Ripped Page #8

-No, no, no.

Your credit is no

longer an issue.

All you have to do is

go in, give your

little presentation and

you're all set.

I am so excited for you!

Me too!

Pow!

I love it when

Debbie gets excited.

Well that went well.

No the f*** it didn't!

She thinks we're opening

up a normal restaurant.

We are!

I gotta get her to cancel.

No! Whoa!

I can't have her sign

this sh*t under false pretenses.

Deb?

Debbie, I...

Hoo, I...

Oh my...

G-good god.

Um, d... Deb.

Debbie Deb Deb,

dooby dub da...

God damn, you

look fantastic.

I uh...

I.. I just gotta...

I just want to talk to

you about something real quick.

I t-tits, talk, toody,

tit-tot-tot-too-dot tits, talk.

Jesus Christ, I wanted to

tell you your tits have

dropped perfectly

over the years.

I, um...

I haven't seen, s...

These, or anything this...

Shade.

I was with Reeves for a

long time, and uh, this is

far better than I...

We really need to work

on your compliments.

Debbie?

Deb?

Debbie?

Oh for f***'s sakes.

Yo, where's Debbie?

You didn't tell

her, did you?

I tried

to, but she wanted to f***,

and I didn't want to be rude.

She showed up naked and i

showed up with a boner.

Well, she left you

a little message.

Sorry I can't be at

the bank with you.

Good luck today.

F***.

I gotta call her, dude.

And tell her what?

The truth.

The truth?

Look, you gonna

sabotage us.

I'm not trying to

sabotage, I mean, she put

up too much f***ing money.

Trust me.

Let me call

her real quick.

F***ing voicemail!

Good.

We gotta cancel

this meeting.

Listen, this

is all I have.

I sold my Van. I have nothing!

I don't want to f*** her

over, and I don't want to

f*** you over, you're

my best friend.

But we gotta tell somebody

the truth somewhere.

We gotta figure

something out.

Wait a minute.

I might have something.

There's this thing on

here called powerpoint.

With a few adjustments,

and some editing

cut-pastes...

Can I ask you something?

Hm?

How the f***'d you get

so good on the computer?

Mrs. hunt's typing class.

Damn, I should've

paid attention.

I kept staring at

Mrs. hunt's...

Legs.

I got it.

I really wish Debbie

would've called me back

this morning.

It's actually

better like this.

Once she sees we've turned

around these stiff types,

she'll be ready

to jump on board.

Shall we begin

the presentation?

Oh, we're not

ready just yet.

God, this chili

is god damn...

It's good!

You spiked it!

I put a little

product in it.

How much?

Enough to get the loan.

Yummy!

Can I have some more?

Oh, ye...

You, here, certainly can.

Oh, heh, thank you.

I-i see you gentlemen

have a loan guarantor,

Ms. Sanchez?

Uh, she can't be here

today, but she's ready to

sign the papers upon

the bank's approval?

Do we have any

bigger spoons?

Okay, time for

the presentation.

This is our

projected income.

Yep.

-These are beans...

-Uh, hold on. Go back a slide.

Hm?

Do you have any actual numbers

for your projected profit?

No.

But it will look like

this, the money.

-We'll stack it better.

-Yeah.

These are some of

the ingredients.

Mainly beans, tomatoes,

this is Greg, he's a cow,

-um, corn.

-Corn.

-Onions...

-Uh, whoa whoa whoa.

Uh, stop the clock, uh,

go back a slide or two.

-Hm? Hm? The, the corn?

-No,just one more, one more.

Greg.

Forward.

Go forward one slide.

-Hm? Th-this one?

-Back.

Back, back back back!

Uh, hm...

I'm sorry, is that...

Is that marijuana?

It's...

Legal cannabis?

Alright, can we get

the lights back on?

-No, no, no!

-Sir, sir!

Let me understand

something here.

You're gonna sell chili

that has marijuana in it?

Yes!

That's why it's

called the chili pot.

Chili.

Pot.

Chili pot.

Alright, I think

we can stop here.

A pot restaurant is not

the sort of establishment

that our bank can support.

It would be bad

for our image.

Actually, I was going

to address that.

Can we continue?

I really don't

see the point.

Please.

There's more chili.

Huh?

Please, there's

lots of it.

Okay, alright.

Alright, go for

it, go for it.

Just... that's

very full, alright.

Weed has been a part

of our history and our fabric.

When Washington was

crossing the Delaware, do

you think he was sober?

I mean, who stands

up in a boat?

A high man.

George Washington,

weed smoker.

Ben Franklin.

Do you think that "hey,

let's go fly a kite in the

middle of a storm"

was a sober idea?

That's where the term

"high as a kite" comes from.

Ah!

Ben Franklin, bong owner.

There's his supplier.

Cancer!

The big c.

Many people in

this town have it.

And are going to

die from it soon.

Shouldn't they have access

to something that's going

to make the time

pass slower?

Weed does that.

Picture thousands of

tombstones that read:

"My death was not quick,

thanks to pelican point bank."

Marijuana:
Gateway

drug, right?

Wrong!

Marijuana is a

gateway to pancakes.

Cinnabon.

Anything ending in -ito.

Fritos, doritos,

cheetos, burritos.

Hundreds of foods that may

not be palatable to the

normal tastebud.

But to somebody on

marijuana, delicious.

And they go out hunting

for it night after night.

Pelican point bank:

Economy stimulator.

Marijuana is not only

embraced by the outcast now.

It is mainstream.

Some former potheads and

current are doing very

well for themselves

right now.

Woody Harrelson.

Sean penn.

Snoop dogg.

I thought you

couldn't make it.

- My meeting got out early

-cheech & Chong.

Merle haggard.

Bill Clinton.

You didn't tell me it was

a marijuana restaurant.

What?

Barack Obama, the

commander in chief.

God bless this

conference room,

and god bless America.

Debbie!

Debbie!

I was gonna tell you.

When?

When were you

gonna tell me?

After I co-signed

the loan?

I, um...

I know this looks bad.

Oh my god.

You've been lying to

me this whole time.

I trusted you

around my son.

I don't know what to say.

How about "I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't realize

how my actions would

affect people."

How about this one?

"I'm sorry you found weed in

Brad's backpack this morning."

Yeah, I did.

-Listen...

-No, I'm done listening to you.

You're a f***ing

irresponsible man-child.

You suck me in, you make

me think I can live this

carefree day-to-day life,

but you forgot to tell me

the secret.

It only works if

you don't grow up.

But you wouldn't

realize that.

You didn't think that

through, because that

takes reflection.

You know what

really hurts?

I started to

believe in us again.

Hey!

-Hey.

-Did you get the loan?

No.

I left a note for

your mom inside.

W-wait, you're leaving?

Your mom found out

about the restaurant.

She's pissed.

Says we're bad

role models.

She said that?

She's right.

We're f***in' idiots.

And do yourself a favor

and stop hiding your weed

in your backpack.

She went through my stuff?

Are you kidding me?

God.

That's what the

note's about.

I told her the weed was

mine, that I put

it in there, you didn't know

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