Rough Night Page #6

---

- Oh.

You guys Skype?

- Yes.

- Oh, do we?

Yes.

It's really nice to just sort of,

you know, see the person

when you're talking to them.

- I didn't know that.

- Yes.

You don't know Skype?

Skype is a free video calling app.

- You should...

- No, I know what Skype is.

Jess, you said you couldn't

remember your password.

Well, it is really hard to sign in.

- Oh, sh*t!

- Sh*t!

- Whose dog is that?

- Go away! Go away!

- Go! Go, go.

- Charlie? Here, boy!

- The owner is coming towards the house.

- Oh, God.

No, no, no. You're being too loud.

I can speak to animals,

we have a deep understanding,

- so I got this.

- Charlie?

- Just go!

- Okay, be careful, though.

- Okay.

- Here, boy!

Okay, Charlie. Come on.

Come on, come on.

- Aah! Ow! Aah!

- Oh, sh*t!

Ow. Ow.

- Charlie!

- You stay. I'm bringing him to you.

This is impossible, anybody can see

into the house from the beach.

- This is crazy.

- I know.

If someone reports it

before we do, we're dead.

Well, we just... We have

to get the body out of sight, that's all.

- Yeah, okay.

- All right.

- Okay.

- You all right?

- You all right?

- Good.

Oh, my God, Pip,

I can see all of his teeth marks.

That looks really bad.

No, no, no. This is...

That's not... I'm good.

Yeah, she's fine. Look at her in the eyes.

Okay? So let's just get

the body out of sight,

and then we'll put him back

before we call the cops. Yeah?

- Let's do it. Right?

- Yes.

- Let's go! Okay!

- Let's do it.

Hold the door. Hang on one sec.

- Got it.

- There's two steps here. Hold on.

- Yeah, we got it. Ow.

- Oh, there's two steps.

- Put him down.

- That was me.

Can somebody turn the lights on?

- I'll get it.

- Oh, there we go.

- That's better.

- Oh, God!

Sh*t! Alice, cover the body!

Why? Why? Why?

Pippa, what did you do?

This is a poltergeist situation.

I'm not doing anything.

- All right.

- There's got to be a fuse box.

- Oh, God. There is a taxi.

- Oh, no, no.

There is a taxi right here.

No! No, no, no.

No, thank you.

- Cover the body.

- Hide me. Hide me.

- Balls!

- Jesus Christ.

Find a quilt. Find a f***ing quilt.

- What the...

- Jesus!

- Oh, no. My water broke! My water broke!

- What?

No, no, I just peed.

- I have no control over this.

- Pippa.

Close, you f***.

- Here you go, sir. Thank you.

- Thought I peed. I didn't pee.

- Thank you very much for the ride.

- Thank you.

- Safe home!

- What the f*** is going on in here?

We're starting a garage band.

Do you guys play bass?

We're hiding a body.

What do you think we're doing?

Stop saying "body" so many times.

- Alice, what the hell are you doing, man?

- Sorry.

- Come on.

- God!

Lift him up with your legs.

Lift with your legs.

I swear to God,

he's getting heavier every time.

Just hold one second.

- There's two stairs up here.

- No!

- I got it.

- Let's take a break. Let's take a break.

Break, break, break.

- No, no, no.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- I am out of shape.

- Really good.

- Quick question.

Why are we moving the dead stripper?

The whole house is made out of glass.

This is impossible.

You can see in everywhere.

Where could we put him

that he's not gonna be seen?

So, what do you think, Uncle Jack?

They could charge you

with involuntary manslaughter,

but it's not that easy to prove.

- Ah, thank God.

- Well, that's not bad.

- That's okay.

- Just don't touch the body

- or the scene, and you'll be fine.

- What?

Okay, so actually,

we have already moved him

to a sex swing, Your Honor.

What?

I said, "Actually, we have already

moved him to a sex swing, Your Honor."

I heard you.

You knowingly tampered with the scene,

which means you're guilty

of accessory after the fact,

and they'll have a strong case

for involuntary manslaughter.

Wait, what does that mean?

Up to 15 years in prison.

- What?

- Fifteen?

- Well, what can we do?

- Are we on an open line here, girls?

- It's a burner phone.

- Good.

Like I told Rob Lowe,

if there's no body, there's no case.

We can't just chop him up.

You know what?

I'll just tell the cops it was just me.

No, we all moved the body.

It's a crime.

Well, yeah, but if we just,

like, explain the situation...

What are you talking about,

"Explain"?

Last year, a guy in Tampa,

he threatened to kill his wife,

so she fired a warning shot,

and she went to jail for 20 years.

This country

should be burned to the ground!

Sh*t.

I was so close. Peter.

My career.

It's all over, just like that.

I'm gonna do real time.

Maybe life.

You guys are gonna get

off with a few years.

I can't do any years.

I'm in the middle of a custody battle.

- What?

- What?

What?

Malcolm and I separated six months ago.

You didn't tell me.

Yeah, you've been a

little preoccupied, Jess.

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't need your judgment.

Blair, I would never judge you

for something like that.

Oh, my God, my students.

They idolize me.

They think I'm, like,

the best f***ing adult

in the whole f***ing world.

They'll turn to crime.

I can't go to jail.

I couldn't even make it

through the first episode

of Orange Is the New Black.

None of us can.

It's too soapy, right?

No, I meant none of us can go to jail.

Wait, you guys.

Even if we don't get charged

with this tampering with evidence thing,

we don't know who this man is.

His family could come seek revenge.

He could be part of a cartel

that's gonna cut off our toes

and stick them up our bums.

She's right.

We'll have to look over our shoulders

for the rest of our lives.

He did say that

it would be hard to convict

with no body.

I mean, it was an accident.

And he's not part

of an escort company, you know?

So I don't think anybody knows he's here.

Mmm-hmm.

We got to get rid of him.

- We gotta, right?

- Yeah.

- We do.

- We have to.

- I mean, we don't want to.

- No, of course we don't want to.

We didn't want to kill him.

- We have no other option.

- But we have to.

- Of course we have to.

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Must.

Hey, it's Blair.

Don't leave a message.

Okay. That's it.

None of them are picking up.

That means something really bad happened.

Dude, this is, like, the third girlfriend

that's cheated on you.

What is that? What's going on, buddy?

Does your dick bend weird

when it gets hard?

No.

- All right.

- Doesn't matter.

Let's get you on Tinder right now,

so you can start on a rebound.

- No, I don't want to be on Tinder, okay?

- Come on.

You've gotten over other girls,

you can get over her.

Yeah, this isn't some girl, this is Jess.

I'm not gonna get over her, you know?

And I don't want to get over her.

Then, this time,

do something about it, Peter.

You're right.

You're right, I got to go to Miami,

and I got to win her back.

- Yes, dude. Yes. Awesome.

- Okay, okay.

The first flight out of Charleston

gets in at 10:
00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

- No.

- Oh. There is a train

that gets there tomorrow afternoon

and there's room in the quiet car.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote