Same Time, Next Year Page #6

That far?

All right. Look. Get him on

the phone right away, will ya?

Doris, are you

all right?

Doris? Doris,

answer me!

I'm busy!

Oh, Jesus!

Hello? Yes, yes!

Uh, hello. Uh... hello.

Um, I'm here at the Sea Shadows

Inn just outside of Mendocino.

I was in my room before, and I heard

this groaning from the next room.

And, um, well,

I knock on the door,

and I found this lady- who I've

never seen before in my life-

uh, in labor.

Do you have to know that?

George Peters. So

- George Peters. Peters.

I don't know. I didn't time them.

Three or four minutes apart, I guess.

I don't know.

All right.

Uh- Uh, hold on.

Doris? Doris,

who's your doctor?

Joseph Harrington.

Uh, Joseph Harrington.

In Oakland.

In, uh- in Oakland.

534-0711.

534-0711.

Um- Yes, uh, I-I have a car. I'd

be glad to take her over there.

Sure. Uh, could you

- could you just answer one question?

Would

- Would erotic contact in the last stages of pregnancy...

bring on premature-

No reason. Just

interested. Just, you know-

Okay. I'll get her right

over there. Okay. Bye.

All right. It's okay. They're gonna call your

doctor, and he's gonna meet us at the hospital.

We're not gonna make it to the

hospital. My water just broke.

Oh, my God! We're gonna have

to find a doctor in the area.

Oh, my- Ohh, my God.

You look awful!

What if we can't find one?

You're not gonna faint, are you?

Doris, I'm not a cabdriver! I

don't know how to deliver babies!

George, this is no time to start

acting like Butterfly McQueen.

- Now, you just get on the phone

and find a doctor.

Ohh.

Hello. Uh, Mr. Chalmers,

where's the nearest doctor?

Well, get

- Look. Get him on the phone for me, will you?

This is an emergency.

It's all right. It's okay. Hold

on. Hold on. It's okay, baby. No no!

This will teach you to fool around with a

married woman! Shh what's the matter with you?

Get that down! Get down Get

down! Put that down!

Calm down. Relax. Just

keep that down. Hel-

What do you mean,

his answering service?

W:

- No, no. Wait. Wait a second. You don't understand.

This is an emergency. She's

in the last stages of labor!

Well, get in your car and drive

down to the goddamn pier and get him!

Just get him!

It's okay. It's all right.

Relax.

He's- The doctor's on his boat,

but he's just down- down the road,

and, uh- and, uh- Chalmers is

gonna drive down there in his-

God- in his car

and get him.

He'll be right here.

What?

What? What? What? What?

I feel the baby!

No!

George, I'm scared.

Honey, do something.

- I'll be right back.

- George, don't leave me.

- I'm right here, baby. I'm right here.

- George!

What are those for?

We're gonna have a baby.

- "We"?

- Yeah, but I'm gonna need your help.

Give me your hand.

Look into my eyes.

You're gonna be fine.

There's nothing to worry

about. We're together. Okay.

You think I play the piano well? Yeah.

Wait till you see

the way I deliver babies.

Hey, man.

What do ya say?

Mmm. So... wanna f***?

What? You didn't understand the question?

Of course I did. I just think it's a

damned odd way to start a conversation.

Oh. Gee, I thought it was

a great little icebreaker.

Arent you horny

after your long flight?

I didn't fly. I drove. From Connecticut?

No. From Los Angeles. We moved to

Beverly Hills about six months ago.

Ohh. How come?

A number of reasons. I got tired

of standing knee-deep in the snow...

trying to scrape the ice off my

windshield with a credit card.

Besides, there are people here with a lot

of money who don't know what to do with it.

And you tell 'em? I'm what

they call a business manager.

- How's it goin'?

- Can't complain. Why?

You look kind

of shitty.

Is everything

all right?

When did you start dressing like an indian?

You look like a refugee from the Sunset Strip.

Oh, no. I've gone

back to school- Berkeley.

Why?

Why?

You mean, what do I want

to be when I grow up?

Well, you have to admit it's a bit

odd becoming a schoolgirl at your age.

Hey, listen. You think it's easy being

the only one in your class with clear skin?

What made you do it? Actually, it was

a dinner party that made me decide.

Harry's boss invited us over for

dinner, and I just freaked. Why?

Well, I'd spent so much time at home

with the kids that I really wasnt sure...

I was capable of carrying on an intelligent

conversation with anyone over the age of five.

So, anyway, we went, and I got

seated right next to the boss.

But, you know, I surprised myself.

I mean, he talked and I talked.

It was just like

a regular conversation.

I thought everything

was cool,

till I noticed that he was looking

at me in kind of a weird way.

I looked down at his plate and discovered

that all the time we had been talking,

I'd been cutting up his meat for him.

That's when I decided that

I'd better get out of the house.

Yeah, but why school?

Oh, I don't know.

I felt restless and undirected, and I

thought school would give me some answers.

What sort of answers? You

know, like where it's really at.

Jesus.

What?

That expression.

Okay. I wanted to find

out who the hell I am.

You don't get answers

like that from the classroom.

Well, I'm not in

a classroom all the time.

I'll tell ya, the protests

and demonstrations...

are a learning experience

in themselves.

Protests against what?

The war. Didnt you hear about

it? It was in all the papers.

Demonstrations

aren't gonna stop the war.

Oh, really? Have you got a better idea?

Look, I didn't drive all the

way up here to discuss politics.

Well, so far you've turned

down sex and politics.

Would you like

to try religion?

I think

I'll try a Librium.

Jesus.

Ohh. Honey,

why are you so uptight?

That's another expression

I hate. "Uptight"?

There's no such word. You

remind me of my mother.

When I was nine, I asked

her what "f***" meant.

You know what she said?

"There's no such word."

And now you know there is, you feel

compelled to use it in every other sentence?

What is bugging you? "Bugging" me?

I'll tell you what's bugging me.

The blacks

are burning down the cities.

There's a Harvard professor telling

my kids the only way to happiness...

is to become

doped-up zombies.

And I have a teenage son with

hair so long that from the back,

he looks exactly

like Yvonne De Carlo.

You know that's a sign

of age, dont you? What is?

When you start worrying about

the declining morality of the young.

Besides, there is nothing

you can do about it.

We can start

setting some examples.

As I recall, when you

were a little younger,

you were not exactly a

monk about that sort of thing.

That was different.

Our relationship is not based

on a casual one-night stand.

No. It's been

15 one-night stands.

It's not the same.

We shared things.

My God. I helped

deliver your child. Remember?

Remember?

I consider that

our finest hour.

- How is she?

- Georgette?

Ooh, she's very healthy,

very noisy and very spoiled.

Dont you feel guilty leaving

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