Same Time, Next Year Page #4

That pure little voice

- No, you're right. Oh!

No, forget it.

Change the subject.

So t-tell me about the

good story about Harry.

He went bankrupt.

How can you go bankrupt

selling TV sets?

Harry has one little failing

as a salesman.

It's a compulsion to talk people out

of things that they can't really afford.

He kind of lacks

the killer instinct.

Actually, it's one of the things

about him that I like best.

Oh, listen. Something

just occurred to me.

Instead of my leaving at my usual time,

would you mind if I left a little earlier?

When did you have in mind?

There's a plane in half an hour.

You want to leave

23 hours early?

There's a connecting flight

from San Francisco in 90 minutes.

I know how you feel.

Really, I do.

I wouldn't suggest it if you weren't

a mother and didn't understand.

It wouldn't even occur to me

if-if this crisis hadn't come up.

I don't mean

Just the tooth Fairy.

She could have swallowed

the tooth.

It could be lodged

God knows where.

Uh... have you seen

my hairbrush?

Doris, I'm probably

doing you a big Favor.

If I did stay, I probably wouldn't be very

good company. I'm thinking of you too.

With the way I'm Feeling-

You probably understand.

You feel somewhat

rejected, right?

I understand.

Really, I do.

I just want you to know that my leaving

has nothing to do with you and me.

This is an emergency! I

have a sick child at home!

Will you stop?

This has nothing to do with

the goddamn tooth Fairy!

You are simply

feeling guilty,

and you wanna get

as far from me as possible.

All right!

I feel guilty, yes!

Is that so strange?

Doris, we're cheating.

Once a year

we lie to our families...

and sneak off to a hotel

in California...

and commit adultery!

Not that I want to

stop doing it.

But yes, I feel guilty.

I admit it.

You admit it?

You take out ads.

I'll bet you stop strangers

on the street!

Y-You probably have

a scarlet "A" embroidered...

on your jockey shorts.

You go around

like an open nerve saying,

"Yes, I'm cheating,

but look how guilty I feel,

so I must really be

a nice guy."

Then

- Then to top it all, you have the incredible arrogance...

of thinking you're the only person

in the world with a conscience.

Well, that doesn't make you

a nice guy, George!

You know what that

makes you? A horse's ass!

I liked you a lot better before you

joined the Book of the Month Club.

Yes, I'll just bet

you did.

- Look, can we discuss this in the car?

- The car?

I really hate to ask you, Doris,

but I need a lift to the airport.

Cheer up, Doris. It's not the end of the

world. I'm not leaving you permanently.

I'll see you next year.

No, I don't think

you will.

Just because I have to

leave early one year,

you're willing to throw away

a lifetime of weekends?

How can you be

so casual?

I don't see any point in

going on. Don't do that to me.

Don't try to manipulate me.

I get enough of that at home.

What's the sense of meeting in guilt and

remorse, huh? What joy is there in that?

Look, I have a commitment

there. And you have none here?

Here? I thought our only commitment

here was to show up every year.

Nice and tidy, huh?

Just two friendly sex partners that

meet every year and touch and let go.

Is that it? So maybe I was kidding myself.

- I'm human.

- So am I.

But you're different.

You're stronger.

Y-You seem able

to take care of yourself.

Listen, I'm gonna

tell you something.

In the past year, I've picked up

the phone to call you 10 times.

I couldn't stop

thinking about you.

You kept slipping over into my real

life, and it scared the hell out of me.

More to the point,

I felt guilty.

So I decided that we shouldn't

see each other anymore.

I wasn't even going to come, but I

thought at least I owed you an explanation,

so I came.

When you walked through the door, I

knew I couldn't go through with it,

that no matter

what the price,

I was willing to pay it.

You better get

on your plane.

I love you, Doris.

I'm an idiot.

I suspect I'm deeply

neurotic and I'm no bargain,

but I do love you.

Will you let me stay?

Oh, the last time

I Felt like this!

I was Falling in love!

Falling and Feeling!

I'd never

Fall in love again!

Yes, the last time

I Felt like this!

Was long before I knew!

What I'm Feeling now!

With you!

What I'm Feeling now!

With!

You!

No, of course I

haven 't left Helen.

I'm on a business trip.

I come up here every year.

I am not running away

From the problem.

Of course I know

it's serious.

I still don't think that's any

reason to call me long distance and try-

Yes, I saw a doctor.

He said- He said

it's no big deal.

He said every man has this

problem at one time or another and-

Look, if we have to discuss this, you might

as well learn to pronounce it correctly.

It's impotence,

not im-po-tence.

It is not something

you have to nip in the bud!

Yes, of

- of course I'm gonna try to do something about it.

Would you let me handle this in

my own way? Would you pl- May I-

I- I'm gonna be fine,

all right?

I'm gonna

- I'm gonna be okay. I can feel it. I know it.

I'm seeing someone out here

who's an expert.

I'm gonna hang up now!

Good-bye, Mother!

Hello, Mr. Chalmers.

Afternoon, ma'am.

George?

Be right out, darling.

How are you, lover?

Guess what.

Oh, my God!

What did you do

to yourself?

Well, I can't take

all the credit.

It was sort of

a mutual effort.

George, when you haven't seen

an old Friend in a whole year,

isn't it customary to give

'em a kiss hello? What?

A kiss?

Kiss?

Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry.

Oh. Ohh.

You okay, pal?

Oh, I 'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm just a little

surprised. You're surprised.

I insisted upon visiting

the dead rabbit's grave.

George, how come youre wearing your

robe and pajamas in the afternoon?

I'm rehearsing

a Noel Coward play.

Is there something

on your mind?

Uh, no, not anymore.

No.

You must be

eight months pregnant.

Exactly.

Oh, come on!

It's not all that tragic.

We can find some other way

to communicate. Great. Great.

You got any ideas?

Is there something else

bothering you?

No. Mm-mmm. No.

Well, you know, every year it

is always a little awkward...

when we first meet.

We manage to take care of that with a

lot of heavy breathing between the sheets.

Uh, Doris, uh-

if were not gonna do it, do you

mind if we don't talk about it?

No, I just meant maybe we need

something else to help break the ice.

Well, I'm wide open to suggestions. Okay.

How 'bout this?

How about if, uh, if I tell you some

deep, dark secret about myself...

that I've never

told anyone before,

and then you tell me

some secret about yourself.

- I've had enough surprises.

- You're gonna like this one.

I've been having

sex dreams about you.

Oh, yeah?

Almost every night too.

What kind of sex dreams?

That's what's so strange.

They're always the same.

I mean, we're making love,

but it's always underwater.

It's in caves, grottos,

swimming pools,

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