Richard Pryor: Live in Concert Page #6

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this is for fun?

You know, cause the n*gger

will be f***ing with you, right.

As soon as you get in the ring,

Ali be talking about,

I say, wait a minute,

Does this n*gger know

this is a benefit?

He arent supposed to

hit my ass up

In this mother f***er.

And the n*gger is so fast

That you don't see his punches

till they coming back

That's all you see right,

And your mind be saying,

wait a minute now,

There was some sh*t

in my face a minute ago,

I know that much.

Ali came out, man,

He threw about eight punches

About a quarter inch

from my nose.

He said.

I said, sh*t!

And I was happy to be

in the ring with the champ,

You know what I mean.

But my mind kept saying, I said,

What happens if this n*gger

Has one of them

Joe Frazier flashbacks.

You know what I mean,

He might go round 11,

Joe Frazier, boom.

And he'll give me brain damage

for life, right.

I'd be, uh-Huh.

Freaky deaky.

That boxing is

a hard hustle, though.

I used to box

in the golden gloves.

I was good in the gym.

It was in the ring

where I had my trouble.

I was a mother f***er in the gym

hitting the heavy bag, you know,

Cause the bag don't move.

Cause you get in the rings,

N*ggers will be talking about

I said, hey, coach,

what about this sh*t here!

I say, this n*gger moving!

And I always had to

box them dudes

That looked like

they just killed their parents.

You know, have you ever

seen them n*ggers

With them big rusty ass hands,

The kind of hand you can strike

a match in the middle of it?

Right.

They come out at the bell

beating themself up.

Right,

I'm saying, well,

he don't give a f*** about me!

He kicking his own ass!

Then the coach say,

stick and move, stick and move.

And you be scared when you have

your first boxing, right,

You'll be doing.

And you'll get one in,

right,

You'll look at

your own sh*t and say,

Hey, this sh*t

might work, right.

And then you start trying

a little bit.

Then it gets good to you, right.

And I f***ed around

And left one of them pings

out there too long.

And I saw this n*gger's eyes

got real red.

And in his mind,

I know he was saying,

I'm going to kill them ribs.

And he hit me with a punch

he got from... Mississippi.

It came from Mississippi,

in slow motion,

It say.

Gained momentum in Georgia

Swept up through Louisiana

And my body said

get the f*** out of the way.

I couldn't move, though.

And my mind is saying

drop your arm, block the punch,

Then counter with your right.

But my arm said, I arent got

nothing to do with it.

And he hit me in the ribs,

You ever had air

leave your body,

Air just said, f*** it!

And then he saw

my other side was weak

And he said,

Oh, you want some air

And I kept trying to fall,

But my legs was in good shape.

They wouldn't fall.

My legs just looked at me

and said,

Why in the f*** should we fall?

There arent nobody hit us.

Sh*t, you going to make us look bad

Cause you can't take

an ass whipping.

You better raise your ass

back up there, jack.

I had one n*gger

whoop me so good

I thought he was playing conga

on my body.

I start dancing

with the mother f***er.

And what hurts you

most in boxing

Like when your box, right,

Is the mother f***ers

that hit you in the body.

I mean, you can deal

With them wild swinging

mother f***ers, right,

Cause you just block

their punch,

Get out of the way.

But the body punchers, jack,

You come out with your guard

like this at first,

You be all up here.

About round five

you come out.

And you forget

your chin is open, right.

You be going, you can't

hit me in the ribs now.

The cat hits you

in the chin, paw.

And your legs are

the first thing to go, right.

Your legs say, excuse me,

Uh, Im falling,

I don't know about you.

And you be saying, no, legs,

hang in there, f*** it.

And you be down, jack.

You start looking in

the audience for your parents.

Hi, mom.

I'm okay.

The referee counting and sh*t,

you know.

You say, I don't know

what the f*** you counting for,

I arent getting up.

I'm going to make sure

this fight's over.

I arent getting out of the ring

till they start sweeping up.

And there's always somebody

in the audience talking about,

Get up!

Get up!

F*** you!

That's how I got down here

in the first place.

That's why you got to keep

your legs in shape man,

And do road work and sh*t.

You got to run

four and five miles a day.

Ali run backwards cause

that's the way he fights.

I just be running like this.

Rashan, my trainer, he say,

run and keep your mouth closed,

Breathe through your nose.

You be.

You'll be breathing

through your nose

And snot start coming

out of your nose, right.

That's when

the women come out, right.

You got snot

hanging on your nose.

You ever be running and get one

of them,

And get it on somebody

running next to you?

Like it's,

Say jack, what's this sh*t

you got on!

Do you know

I will kick your ass!

You going to be running for real,

you don't get this sh*t off me!

And sometimes it's ego crushing

when you be running,

Cause an old white man

be out there

Lapping your ass, right.

Be.

And you ever be running and

you get that pain in your side

Where the pain say, hello,

I'll be f***ing with you

the next hour or so.

I serve no purpose

other than to kill your ass.

I'll be moving

from side to side,

Down your groin

and up your ass.

When you drop dead,

I will stop.

I need some water.

No, but you got to stay

in shape and sh*t,

Cause you never can tell

when in real life

You will have to... run!

That's right, run.

, run.

Why get killed

when you can... run!

That's right,

A lot of people

get an ass whipping,

And you could run.

You'll be in the hospital,

Your ego will heal a lot faster

than a broken jaw.

Cause you'll still be

in the hospital talking about,

Sh*t, I should have run.

Run!

That's right,

if somebody pull a knife on you,

And you can't pull out nothing

but a hand with some skin on it,

Your intelligence

ought to tell you to... run!

But people be watching Kojak

and sh*t too much.

They think they have to be

macho man.

I'll take that knife

and shove it up your ass.

I'm macho man.

You go from macho man

to dead person.

Cause see, in the movies,

They always make looking

getting stabbed with a knife

Look like it's cool, right,

because they have that music.

See, in real life,

You don't hear no

All you feel

is a knife in your ass.

You won't be talking about

,

So run!

And teach your old lady

how to run

So you don't have

to go back after her ass.

You say, Ill meet you home

in five minutes, baby.

And then you got

something to laugh about

When you get home, right.

You say, baby, sh*t,

I beat you here by two minutes,

What the f*** happened?

See, but people

try to be macho man.

That'll get you f***ed up, jack.

Especially nowadays,

Cause young dudes that fight,

They don't even fight

like older people,

You know what I mean.

Like when we used

to just have gang fights

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