Robin Hood: Men In Tights Page #3

He's deadly with his daggers.

Really? How's about a demonstration?

Gladly.

Fire an arrow...

...straight at my heart.

Are you serious?

Absolutely.

Goodbye.

What part of Georgia you from?

South Central?

I haven't quite figured

that part out yet.

I see.

I'm sorry about the toll thing, Robin.

It's Prince John.

He's taken our homes and everything

we own. We've nothing left.

Not to worry, Little John.

I'm planning to make trouble for

Prince John and Rottingham.

Tonight, I'll crash their party...

...to tell them I'll fight to rid

England of their tyranny!

Good! We'll join you!

Hear, hear!

I can't risk the lives of others.

One can get in more easily than six.

I must be off.

Fare thee well.

I'll see thee upon my return.

All right, man. Peace, bro.

Take it easy.

Man, white men can't jump.

- Here you are, son.

- Your ticket, sir.

Kill him!

No, wait!

You know, a mime...

...is a terrible thing to waste.

Let him go.

Good evening, lady.

Lovely!

Maid Marian...

...you know our good

Sheriff of Rottingham?

You look ravishing, my dear.

Please allow me to help you

to your seat.

I must say that Prince John has spared

no expense for tonight's party.

We have exotic foods from across

the seas. Coconuts, bananas...

...and dates.

Would you care for a date?

- Yes, thank you.

- How about next Thursday?

Good evening.

That's him! That's him!

That's Loxley!

Greetings, Your Highness.

Tref.

A present for you and your guests.

That's a wild boar!

No, no. That's a wild pig.

That's a wild bore.

Funny!

Very amusing!

So you're Robin of Loxley, huh?

I've heard so much about you.

And you are?

Maid Marian.

Maid Marian.

Rumours of your beauty have travelled

far and wide.

Yet I see they hardly do you justice.

What a smoothie!

He's definitely a smoothie.

Enough!

King illegal forest...

...to pig wild...

...kill in it a is...

What?

I mean, don't you know?

It is illegal to kill wild pig

in the king's forest!

Is it not also illegal

to sit in the king's throne...

...and usurp his power in his absence?

Careful, Robin! You go too far.

I've only just begun.

I'm warning you, if you don't stop

levying these taxes...

...l'll lead the people

in a revolt against you.

And why should the people

listen to you?

Because unlike some

other Robin Hoods...

...I can speak with an English accent.

To tell you the truth, this guy's

starting to get on my nerves!

Worry not, Your Highness.

I shall dispose of this

feathered upstart.

I challenge you to a duel.

I accept.

That's going to cost you, Loxley!

Please put it on my bill.

So it's come down to this, has it?

A fight to the death...

...mano a mano...

...man to man...

...just you and me and my...

...guards!

Check please, table one.

Hurry! Let's get out of here!

- Refreshment, sir?

- Thank you, Blinkin.

Sounds like we're winning, sir.

Indeed we are. Carry on.

Save me! Save me!

Hurt them! Hurt them!

Save them, save them!

Hurt you, hurt you! I've got it.

Care for some dessert?

Archers ready!

Fire!

Maid Marian!

Do you believe in

love at first sight?

Depends on what you're looking at.

Well?

To be continued.

Mein liebchen, I'm so glad

I found you.

This party's getting rough.

When I'm good, I'm good.

Don't let them get away!

Surround the hall!

Now you're talking!

I hope it's worth the noise!

We got him! We got him!

Right rope.

Look at this!

We went from royalty to recycling.

Would you get the door?

Yeah, I'll try.

It's been a wonderful party,

and we'd love to stay and all that...

...but I'm afraid we really must dash.

So ta-ta!

I sent word that each village should

send the very best men they have.

These are them.

We're in a lot of trouble.

Good people, who have travelled from

villages near and far...

...lend me your ears.

That's disgusting.

Hear me!

Men like Prince John and Rottingham

must be stopped!

Stopped from taxing us into poverty!

Stopped from taking what is ours!

If we stand up to them all together

as one, we can win the day!

We shall go on to the end.

We shall not flag or fail.

We shall fight on the seas and oceans.

We shall defend our isle,

whatever the cost may be.

We shall never surrender.

Then they shall say of us:

"Never have so many

owed so much to so few."

That was beautiful. What's going on?

They're asleep.

Hey, man.

Tough room.

Why don't you let me give it a try?

Look at yourselves.

Go on, take a look around.

People of Sherwood, you been had!

Hoodwinked!

Bamboozled.

Run amuck!

We didn't land on Sherwood Forest.

Sherwood Forest landed on us!

Very good.

They're all warmed up.

Brother Ahchoo is right.

And I say we fight back!

Are you with me?

Yea or nay?

Which one means yes?

Yea.

Grab your uniforms and equipment

and prepare for the training sequence.

All right, gentlemen,

grab your feathered caps, shotguns...

...bodkins, boots...

...swords...

...quivers...

...and pantyhose!

Now, men, the object of this exercise

is to hit the target.

Now, men...

...keep your eye on Will,

and do exactly as he does.

Very good! Well done!

- All right!

- Right, Will!

That's not hard.

- We could do that.

- Piece of cake.

Good boy.

Ready, men?

Charge!

Man!

Rob, man, maybe we should take

the dummies into battle.

I must speak with you.

What are you smelling?

These aren't my bubbles.

They're from the pipes.

Your Majesty, I have terrible news.

Strucky has loxed again.

What?

Loxley has struck again.

I'm gonna need some privacy,

so you guys can blow.

Not blow.

Blow!

I'm so depressed.

Come with me. I'll show you something

that will make you very happy.

Fetch the royal robe!

Your Majesty...

...stop me if I'm wrong about this,

but wasn't your mole...

...on the other side?

I have a mole?

What is it?

It's what we've named

a Stealth Catapult.

We've been working on it secretly

for months.

It can hurl one of these

heavy boulders undetected...

...over 100 yards, completely

destroying anything it hits.

- How does it work?

- It's quite simple.

Take a heavy rock. Put it where

I'm sitting. Then pull that lever.

You mean like this?

Oh, dear Lord...

...if you see fit to send me

my one true love...

Thank you!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, you're here!

Let me work magic on you.

Kiss me! Kiss me! Touch me!

My back!

I've got a headache.

Where are you going? Oh, bugger!

I was that close.

I touched it.

I don't like the way you're walking.

You've been into

the sacramental wine again.

You're fahsnickered!

You drunken mule, you.

Whoa, Morris! Whoa!

Halt there, friend.

You've just entered the territory

of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

Feygeles?

We're straight, just merry.

And who might you be with

the long feather in your hat?

I am Robin of Loxley.

Robin of Loxley?

I've just come from Maid Marian,

the lady whose heart you stole.

You prince of thieves, you.

I knew her parents before

they were taken in the plague...

...Lord and Lady Bagelle.

You and Maid Marian were meant

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