Ronal Barbaren Page #3

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- We're looking for a guide.

There is only one left. Down by the

bathroom. Ask for Elric.

Hey, who ordered a pint

and a double Manhattan?

Okay. Thanks.

Uh, hey. Uh, are you Elric?

The voice of the wind

lights the evening sun's embrace.

Stellar Children,

great Mother Sun now rests.

The darkness comes as a

pensive sigh.

I sensed you would come. We

elves are connected with all living things.

Let our souls meet.

You bear the dreams of an eagle

and the will of a mouse.

Mighty blood dwells in your heart.

Kormamin lindua ka'elja.

Yes, that sounds exciting. My name is

Ronal, and I have some place...

Names have no meaning.

- I need...

- Spiritual or physical guidance?

We need to find Efland.

The wind's voice shall tell me,

whether I should help you. Stand still!

Let me penetrate your aura.

Kormamin lindua ka'elja.

Kormamin lindua...

The wind says, I shall follow you.

My bow will sing with your sword.

Okay...

Damn.

- Hey, I found him.

- My bow will sing with your sword.

Yes. Come, let's get out of here.

Hey, shield maiden, you're leaving already?

What do you say to a little dance?

Hey, guys, sorry,

we were just leaving.

- I accept your challenge.

- What?

He must defeat me or die.

- We shouldn't create any problems.

- He challenged me.

You promised. In and out, without fighting.

Okay. So, you take care of it yourself.

Hey, shield maiden, what's it going to be?

Listen...

Friend, I know,

it's super cool to fight, -

- but we're in a bit of a hurry, and there

are probably plenty of others here who would fight, -

- so if it's okay with you,

I think we'll just leave.

- Sandra!

- Not supposed to fight.

That'll make a nice soup base.

Learn to ride!

Have you seen this before?

I can teach you to play it.

Does it make you horny?

I sense

much aggression in the room.

Any last words, chump?

- He's dead.

- What the hell?

I'm going to make you pay

for throwing up on me.

- Now you're going to get a new a**hole.

- That's enough. Let him be.

Black Riders.

Son of Crane! Son of Crane!

- Take him!

- No! Help!

Sandra!

Nobody stands up to Prince

Volcazar's riders and lives!

It's going to explode!

Move!

Hey! Who is it that ordered

the double Manhattan?

Ouch, my ass!

110% ALCOHOL

Goddamn!

Fabulous, my lord. One more shot,

and then you've beaten the record.

But we have to find the last

Son of Crane before the next full moon.

- You're ruining my concentration.

- I'm sorry.

- Hello?

- He escaped, sir.

The task is more difficult than we thought.

He has the help of a strong warrior.

We'll need reinforcements.

I will not tolerate any more failures!

Bring them to me. Both of them.

Do you know where we are?

It seems like we're going in circles.

The wind speaks to my soul.

We will soon be in the elvish realm.

You said that two days ago.

We're lost, damn it.

We're going to die of thirst.

- Ha.

- What's so funny?

I have heard that barbarians are strong and

quick to fight, but you're neither.

You just b*tch and whine.

It's really funny when you consider

the heritage you come from.

Why are you with us

if you think all I do is whine?

- What's your deal with the barbarians?

- None of your business.

Stop! See.

- And that means...?

- We elves can communicate with everything.

I will unite myself with its soul

and get it to show us the way.

Kormamin lindua ka'elja.

Kormamin lindua...

Ouch! My beautiful elf lip!

There. On the other side. There is no

labyrinth on the other side.

The entrance to Efland.

I did it.

Elf gate, I greet you.

You didn't know it was here?

- Oh! Wild!

- Come on.

Stop! First, our souls are weighed

by the Gate Keepers.

Only those with the right character

may be allowed to go through.

What about those

who do not have the right character?

Who? Well.

They are crushed by the rock wall.

- Well, shall we go?

- I can't.

- What?

- I'm a miserable barbarian.

I don't have

the right character.

- You've misunderstood the meaning.

- Forget it. We'll go around.

When you're on a quest,

follow the guide.

The only thing we get out of that,

is being killed.

But now you call it a quest,

so, remember that it is my quest.

And I've decided that we go around

this ridiculous gate. Come on!

See. No booby traps, no gates,

nothing.

This quest-nonsense is so predictable.

If you just think a bit outside...

- Ouch, my tailbone, man.

- What the hell was that?

We have offended the Gate Keepers.

I sense...

...great danger!

Run!

Faster!

Ronal!

Come!

Ouch, man.

Fool! Your stupid idea almost

got us all killed.

I just tried

to steer us away from trouble.

You tried? Well, "trying"

isn't good enough, Ronal.

On any quest

there's bound to be problems.

Solve them instead of going around.

There's the Temple of the Elves.

The focal point

of all wisdom in the world.

The Book of Wisdom lies

in the tower's upper chamber -

- so the moon can read

on his voyage across the night sky.

It is the holiest of holy books.

- Fair enough. So we'll just go on up and grab it.

- Quiet!

Look.

No one from the outside is allowed in. The King's

archers have eyes like hawks.

- Sh*t.

- They kill everything they see.

So we'll have to do it the hard way.

I'll take these two.

No.

- I'll do it.

- What?

Alone.

Think about it. They'll kill you,

as soon as they see you.

I know, -

they're not going to see me.

There isn't much left

and I'm the smallest. Wait here.

I could have used

that in high school.

How do I look? Invisible, right?

- What?

- You missed a spot.

F***! It's empty.

F***, so typical.

Relax, Ronal. They're small dumplings,

nobody will notice.

- Wait here.

- Good luck, Ronal. Don't get killed.

Ouch!

"I have a headache," "I'm tired"

"The kids will wake up!", and blah, blah, blah.

Having such a wife is a bummer,

man.

B*tch!

Ouch!

Who's there?

Hmm, nothing there.

- Where were we? Are you ready for this Saturday?

- Are you crazy? I was born ready!

- Hell yeah!

- I must be a crazy psycho!

That's open.

Ouch!

F***, I'm in bad shape.

Oh!

Ah!

Cursed rats!

Oh!

Wow. There it is.

So where is it?

Sword of Crane, -

- Sword of Crane,

how the hell do I find the Sword of Crane?

There it is.

The Sword of Crane.

Well, that was easy enough.

It's like no one

can see me.

- A killer rat!

- Kill the rat!

Use the poisoned arrows.

After it!

Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!

Faster!

Shoot it down!

- Ow, damn it!

- Yes! The pig is down!

Well, how much

are you going to drink?

- Nothing. I'll smoke instead.

- Did you get Elrond's mother's weed?

Ouch.

The page says that Crane was

buried in the Eternal Mountain.

My elfin soul feels,

that it is far, far away...

Isn't that it right there?

...that it is nearby.

Destiny is on our side.

Ouch.

No more.

- I was wrong about you.

- What?

There in the temple. You did it.

Yes, more or less in any case.

You make the barbarians proud.

Uh. Thanks.

Well, um... I have to

polish my axe.

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