- Kick them and step back?

- Kick them away and step back!

- What are you doing?

- I'm kicking them and stepping back.

Step back!

Guess what?

I'm glad it came to this.

I'm glad that you douche-nozzles

ruined my plan.

Because now I am drunk

on unprecedentedness.

- And th- What, Dangle?

- Unprecedentiality.

- [Machine Gun Firing]

- I will think of some-Stand up.!

Final words.

Johnson, go.

Um, um, uh, legalize it?

Great. Fine. Wiegel.

- Okay, when I was in the fourth grade-

- Enough!

- Dangle, last words.

- Uh, he, uh, uh, uh- he loved it.

- Great.

- Sh*t!

- All right, no, that's your last words.

- Jeff-Jeff, no, no.!

- That's your last words.

- That's not my last words! My last words-

- Here we go. Ready?

- [Kimball] No, I think you

should talk to him more.!

[Jones On P.A.]

Anybody call for backup? Yeah!

[Garcia On P.A.]

"El departmento de sheriff."

Die, you whirlybird motherfuckers!

[Garcia]

No, I got it. Sh*t. Hold on.

Goddamn- No, I got it.

Sh*t. Son of a b*tch.

[Jeff] I give up, whirlybird.!

I give up, whirlybird.!

- Whoo! Ha, ha!

- [Wiegel] We did it.!

[Laughing]

- [Laughing Continues]

- I need the extender!

I need the- another set of cuffs.

He's too chubby to fit 'em.

Yeah!

[Laughing]

I'm not chubby.

This is protective karate fat.

- Protective karate fat. You know what?

- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Tell it to the judge, Spoder.

Nice work, people.

Nice work, indeed.

You know, I know we're probably not

the smartest bunch of cops in the whole world.

Probably not the best trained.

Probably not the smartest bunch

of cops in the whole world.

Individually, I don't think

we look like much-

- a couple of colored people,

some white folks, a lesbian.

- Sir, I'm not-

But l- I think

the important thing is-

Know what we are?

Does anybody know what we are?

- A squad?

- Gorgeous.

- Squad. Gorgeous.

- People.

- People. All sort of right.

- Broke.

- Rope?

- Broke.

Broke. All pretty accurate.

- Heroes.

- I thought you said rope.

Heroes- Can I fini- Okay, can I f***in' finish

the thing I was gonna say?

[Junior]

Sh*t.!

That was my bad.

- Was that the oneJeff was in?

- Yeah.

- Anybody-

- Double-time. Double-time.

Double-time. Double-time.

Trudy. Trudy, double-time.

[Man On P.A.] If you were inside

the convention center...

let's have you line up

to be inoculated.

We have an antidote. We need everyone

to line up now, please, in an orderly fashion.

- Hi.

- [Clears Throat]

Look, you don't have to thank us.

I know.

You did your job. Barely.

So what?

Well, good ridd- riddance

to you too. I mean-

These were literally right in front of me.

[Williams]

He's getting his badge.

[Cheering]

- Heroes.

- We did it.

Teamwork. Teamwork. Teamwork.

Hands in. Hands in.

- That's my team. A teamwork team.

- [Together] Reno!

Best sheriff's department in the world.

I bet we're gonna make

the national real deal.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes