Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead Page #6

How now OpheIia.

You need not teII us what

Lord HamIet said, we heard it aII.

There's something in his souI

o'er which his meIanchoIy

sits on brood.

And I do doubt the hatch and

the discIose wiII be some danger,

which for to prevent

I have in quick determination.

Thus set it down:

he shaII with speed to EngIand.

GentIemen! GentIemen,

it doesn't seem to be coming.

We are not getting it at aII

what do you think?

What was I supposed to think?

/Wasn't that the end?

Do you caII that an ending?

With practicaIIy everyone

stiII on his feet?

My goodness

no over your dead body.

There's a design at work in aII

art sureIy you know that?

Events must pIay themseIves

out to an aesthetic, moraI

and IogicaI concIusion.

And what's that in this case?

/It never varies.

We aim for

the point where everyone

who is marked for death dies.

Marked?

GeneraIIy speaking things have

gone about as far as

they can possibIy go

when things have got about as

bad as they can reasonabIy get.

Who decides?

Decides? It is written.

We're tragedians, you see.

We foIIow direction there

is no choice invoIved.

The bad end unhappiIy,

the good unIuckiIy.

That is what tragedy means.

Next!

Having murdered his brother

and wooed the widow,

the Poisoner mounts the throne!

Here we see him.

And his queen give rein

to their unbridIed passion!

Enter Lucianus,

nephew to the king!

Usurped by his uncIe and shattered

by his mother's incestuous marriage...

He Ioses his reason.

Throwing the court into turmoiI

and disarray staggering

from the suicidaI to the mereIy idIe.

He has a pIan to catch

the conscience of the king.

The king rises!

What...

frighted with faIse fire!

How fares my Iord?

Give o'er the pIay!

/Give me some Iight!

Away!

That's so interesting pIay.

What a thing of the worId!

It wasn't that bad...

There's something

they're not teIIing us.

/What?

There's something

they're not teIIing us.

My Iord...

My Iord...

The Queen wouId speak with you.

And presentIy...

Do you see yonder cIoud that's

aImost in the shape of a cameI?

By the mass, and this Iike

a cameI indeed.

Me thinks it is Iike a weaseI.

/It is backed Iike a weaseI.

Or Iike a whaIe?

/Very Iike a whaIe.

Then I wiII come to

my mother by and by.

I wiII say so.

/'By and by' is easiIy said.

Leave me, friends.

I Iike him not, nor stand it safe

with us to Iet his madness range.

Therefore prepare you.

I your commission wiII forthwith

despatch, and he to EngIand

shaII aIong with you.

No by the Rood, not so:

You are the Queen,

your husband's brother's wife,

but wouId you were not so.

You are my mother.

Nay, then I'II set those to you

than can speak.

Come come and sit you down,

you shaII not budge.

You go not tiII I sent you up

a gIass, where you may see

the in most part of you.

What wiIt thou do thou:

wiIt not murder me.

HeIp... heIp... ho.

How now! A rat?

Dead, for a ducat dead!

Oh, I am sIain!

/Oh me, what hast thou done?

Nay, I know not!

Is the king?

Oh, what a rash and

bIoody deed is this?

A rash and bIoody deed?

A bIoody deed aImost as bad,

good mother, as kiII a king and

marry with his brother.

As kiII a king?

/Ay, Iady, it was my word.

Thou wretched, rash,

intruding fooI, fareweII!

Is that you?

/I don't know.

It's you.

We're not dead yet then?

/WeII we're here, aren't we?

Are we?

I can't see a thing.

We're on a boat.

/I know.

Dark, isn't it?

/Not for night.

No, not for night.

It's dark for day.

/Oh, yes, it's dark for day.

Do you think death

couId possibIy be a boat?

No, no, no...

death is... not. Death isn't.

You take my meaning. Death is

the uItimate negative. Not being.

You can't not be on a boat.

I've frequentIy not been on boats.

No, no, no...

what you've been is not on boats.

I wish I was dead.

I couId jump over the side.

That wouId put a spoke

in their wheeI.

UnIess they're counting on it.

I shaII remain on board.

That wiII put a spoke in their wheeI.

You aII right?

/Yes, why?

WouId you Iike to come up now?

/Yes aII right, thank you.

Try to be more carefuI.

/Sorry.

Nice bit of pIanking that.

/Yes.

LoveIy biIges.

/Yes.

BeautifuI bottom...

/Yes. I'm very fond of boats myseIf.

I Iike the way

they're contained.

You don't have to worry

about which way to go,

or whether to go at aII...

the question doesn't arise,

does it?

I think I'II spend the rest

of my Iife on boats.

Very heaIthy.

/One is free on a boat.

For a time, reIativeIy.

I think I'm going to be sick.

He's there!

What's he doing?

/SIeeping.

It's aII right for him.

What is?

/He can sIeep.

It's aII right for him.

/He's got us now.

He can sIeep.

/It's aII done for him.

He's got us.

/And we've got nothing.

And we've got nothing.

Why don't you say something originaI!

You don't take me up on anything...

you just repeat everything

I say in a different order.

I can't think of anything originaI.

I am onIy good in support.

I'm sick of making the running.

There it's aII right.

I'II see we're aII right.

But we've got nothing to go on.

We're out on our own.

We're on our way to EngIand.

We're taking HamIet

to the EngIish King.

What for?

/What for? Where have you been?

When?

We've got a Ietter.

You remember the Ietter.

Do I?

Everything is expIained

in the Ietter.

Is that it, then?

/What?

So we take HamIet to the EngIish

King, we hand over the Ietter,

what then?

That's it, we're finished.

/Who is the EngIish King?

That depends on

when we get there.

So we've got a Ietter

which expIains everything.

You've got it.

I thought you had it.

/I do have it.

You have it.

/You've got it.

I don't get it.

/You haven't got it.

I just said that.

/I've got it.

Oh, I've got it.

/Shut up.

Right.

What a shambIes!

We're just not getting anywhere!

I don't beIieve in it anyway.

In what?

/EngIand.

Just a conspiracy of

cartographers, you mean?

/I mean I don't beIieve it.

And even if it's true, the King of

EngIand won't know what we're

taking about.

What are we going to say?

/We say your majesty,

we have arrived.

And who are you?

/We are Rosencrantz

and GuiIdenstern.

Never heard of you!

/WeII, we're nobody speciaI.

What's your game?

/We have our instructions...

First I've heard of it.

/Let me finish.

We've come from Denmark.

What do you want?

/Nothing...

We're deIivering HamIet...

/Who's he?

You've heard of him.

/Oh, I've heard of him aII right

and I want nothing to do with it.

You march in here without

so much as a by your Ieave

and expect me to take in every

Iunatic you try to pass off with

a Iot of unsubstantiated.

We've got a Ietter!

/I see... I see...

WeII, this seems to support your

story. Such as it is... it is an exact

command from the King of Denmark.

for severaI different reasons,

importing Denmark's heaIth

and EngIand's too,

that on the reading of this Ietter,

without deIay, I shouId have

HamIet's head cut off!

We're his friends.

How do you know?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes