Ricky Gervais: Out of England - The Stand-Up Special Page #6

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You wanna be that guy cool , or older type.

Luckily I went to a boys school where everyone else was ... idioi.

And one in particular was incredible.

IL chema David Beasley,

and do not know the term politically correct, but he was an a**hole.

Gareth character from The Office, is inspired by him. It's true.

So I can imagine you ... Yes, it was just like him ...

Mulumesc.

Aveam vreo 14 ani ...

And the guy came with all sorts of things to tell us, believe in all sorts of ... cretinism.

With confidence, gossip, rumors ...

He came once when I was about 14 years old, and said,

Unbelievable ...

"No t e Candi caught cannibals ..."

A major problem in Reading, where they are.

A ZIS "e t Candi caught cannibals ..."

"Ithi Arata poze porn ..."

"To have a erecie and meat to be more divided."

Ar funciona, adevrat?

They sit there, you cook the pot ...

Fleshy-THI fierbe You ipi "VA Roger M omori number ..."

When he was 15 or 16 years,

went on a vacation with parents

i pus a RAC intr-o cu bere Halba,

because I told him as a joke,

that a drunken crab goes on.

Bineneles Racul necat CA SA.

And when he came back from vacation to tell me ...

"Spui provided prostii, Gervais."

From necrezut ...

Him ..

Here's what he told us once.

I remember I was in biology class.

Enters and says, "I must tell you that ..."

You should not have!

After tell you, I'll Perform that we should not say that.

A zis ...

"Mother asear masturbate ..."

Continue ...

"Eram their la mine in camera ..."

"I was naked, with eyes closed and with the ear headphones, listening to music ..."

As we all know ...

Sting...

Do not ...

I do not know why I said that ...

No I never masturbated music by Sting, I ended discussion.

So stay like this, naked ... eyes closed and listening to music ...

i-a zis, "Am terminat ..."

"And when I opened my eyes, I saw that my mother was and leave you some tea and biscuits."

No need to tell us, right?

Why would I say such a thing?

But let's think about the situation ...

The ICA Gndii-va-sa.

So his mother climb stairs with tray in hand. "He likes tea and biscuiii ..."

"David ... Bun, IA SA Vad ..."

Oh, Doamne ...

The e prslea to meu ...

"Jucndu up to ca maimuic ..."

"A I could go and would not even know that I was here ..."

After ...

A I could put these at the head of the bed ...

" i-ar-maica c you know if the vzut stropindu-tot plague."

Think of you, like your mom to see you're masturbating.

Pet of the air fi i groaznic May.

Mom, close the door!

Mom, give me back the CD with Sting!

And told us funny coincidence, that and he was not involved.

It was true, and it appeared in a local publication.

It was about the guy ... we had 14, 15 years, and it was something extraordinary for us.

Type, I think it was 17,

and caused a scandal just because he was accused of lewd behavior.

i ce-a fcut the ...

A public toalet mers O i ...

has found one of those weird toilets with a hole in the side.

Glorious hole, as he was called.

Nu tiu the cine-a inventat.

Nu tiu cine gndit know, "you're in Ia to ..."

"Imi plac sculele, ursc feele or s or guric fac ..."

"Right here ... And enough of waiting until a dick ..."

and a aprut?!

How the hell you are spreading the rumor? Who invented them?

Film face spear i, "ASTA va funciona ..."

Sa dus cumva unul the Buddha i ...

"Oh, uite, and Gaura acolo."

"It's probably my dick, right?"

Da, this!

So he went to a public toilet

has been waiting there for hours in the string,

waiting for the next hole.

People enter and exit it ...

After all someone enters, the foie and get some time there is a tool ...

He or suggestions ...

What credeai that one to make?

Just because it went there.

To sing a song to her. No, he ...

A break with a nail and get out.

"And you bucuros acum ... and you terminat."

Deci supt ia-o ...

And when they exit it out ... was his father!

We had that in his head for 30 years now and I trii her.

All over the world paste teeth ...

Remove all teeth, and gums out.

Which one to spread rumors in town, however?

"Buna Jupiter, AM acas SAY."

"Ai-avut or zi buna, dragule?" "-Da, l-am vzut eg Tobey azi".

"-It SideA?" "SideA-bine tot ..."

Tell you a story before you go.

Are legtur Buddha cu ...

The first time we moved together, me and my friend about 20 years ago,

Our first apartment was horrible,

in the worst area of London, King's Cross.

Horrible ...

He was on the periphery, very depressing, but both afford.

We had one room with a kitchenette and all.

For our mental health, we moved the mattress next kitchenette.

And this looks like an apartment bedroom.

It has a horn ...

Night stay in a room about this big ...

The mattress came on time, had to push the next wall to fit.

Langa was chiar u , the cam 10 cm.

And lying in bed, I could open the fridge door.

The refrigerator was here, here and sink stove here.

I had no toilet.

Toilet was one common to all tenants and was two floors below.

What do you think could happen at midnight ...

when I passed small business?

SA-I pantalonii crates and are cobor ...

Or should I let go of the sink?

Obviously it. And remember Jane,

20 years ago, almost asleep,

saying, "At least remove the dishes before ..."

Not out. And to raise them to a party and as they make directly into the drain.

Thank you very much. Audiences have been fantastic.

Mulumesc.

Mulumesc.

Mulumesc.

Thank you very much.

Mulumesc.

Not much is required bis in other professions, really?

Dac e ti builder and do-Thi treaba perfect, "the revedere ..."

- "Wine napoi." - "There?"

- "Wine napoi!" - "From here ..."

Well that not everything had knocked pin ...

I mentioned earlier how I want to grow me,

i this adevrat.

i cred ca ...

The Internet is probably the greatest source of information of all time.

This extraordinar.

Online encyclopedia where you can enter ...

the change.

You can not do this in a library, you can not.

Iei or encyclopedias i ... "Ce faci acolo?"

"O modific a pic ..."

Face-te!

There are a lot of pages on internet

people and make their personal pages.

Like, "My name is Rupert, that's my cat, I like to listen to The Cure".

Who the hell cares?

And trivia pages where people put things they have learned ...

Of the kind that wake in the night with chills and think,

"I have to say it all: Chestnut is a nut, is a vegetable!"

But my favorites are random animals.

What is extraordinary.

This page is a net

NUMITOR "Lumea Cunoa o provides a atoned DEB & Jen's."

And I'd like to you're thinking to those who created it.

Itself not by chance, but who and what they did.

What were they thinking ...

Numrul unu ...

"Can you hand a cow to climb stairs, but not down and let them."

Thanks a lot.

M-am i th documentat and adevrat.

A cow can climb stairs, but can not due to lower joints.

But I was thinking the poor who found it on his skin.

"Two Daisy, coboara."

"I bare cobor scrile."

"Two."

"Nu, nu can articulaiile am ..."

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