Ricky Gervais: Out of England - The Stand-Up Special Page #3

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"Grsanul, da, IL tiu!"

A Ziar but numit "Umorist corpolent."

There are full-bodied, right?

There was a photo in two British newspapers last weekend're ...

I caught you some paparazzi in Los Angeles, I stay so,

i a aprut in Daily Mail to News of the World .

And I have asked a question in Picture:

"Este Ricky gravid?"

Is zis sa mai "bucalatul hazliu."

Sounds like the name of a gay porn star, right?

"Uite-l, sose hazliu buclatul you."

Face jogging Odate, iPod cu-ul meu.

Arata bine ...

Paparazzi caught me a full page of the next day,

titlul cu "iPodge" (podgy = ndesat).

La naiba, in puii Mei.

In Fine ... Unde rmsesem?

Ah, yes, all the charities that I do.

I do not want to talk about it, but I ...

One of the great works of charity in which I was involved,

Several years ago, while working at the University of London,

Terrence Higgins was Fund, the largest fund for AIDS charity in the UK.

Was going through the 80's, and yet people still ask,

What's new thing called AIDS?

It is doing well, has gone around the world,

E Global.

Are i ziua ei ...

1 decembrie, Ziua Mondiala Shida.

I do not think you get to have Christmas aura.

Pentru khan ... emanates to the negative energie.

And card companies have missed the opportunity. Usually they throw in everything before them again.

Pothi naked face of rost carduri "Do Rau firewall avei AIDS."

Does not exist.

Or stuff-those who sing a short song to cheer someone.

A suitable song. I do not know which would be suitable song ...

No matter ...

Not always keep this number in San Francisco ...

Oh, mai dad!

However I learned something fascinating while working at Terrence Higgins Fund.

People always learns something new in my sermons.

Tell you something absolutely true ...

The first HIV virus was a combination of two viruses and different

who engaged in dwarf monkeys and created a rudimentary form of AIDS.

Then passed from chimpanzees. Chasing monkeys and chimpanzees sometimes eat them.

A cimpanzei in the evolution,

and because we are able to 98.6% identical to chimpanzees, genetically speaking,

was possible to pass to humans.

And the first person who contacted AIDS installments of chimpanzee meat,

No tiat the deget and healthy.

Although, that's the excuse I would have found it and I ...

You have to come with an excuse when you go to the doctor, "I feel very sorry, Doctor."

"Nu m surprinde"

"E t om care Primula has contracted AIDS."

"Cum m-a fi cu ales pole?"

"DOUA posibiliti ..."

"Unu ..."

"I trgeai eg the spate unui cimpanzeu."

"Eu, unui cimpanzeu ...?"

"I trgeam unui cimpanzeu ..."

"n nici a cat on."

"When the o fi altfel Putuo iau growl?"

"Nu tion, tran ay cimpanzeu of meat and tea-ai tiat the deget ..."

"Aia!"

"Chestia ciopritul cu ..."

I bet that went straight into the jungle and found the chimp that.

"I Nenorocitule-ai dat AIDS."

"THI-AM gives ce?"

"I-ai dat AIDS."

"Thi-am dat a blowj*b."

"Am tine AIDS."

"Unde th eu i am Luat AIDS?"

"The lack maimue."

"I mnnc maimue naked."

"I missed the Ori, the gold-or trgeai."

"The mncam."

Give ...

The coolest thing I learned while working for AIDS charity fund

is that it is the best in the world and waving.

This is a really waving and published by Terrence Higgins Fund.

It was published at the university where I worked, in 1999.

i ..

It was adresat populaiei masculine homo,

that still does not protect, and who treated HIV risk like any other occasion.

Admit the existence of the virus, but not taking precautions and.

So this last demographic group was asked where the information enters harder.

On the front is a picture with you some bananas, and write the word "f***".

No ce Nu ting naked tion ...

In principle a plan with 10 points ...

with health tips for avoiding contracting HIV.

This is the title and the waves.

You will know that you have something good, when you say that's the title ...

Suntei pregtii?

"You know, you should not always do anal sex?"

Bine the E tiut, now?

Think of an old couple in the waiting room at the doctor.

Rsfoind principles Reader's Digest ...

and the Zice, "Ce and auction?"

"You know, you should not always do anal sex?"

"Vezi, Thi-am SPUS eu!"

In principle there are 10 suggestions ... alternative act.

I will read a few.

Numrul unu ...

It's real.

Numrul unu ...

"From what s naked ..." Mereu ncepe the fel, "From what s naked ..."

This puin subtil, nu forces you, give ...

Numrul unu ...

"De ce nu s v masturbai reciproc?"

Gndiiv the horn ...

"Am Noul Flutura , Larry."

"There Zice?"

"Pai s vedem ... You s FACEM a chiar acum."

"Without pulled back from now on.'s Number one ..."

"De ce nu s v masturbai reciproc?"

"Bine ..."

Number two ...

Mereu ncepe the fel, "From what s naked ..."

Number two ...

"Why not ejaculate on his back?"

It naturaleea with that said ...

As if such a prescription. "Why not add an onion ...?"

As if you go to the doctor,

"Buna ziua doctore, sunt homo, i am the relaie of mi-nu sound and team iau AIDS."

"This pot face?"

"Oh, ejaculate on his back!"

Number three ...

Number three ...

I read it all cunoscuilor, and laughed at number one and two,

and when I got to number three ...

Number three ...

"Why not ejaculate in his hair?"

Nu n Par ...

Nu n pair.

Back, for sure.

"Pe spate, you."

"Pe spate. Spate eg You."

"Unde Naib Thinta first you ass nurse? Naked!"

"Nu pe pair, nu!" Acolo! "

"Acolo!"

"I trust you, I put my shower cap."

Nu n Par ...

Number four ...

Never before or after, I found so useful term "eg." (For example) that in the next sentence.

Number four.

"De ce nu ncerci only ..."

Try ... Maybe people think that's a little more difficult, so it's phrased as a request.

Not neurosurgery, next, but put "try".

"De ce nu only ..."

"Why not try to ejaculate into a fruit ..."

" Eg. lubeni? "

As if, without the example of this, the world would be asked ...

"Ce fruct FEL Or nu, nu one ananas!"

"Ce fel of fruct?"

"Trebuie s fie never tans i, there FRUCT?"

- "Ce fel of fruct?" - "Lubeni".

"Mulumesc."

And so on a ...

I want to jump straight to number ten.

Because this may be the best phrase ever written.

i l includ pe Shakespeare, Dickens...

"The Office"...

Mulumesc.

Suntei pregtii?

Number ten ...

I think the guy who wrote those already struggling ...

I think he went to his chief and said:

"Am terminat, reu am gsesc Noua sound of it."

And his chief:
"Oh no, we need ten."

"Adevrat?"

"From there, it trebuie zece."

"Am a novelty."

"I Chiar trebuie zece."

"I ejaculated hair in fruit at all ..."

"We have ten, we need two rows of five."

"... Two rows of five, clearly."

"Bottom simetria place."

"Think back to another one, you have a half an hour."

"Intrm the tipar, ..."

She returned to her office where she devised and the tenth, a minute before six o'clock, I think.

Number ten.

Tot cu "De ce nu only ..."

Number ten.

Absolut adevrat. Gata?

"Why not ejaculai both out the window?"

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