Same Time, Next Year Page #3

Not particularly. Aw, come on. You have to.

I don't want you to get the wrong

impression of him. Okay, if you insist.

I do. Okay.

Harry's this, like, big,

heavyset kind of guy, you know-

I really wish you hadn't told me that. Why?

Oh no, don't worry.

He's gentle as a puppy.

Anyway, uh, last year

he got this great idea...

that he'd take Tony out

to fly a kite.

See, Tony's

our four-year-old.

And so they went out to the park to

fly a kite, but there wasn't any wind.

So it's about an hour later, and I

was on my way home from the laundromat.

I passed by...

and I see Tony

sound asleep in the car.

I look out in the park.

There's Harry all alone

in the park,

all red in the face

and out of breath,

and he's just pounding

up and down...

with this huge kite dragging

on the ground behind him.

Oh, I don't know.

It just really got to me.

Yeah, I know.

Helen has some nice

qualities too. Who's Helen?

My wife.

You said her name

was Phyllis.

I know. I lied.

Phyllis Helen! What's the

difference? I'm married!

Look, I was nervous. I was afraid

you'd try to look me up or something.

I didn't want to

leave any clues.

Is your name really George?

Well, of course it is.

You think I'd lie

about my own name?

Yes.

That would be crazy!

Well, you're

pretty crazy.

It's funny, isn't it?

Here we are in a hotel room,

gazing into each other's eyes.

We're both married, and we

have six kids between us.

Do you have

any pictures?

What?

Pictures of your kids.

Yeah, but I don't think

this is the time or place.

Come on, come on. If you show

me yours, I'll show you mine.

I keep mine in this little

folder we got free from Kodak.

Where's yours? You have

to take the whole wallet.

Ahh!

Ohh.

Is that the oldest one with

the glasses and baggy tights?

Yeah, that's Michael.

Funny-looking kid, isn't he?

No. What does he

wanna be, Superman?

No, Peter Pan.

I'm kinda worried

about him.

Why is this one's face

all scrunched up?

That's Paul. That was

taken on a roller coaster.

Isn't it

natural looking?

Right after that

he threw up.

Yeah, he's really, um-

I guess he- I guess

he takes after Harry.

No, both of us, really.

What's your little girl's name? Debbie.

That was on her second birthday. We were

trying to get her to blow out the candles.

She's got her hand in the cake.

Neat is not her strong suit.

Ohh.

You have great-looking kids, George.

Thank you.

So do you.

Thank you.

Okay, but this

is the last time.

Hello!

The seasons

have come and gone!

And the world

goes tumbling on!

Look what's happened

since I last saw your smile!

Hello!

Love's invited us

back here!

The same as she did

last year!

To come and spend!

A while!

And the last time I Felt

like this! The very last time!

I was Falling in love!

I was Falling!

Falling and Feeling!

I'd never

Fall in love again!

Yes, the last time I Felt

like this! The very last time!

Was long before I knew!

What I'm Feeling!

What I'm Feeling now

with you!

Be sure and tell me

before you come out.

Right now.

Wait a minute. Not yet.

I'm getting bored.

Okay, come on out.

IFI knew you were coming

I'd have baked a cake!

Baked a cake

Baked a cake!

If I knew you were coming

I'd have baked a cake!

How d'you do How d'you do How d'you do!

That's wonderful.

Happy anniversary,

darling.

Blow out the candles and

make a wish. All right.

What'd you wish?

I only have one wish.

What? That you keep on

showing up here every year.

What? You hate my hair, dont you?

I told you, I love your hair. Really?

I don't know. Next time I'm going

to go into the city to get it done.

How are the suburbs?

Oh, muddy, mostly.

Right now everyone's

very excited.

Next week they're gonna

connect the sewers.

It's not exactly the life of Scott

and Zelda, but we're surviving.

Uh, let's go over there.

Scott and Zelda, huh?

You started reading.

Oh, you don't know

the half of it.

I've joined the Book of the

Month Club. Good for you!

Sometimes I even take

the alternate selections.

Thank you.

Good evening,

Mr. Peters, ma'am.

Hello, Mr. Chalmers.

Nice to see you again.

Good to be back.

Well, how 'bout you?

Are you still in New Jersey?

No. We moved to Connecticut. Really?

We bought a barn and converted

it. Oh, what's it like?

Drafty.

Helen's got

the decorating bug now.

I have this mental picture

of her at my funeral,

as they're closing the lid to my coffin,

throwing in two fabric swatches...

and yelling out,

"Which one do you like?"

That's the bad story about

her. What else is new?

Oh, how's Michael?

Crazy as ever.

He had this homework assignment to write

about what he did on his summer vacation.

Trouble was, he wrote

what he actually did. What?

Tried to get laid.

He wrote in great comic detail

about his unfortunate tendency...

to get an erection on all

forms of public transportation.

The school

almost suspended him.

You're crazy about him,

arent you?

He's a very weird kid,

Doris.

You know what? I think

that one really gets to you.

Come on, now.

Admit it.

All right, I admit it.

He's a nice kid.

There.

Was that so hard?

Mmm.

What was that for?

For everything.

For this.

For one beautiful weekend

every year with no cares,

no ties,

no responsibilities.

Thank you, Doris.

Doris.

Gee, and I just got

all dressed up.

Mmm.

Oh, somebody has

a rotten sense of timing.

Damn.

Hello?

Yes, this is Daddy!

Is there anything wrong?

Funny?

That's probably because

Daddy was just, uh, uh-

I have a frog

in my throat, sweetheart.

Uh... wh-

Oh, it came out, huh?

Ohh. Well, of course

the tooth fairy will come.

Well, tonight,

of course.

Well, sweetheart, I wish

Daddy could find it for you,

but I'm, uh...

I'm working.

Honey, does Mommy

know you called?

Oh, I'll try. Yes, I

love you too, sweetheart.

Yes, I do!

Very much Ye-

Okay.

Okay, bye.

Oh, God,

I feel so guilty!

Was that Debbie?

Her tooth came out,

and she can't find it,

and she's afraid the

tooth fairy won't know.

Oh, God, that thin, reedy little

voice! You know what that does to me?

Sure, that cheerful look on your

face doesn't fool me for a minute.

You think this is funny?

Doris, my little girl, said,

"I love you, Daddy,"

and I answered her in a voice

still hoarse with passion.

I get the picture, George.

Dont you ever

feel guilty?

Sometimes. Well, you never say anything.

Well, I just handle it

in a different way. How?

Privately.

Boy, something like this

really brings you up short.

I mean, look at this.

Look at me. Look.

I tell you, Doris, when she started

talking about the tooth fairy,

that affected me

in a very profound manner.

On top of which, I have

indigestion you won't believe.

It hit me that hard,

you know?

I have three children too,

you know, George?

What do you

want me to do?

It would be terrific if you

stopped talking about it.

It is only making you feel

worse. I can't feel worse!

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