Romeo and Juliet Page #4

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Alas, poor Romeo,

he's already dead.

Why? Who and what is Tybalt,

that he should be so sure

of victory?

More than a prince of cats,

I tell you now.

He fights like a music player,

all precision,

and keeps his time

and distance perfect play.

With one and two and three,

and in your chest.

He's a gentleman

and duelist,

and none who fight him

live to tell the tale.

Ah, gentlemen. I hope you've

helped to cover my tracks.

Where did you vanish to

last night?

You gave us both the slip

most prettily.

Pardon, Mercutio,

I was much taken up.

At such a time a man

may lose his grace.

And more besides.

Nay, we forgive you,

for you are Romeo again.

Is this not better now

than groaning still for love?

Now you are sociable.

Great love will make us

only into fools.

Stop there.

Romeo, there's a letter

come for you.

I fear it is a challenge

from Count Tybalt,

which will not brook

delay in your reply.

- You could soothe his rage...

- Excuse me, both, I prithee.

Cousin?

Where are you going?

Romeo! This heavy matter

cannot be ignored!

Good sir,

I desire some talk with you.

What tired

old bawd is this?

And who is he that wears

the hated coat of Capulet?

Go to. I would walk

a while with her.

Will we see you

at your father's dinner?

Of course. I'll be there.

(MERCUTIO GROWLS)

(LAUGHS)

NURSE:

Why was the man so rude?

That liked to use

his tongue to flay

and wound

a poor old woman?

He is much enamored by

the sound of his own voice.

And you stand by

and suffer such a knave

to use me

at his pleasure?

If I knew any man

to use you for his pleasure,

my weapon will be

quickly out, I swear.

Now, before God, I'm so vexed

every part about me quivers.

So, to the business.

- My young lady, Juliet...

- What of her?

She bade me seek you out

and say...

First, if you should

do double with her,

you will have me

to answer to.

- Nurse, I do protest.

- I'll tell her.

Just listen.

She must gain

her mother's word

to make confession

later on today.

Let her but come

to Father Laurence's cell.

There she will be absolved

and married, too.

This afternoon, a bride?

Farewell, be trusty

and commend me to your mistress.

I... There's one thing more.

What is it?

There is a nobleman

in town, one Paris,

who plans to marry

and lie with her.

- And does she like him?

- Never!

She would as soon have lain

with a stinking toad.

Her thoughts are all with you,

as I have taunted her.

- But you should know of him.

- And so I do.

- And now commend me to my lady.

- I will.

A thousand times.

Why, my darling Nurse,

what news?

- Tell me you found him.

- NURSE:
Oh...

Oh! Oh...

Good, sweet Nurse...

- (WEARY SIGH)

- Oh, Lord, you look so sad.

Whatever news your bring,

cast off your gloom,

and if your tale be glad,

then do not punish me

by wearing such

a mask of tragedy.

I'm so weary,

let me rest awhile.

Oh, my bones ache

after the day I've had.

I would exchange my bones

for all your news.

Please speak, I pray you.

Dear sweet Nurse, do tell.

What's the rush?

A minute's patience, please!

Can you not see

I'm out of breath?

Are you out of breath when you

have breath to say to me

that you are out of breath?

Is your news good or bad?

Just answer that. Say either

and I'll wait to hear the rest.

Let me just know

if it is good or bad.

(SIGHS) Well...

...I must say

you have good taste in men.

That Romeo's face

is handsome as the dawn.

His body...

...figure, leg, foot

excel against the finest.

His manners might improve,

but there is time.

Now... have you dined already?

Not yet.

But Nurse, I knew

all this before.

What says he of our marriage?

What of that?

Lord, how my head aches.

Oh, what a head I have.

It throbs as it would

break in 20 bits.

And my back,

my back is killing me!

It's all your fault

for sending me to town.

In future,

take your messages yourself.

In mercy, pity me!

What says my Romeo?

Can you have leave today,

to make confession?

I could.

Then, go you from here

to Father Laurence's cell...

...you'll find a husband...

...keen to make you wife.

(KISSES)

- But not until

you've had a bath.

- (BOTH LAUGH)

I pray the heavens

smile upon this act,

and do not punish us

with later sorrow.

Amen.

But come what sorrow can,

it cannot countervail

the exchange of joy

that one short minute

gives me in her sight.

Do thou but close our hands

with holy words...

...then love, devouring death,

do what he dare,

it is enough

that I can call her mine.

These violent passions

can have violent ends.

And blaze up like gunpowder,

in their fiery glory,

consuming themselves

and others.

The sweetest honey

sickens when over-ate,

defeating its own delight.

Therefore, be moderate.

Long-lasting love must be.

Love too fast can prove falser

than love too slow.

Good evening

to my dearest confessor.

Romeo gives thanks

to see you here.

I owe those thanks to him

with all my heart.

Oh, Juliet, if your heart,

like mine, is full

and you have greater

skill than I to speak,

then tell the joy

that waits us both this night.

I cannot tell of

what is limitless.

They are but beggars

who can count their worth.

Enough of love talk.

Come along with me.

For we will make short work

of binding oaths,

and holy church

shall join two into one.

FRIAR LAURENCE:
Romeo...

(SPEAKS LATIN)

(RESPONDS IN LATIN)

Juliet...

(SPEAKS LATIN)

(RESPONDS IN LATIN)

(CONTINUES IN LATIN)

(SNIFFLING)

Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

(HORSE NEIGHS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(GRUNTS)

NURSE:
Juliet.

My lady Juliet.

Scarcely were you both gone

and on your way,

a messenger

from Lord Capulet arrived.

Your cousin Tybalt

has set forth in such a rage.

There's trouble in the offing.

Your father bids you hurry back.

I will.

Nurse, you go with her.

See her safely home.

Till tonight.

Which is a year away.

Only a year?

(CHUCKLES) You do not

love me, then?

I pray you, good Mercutio,

let's go. The Capulets are out.

You are like the man

who snatches off his sword,

on a tavern's table,

lays it down forthwith

and vows to have

no need of it.

Till, with the second beer,

he takes it up

and runs his host

right through.

Am I like

such a fellow?

You know you are

as hot a Jack today

as any to be found

in Italy.

Your mood as moody

as a b*tch on heat.

Is it so?

Why, you'd quarrel with

a man for cracking nuts,

for the insult given

to your hazel eyes.

I've seen you

quarrel with a man

for coughing in the street

because he woke your dog.

And if I did, I'm still less

quick to find a fight than you.

(DISTANT WHISTLING)

By heaven,

here come the Capulets.

And do I care?

Wait over here,

and I will speak with them.

Good morrow, gentlemen.

A word with one of you.

MERCUTIO:
A single word

with one of us?

Let's couple it with something.

Maybe a word and a blow?

You'll find me good at that,

Mercutio,

if you'll give me

the chance.

Can you not take the chance,

or must it be given?

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