Rough Night Page #10

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I'll leave you alone from now on.

Alice.

Alice.

Jess, that was really harsh.

Oh, my God, I can't.

I can't with the guilt. Please.

I can't with any of this anymore.

Jess, come on, dude.

No. All we have done all night

is make this situation worse, okay?

We are turning ourselves in

and that's the end.

Now, I'm going upstairs

to wipe this sh*t off my face,

so I can at least look

cute for my mug shot.

And self-waxing is not weird.

I don't appreciate

your body-hair-removal shaming.

Shame on you! And you!

You've been fine.

Did you hear that? What is that?

- What is that?

- Where is it?

Where's it coming from?

- Not these pillows.

- Aw, f***. No.

F***, it's his phone.

- Someone is looking for this guy.

- Oh, my God.

- Turn it off.

- I'm trying!

- What's going on?

- Stop! Oh, my God.

Someone is trying to track the stripper's

phone and it looks like they're...

Here.

- Hello?

- Miami PD.

Have you seen this man?

Oh, sh*t.

We tracked his phone to this house.

We know he's in there.

It's over.

The jig is up.

Hey.

He's dead.

And I don't want ya

And I don't need ya

Hey, you, what do ya see?

Something beautiful

Or something free?

You ladies are lucky.

This man is very dangerous.

This guy robbed a jewelry store

and killed a security guard.

- Lot of people looking for him.

- Oh, my God. What?

Mmm-hmm. Yeah. He was on the run.

Probably came here looking for cover.

Sir, I'm... I'm sorry.

Um, foreigner here. Just sort of

want to be clear on the local law.

So, are we

sort of, like, no longer in trouble?

Sounds like self-defense to me, right?

Oh, yeah,

no, DA's not gonna want to

press any charges on something like this.

You're good.

- Oh, my God.

- No, you're kidding.

- Oh, my God!

- Are you shitting me?

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!

We're heroes! We're heroes.

We're American heroes.

- Thank you, universe.

- Jesus!

We killed a guy! And it was right!

We were right to kill him!

F***, yeah!

Jess.

Hey, Jess. We're not going to jail.

I still might be, for unrelated things,

but you're not, you're safe.

Jess?

You should've seen us at the beginning.

We were like Squabble City.

We didn't like each other.

Now I can't get her away from me.

And I don't want to.

Did he happen to mention the diamonds?

Um, no, I think I would have

remembered that.

He didn't say much of anything.

Ladies, it's... It's really important

that you try to remember any details.

He was cis male.

Looked like he could, like,

wash his car as a hobby activity.

- Okay.

- Oh, and he did have

this, like, deep "V."

Sort of like two large snakes

pointing down to a penis.

This is a big house.

Any place he might've been

able to stash something?

Well, we did clean the entire house

and never came across his coat or phone,

so it's definitely a possibility.

Tampon!

- What?

- Blair.

- What?

- I need a tampon.

I thought you use David cups.

- Yeah.

- No, never.

F*** off. Only tampons,

the best of tampons!

You took them from us.

- What?

- And locked them in there,

- and you have the key.

- What are you talking about?

I didn't lock away our tampons.

I locked away our...

Uh...

Are we on the same page, Blair?

- Yes.

- Yo, yo.

Lady, you want to get your

friend a tampon or whatever?

Okay. One tampon coming up.

Okay...

Just be right back with that.

Well, I'm not on my period.

It's good to know. Thanks.

Key.

Sh*t. Sh*t.

Shh...

Quiet, be quiet, be quiet.

I just need to get my phone, okay?

- What the f*** is that?

- What's that?

Nothing. It's... I don't know.

- What the f*** was that?

- This guy, it's another thing.

- There's more people here?

- The real stripper.

- Yeah. That's the real stripper in there.

- The actual guy...

- I just need to get to my phone.

- Get back! Get back!

- I will not be your drug mule!

- What? Shh! Stop. Stop. Stop.

- You better get back. Yeah.

- Stop. Shh!

Breaking news and

some updated information for everybody.

These assailants are armed

and they're dangerous.

No, it's nothing, that's...

So if you're inside your home,

make sure your windows

and your doors are locked.

- Hey, Blondie! Come here!

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Shh.

- Oh, the tampon.

- Yeah, I know.

That's what I was... I was using the code.

- I just want to get my real estate license!

- Shut up.

Freeze!

Shut the f*** up! Don't move!

What the hell's going on here? Come on.

Let's go, move it. Let's go, tough guy.

Everyone in America really does have a gun!

Let's go! Come on.

You, too. Move it.

- Oh, my God.

- Playtime's over.

- We want those f***ing diamonds now.

- Look.

I know you're mad at the 1%.

- I am, too.

- What? Shut up!

- Tie them up now.

- Let's go!

Jess,

when I was growing up,

I didn't really have many friends.

And when I left for college,

my mom was worried about me.

And so was I.

But then we met,

and the first night we went out,

you didn't introduce me

to people as your roommate,

you introduced me as your friend.

And I knew everything was gonna be okay.

When I went home that summer

and I showed my mom

the photos of us hanging out,

she was so happy.

She doesn't always recognize me anymore,

but when I show her those old photos,

she says to me,

"That's my daughter with all her friends."

That's how she remembers me.

Thanks to you.

I can't wait to show her

all the photos from this weekend.

You were there for me,

and I will always be here for you.

Love, Alice.

P. S. There are some wet wipes in here,

because I ordered an ice cream cake

and I know you have issues with dairy.

Smiliest face.

- Come here. Let's go. Come here.

- They found me on Craigslist.

I'm not even with them!

God damn it.

Oh, sh*t.

Jay double-crossed us,

and he took off with our score.

So, tell me,

- where'd he put it?

- I told you, we don't know.

Sir, I could wire you $50,000 right now

if you just let us go, okay?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. 50, 000 what?

There's over $2 million

worth of diamonds in this house,

and I am going to find them.

You shoot anyone who moves.

- Oh, my God.

- Please.

F***!

Damn it! F***!

Don't make a f***ing sound

or I will kill you.

What?

Handcuff yourself to the sink.

- F*** you.

- Now.

Okay. Okay.

What the f***?

No...

You don't know anything, huh?

Well, that smells like bullshit.

Hurry up, man!

Do I look stupid to you?

You expect me to believe

that you killed Jay by accident?

That's a bad accident.

It's a big f***ing accident.

I am about to lose my f***ing sh*t.

Jay's dead, and you expect me

to believe

that you guys don't know anything? Hmm?

New plan.

You're gonna watch each other die,

until one of you opens your f***ing mouth!

- And I'm gonna start with you.

- No!

- Oh, God.

- I love you, Frankie.

I love you, too.

Jess! Jess!

Yes!

- Not her beautiful face!

- Come on, Jess!

Whoa.

- You perv!

- Come on.

No, hey, hey, hey!

Ow! Ow!

You guys! The gun!

Shimmy. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.

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