Role Models Page #8
That guy's black.
Right there.
You sit down,
young man.
You have
been a bad boy!
I've been bad.
And now you're gonna
have to stay after class.
Oh, man. Look.
Even though this is one of my top
four all-time fantasies, I can't, okay?
I want to, but I gotta
go find my friend.
Oh, yeah?
You sure?
Oh, my God.
Do what you need to do.
He'll be fine.
He's 10. Come here.
Let's go.
Uh-oh!
This is how it ends.
Game winner! I win!
Let's go, Michael.
Man, forget you, man.
That's booty, son.
Let's go. I'm ready.
They don't call me the king
of this game for nothing!
Wheeler, where you at?
Wheeler? Wheeler. Wheeler.
Wheeler.
So, Danny, you must be glad
that you're almost done
with your required
time with Augie.
How much time
do you have left?
Eleven, 12 hours or so.
Jeez, Augie. You're acting
like your goldfish died.
I don't have a goldfish, Jim.
You know what I mean.
You're acting like as if you
had a goldfish and it died.
Augie kind of got
screwed over today.
I killed the king, Mom.
Okay.
He killed the king.
All right. All right. Don't
encourage him. He did kill the king.
But he was lying to everyone and
told everyone that he killed me.
I don't wanna hear any more
about your Dungeons & Dragons
It's all fairyland
with him.
We're trying to keep it...
We're trying to keep it real.
The Goddess of Navalore
saw me cry, Mom.
Hey, Augie, when I was a
little kid, I accidentally
crapped my pants
in front of a girl I liked,
so I feel your pain.
Well, he likes girls. That's a
good thing. That's a surprise to me.
Doesn't matter anyway.
He got me kicked out.
What?
What? You're kidding me.
They can kick you out?
Yeah, I'm banned.
This is a great thing.
Way to go, big guy.
Does this mean
we can finally get rid
of those boots
and that God-awful cape that you made
out of my tablecloth? I'm so sick of this.
I'll burn them up in a...
We'll have a bonfire.
We'll make a thing of it.
Don't you want him to wear
what makes him happy?
Yes. Yes, I do.
Yes.
You know when I want him to
wear what makes him happy?
On October 31st.
Halloween, go nuts.
Wear lipstick.
I don't care.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, dress like a nun.
Sure.
We're gonna have
a celebration
to celebrate you joining
the rest of the world.
Becoming a normal kid.
He is a normal kid.
You think he's normal?
Yeah, I think he's normal.
You think he's normal.
He's normal.
When I was his age,
I had four, five girlfriends at
one time. Didn't I tell you that?
He was f***ing
his cousin.
I wasn't f***ing
my cousin. I...
We kissed, because I didn't
know she was my cousin,
but when I found out, I stopped
kissing her, but I f***ed her friends.
I f***ed my
cousin's friends.
I think that Augie is just having
kind of a tough time in life,
to me. Life is tough.
It is tough. But you know
what? This is my point.
It's tougher when you...
With parents like you?
Excuse me?
What did you just say?
I said it is tough, but I think
it's tougher with parents like you.
I thought that's
what you just said.
I don't know
how you do it, kid.
I mean, I thought my life sucked.
Jesus Christ, I really feel for you.
Okay. That's enough.
Don't listen to
them, all right?
Do what makes you happy. You
want to wear a cape? Wear a cape.
You want to wear a suit
of armor? Who gives a sh*t?
You know what? I would never
have invited you over for moussaka
if I'd known you were gonna
be such a prick. Excuse me.
Augie, screw them.
Do what makes you happy.
Hey. Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Do what
makes you happy. Hey, buddy...
I'd like you to
leave now, please.
I figure you're probably
not gonna sign my
hours sheet now.
Go f*** yourself.
That's what I thought.
Hey, Augie, I'm sorry.
Get the hell out.
I'd be psyched if he was my kid. Please.
And you know what,
sweetheart?
It's not that we're not
psyched that you're our kid.
We're psyched. I'm so
psyched, I can't stand it.
Your mom's psyched
that you're her kid.
May I please
be excused, Mom?
Hey. Where's Ronnie?
Who's Ronnie, dude?
Oh, sh*t. Ronnie!
Ronnie.
What's up, man?
Hey. How you doing?
Ro-Ro.
Anybody see the
little kid I was with?
This is Karen,
Ronnie's mother.
Ronnie was supposed to be
home a few hours ago.
This is Karen again.
Can you guys please call me
and let me know where you are?
Ronnie just got in. He walked
all the way home. What the hell...
You're out.
Look...
You're out.
Look...
No, no, no, no. It's over.
You blew it. It's done. Okay?
I hear what you're saying. We're
very sorry, but we're 11 hours short.
And you're gonna stay 11 hours
short, okay? I don't know.
Parents don't want you hanging around
with their kids for some reason.
So you BSed a BSer.
Good for you! I hope you feel
good about yourself, God damn it!
You know, I could be
back in New York
doing cocaine in the
Village, but I'm not.
You know why?
Kids come first.
They don't come
first for you, do they?
They come second
to your selfishness.
So why don't you
two guys go home,
put down some lines
of selfishness,
which is your blow,
close the shades, take
the phone off the hook,
grab a straw and snort?
And don't expect me
to testify on your behalf.
You're not Sturdy Wings
material.
I think you guys are gonna
have to go to jail.
The only thing we can do now
is make a case at the hearing
that you did your best.
It's gonna take some serious
lawyering on my part.
Yeah. Beth, please.
Lawyer the sh*t out of it.
I just can't promise
anything.
Yes, Wheeler?
Question.
Maybe a stupid one, but
I'm just spit-balling here.
The Get Out of Jail Free
card,
is that based on
something that exists or...
That wasn't
a stupid question.
That's real.
It's real in the
game of Monopoly.
Yeah, it's based
on true events.
How... What do you mean?
Chance.
I can't believe
we're going to jail.
Believe it.
Hey, maybe you'll
roll doubles. You know?
If not, you just
miss three turns.
Game face, bro.
I told you.
Game face.
Enough with the
game face, all right?
This isn't beach volleyball.
Is it not? Because,
the net is like your goals
in life, and you are the ball.
And you can spike the ball
down, or you, over the net.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Then you go into sidelines.
It's bad enough
I'm going to jail.
I can't take it anymore
with you yapping away.
Yap, yap, yip, yip.
"Bang your drum, bro. "
Maybe I should be like you.
"I hate myself, yet I'm
better than everyone. "
You're one to talk. You
took a 10-year-old to a party
and left him so you
could go get a blow job.
Hey.
It wasn't a blow job.
We f***ed.
Please! Watch
your language!
Sorry.
Sorry.
You are an
S- H-I-T-T-Y friend.
He can spell.
I'm not your friend.
Oh.
You wanna go?
Stop it!
There you go, Danny.
Now you got no friends.
Sorry.
Hello?
Hey, Ro-Ro. It's Wheeler.
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"Role Models" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/role_models_17110>.
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