Saturday Morning Mystery Page #3

Synopsis: A dark and bloody parody about a Scooby-Doo-like team of paranormal investigators and their devoted dog. With the crew nearing bankruptcy, they're hired to get to the bottom of a series of spooky events at the remote Kyser mansion, an old religious school plagued by rumors of satanism and ritualistic murder. They're experts at debunking ghost stories, so they get right to work, and despite the ominous signs that this isn't just another greedy land-developer or bitter landlord, they set up to stay the night. When the sun goes down, the truth comes out: this place might actually be haunted...by sadistic spirits or something much, much deadlier.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Spencer Parsons
Production: Xlrator Media
 
IMDB:
4.5
R
Year:
2012
83 min
Website
61 Views


(CREAKING SOUND)

Some really nice

metalwork right here.

Pretty ornate.

FLOYD:
Yeah, I was... I was

thinking the same thing.

It's pretty ornate.

Solid oak banister,

too, I believe.

So whatever happened

to the Kyser family?

Uh, all that stuff with the

land dispute and the cult stuff

just kind of got

more and more ugly,

and, uh,

next thing you know,

people are saying

that they're Satanists.

They're trying to indoctrinate

kids into Satanism,

involving them

in animal sacrifices.

I never saw

any animal sacrifices, but...

Now, obviously, no mall.

FLOYD:
Who is this guy?

LANCE:
So people

started saying the state

should take custody

of the kids,

and, next thing you know,

Mona and Frankie Kyser

disappear.

And, naturally,

everyone starts saying

that their parents sacrificed

their kids to the Devil

and burned them up

in the incinerator.

Police show up a few days

later to investigate,

nobody's here,

and, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Kyser

turn up in a motel room

a few miles away, dead.

Mrs. Kyser had her head

bashed in with a TV,

and Mr. Kyser had, uh,

blown his brains out.

(SQUEAK)

Blah!

Aah!

God damn it, Floyd!

Kids come in here and get

all high on whatever,

say they see ghosts,

demons.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Kid fell out this window

and broke his neck.

(WINDOW THUDS)

CHAD:
We gotta put

a camera in this room.

They found

a leg over here.

NANCY:
Has anyone lived

here since the Kysers?

LANCE:
Yeah,

about 15 years ago,

there was a couple

that lived here.

What happened to them?

LANCE:
They died.

Multiple stab wounds

to each other.

In the kitchen is

where we found them.

Well, this place is f***ed up.

It's a pain in my ass,

tell you that much.

There's people say that the

Kysers opened up a gate to Hell.

I don't know about that,

but if you guys find it, maybe

you can charge admission.

(VIBRATION)

CHAD'S VOICE:
Gate to Hell,

gate to Hell.

Gate to Hell, that's it!

This place is evil.

The Kysers were Satanists,

so they they built their school

on hallowed ground

and indoctrinated

the children into blood rituals

so they could open

a gate to Hell.

MAN'S VOICE:

They fear God.

CHAD'S VOICE:
Oh, my God.

My God!

They sacrificed

their own children

to appease

the Prince of Darkness!

They will possess

the weak-minded.

I must warn Floyd!

I must not fear. Must not fear.

I must not fear.

Fear.

Fear is the mind killer.

(CREAKING)

CHAD:
Guys!

LANCE:
Yeah, so what'd

you think so far?

I think it's amazing.

I'm really excited.

Well, I know what

you're gonna say next.

That, you know...

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

You're professionals,

and this is what you do...

You got it.

And you're fine,

staying here all night,

but I wouldn't mind stopping by

when my shift is over,

if that's okay.

Yeah.

It would

make me feel better.

This place

is for real, guys.

Why don't we put

a camera on him?

Can you not do that, please?

(WHISPERS)

Are they flirting?

Nope.

Are you jealous?

No, I'm over that.

Okay.

I have my card here,

if you need anything

in the meantime.

It does have

my car phone number,

as well

as my office phone.

Got it.

So if you need anything

at all,

feel free to call

either of those numbers.

All right, I will.

I'm sure

we'll be fine.

Okay, well...

I'll see you later.

All right,

I'll see you later.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

CHAD:
Okay, before

we go any further,

can we just acknowledge

that there's really something

in this house that's real?

There's something here, and

we're gonna capture it.

If we're gonna

capture something,

it's gonna happen

tonight, okay?

Yeah, listen, absolutely, I agree.

Can you not do that?

Hey, Floyd...

You're a f***ing child!

Would you go find where

to turn the electricity on,

so we can get to work?

Please?

All right.

Thank you.

Goin' to work.

Come on, Hamlet.

See?

Come on, Hambone.

Our work's

never done, man.

Let's go.

Huh.

"Hey, Floyd,

go turn on the power.

"Hey, Floyd, fix the van.

Hey, guys, go f*** yourself."

Huh.

Well, I don't see sh*t.

Hey, check it out,

Hambone.

It's the Kyser family

incinerator.

Here, kiddy, kiddy.

Well, there definitely was

not a party in here.

Well, this is creepy.

(FAINT SINGING)

What the f***?

(HAMLET WHINES)

(WHINE)

Huh.

(THUD, BOARDS CREAKING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Chad?

GWEN:
Hi.

I'm gonna grab

some things.

CHAD:

I'm telling you, babe,

I felt something

in that first room,

the dining room,

unlike any

of the other places.

GWEN:
(SUGGESTIVELY) Did

you feel it right here?

CHAD:
No, I didn't

feel it back there.

I'm telling you.

I told you so...

You sure? Maybe you

felt it right, oh...

(BREATHING RAPIDLY)

Huh.

(CLICKING FLASHLIGHT)

(TAPPING FLASHLIGHT)

Goddamn flashlight.

(CLICKING)

I can promise

you this, Hambone.

(GROWLING)

We are not going in there.

CHAD:
Can we please not stay

in the pentagram room?

This looks exactly

like the pentagram

in the '52 incident

in Manhattan Beach.

You guys remember it?

It wasn't facing north,

just like this one.

GWEN:

This one's facing north.

North-ish.

FLOYD:
It looks like a soccer

ball made out of twigs.

No, this is the top,

right here.

Floyd, did you put

lights on my microphone?

Yes, I did.

I thought they'd match

your sweater vest, Chadwick.

Jeez. Thanks.

(WIND MOANS)

(STAIRS SQUEAKING)

Blah!

Aah!

Sh*t.

NANCY:
No, Floyd,

I need it more...

It's fine.

It's all the way open.

I need it more to the right.

It's fine.

I really think it's important

to get the bathroom over here.

It's all the way open, and

it's wide, Crimson, okay?

Let it go.

Oh, you know what?

This is what I do.

Please, really

don't call me that.

What do you

want me to call you?

Come on, we got

more lights to set up.

Aw!

(LAUGHS)

(STATIC)

(CREAKING, VOICES)

CHAD:
Hello?

Can you hear me?

CHAD'S VOICE:
Hello?

Can you hear me?

(TAPE REWINDING)

CHAD'S VOICE:

Can you hear me?

(STOPS RECORDER)

(SWITCHES ON

DIRECTIONAL MICROPHONE)

(AMBIENT NOISE

IN HEADPHONES)

(DISTANT WOMAN'S VOICE)

(WIND WHISTLING)

(WOMAN'S VOICE)

Is that you, Mona?

Mona Kyser?

May I speak to Mona

or Frankie Kyser?

(MUSIC)

CHAD:
Spirits of this house,

please give me a sign.

Spirits of this house,

if you can hear me,

knock two times.

Chad?

CHAD:
Mona?

(FEMALE VOICE)

(PANTING)

(WOMAN FAINTLY SINGING)

Mona?

Are you singing

to me, Mona?

(FAINT SINGING)

Would you like

to sing for me?

My name is Chad.

(FAINT SINGING)

Mona?

What?

(WOMAN SINGING

MORE CLEARLY)

Sing to me again.

(SINGING)

(CHAD BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SINGING STOPS,

WIND WHISTLING)

(FIGURE SHOUTS)

Aah!

CHAD:
There's something

that we don't understand

that is going on

in this house.

This place

is dangerous, okay?

(OTHERS DISAGREEING)

We need to get out of here.

GWEN:
Worry too much.

Gwen, look, I... I can't

stay here. I'm gonna go.

You can stay here.

I want you to stay here.

Are you serious?

I'm gonna take the van.

What are you afraid of?

I'll be back

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Kat Candler

Kat Candler is an American independent filmmaker. She has credits as a director, writer, producer and film editor. Kat Candler graduated in Creative Writing at Florida State University and now lives in Austin, Texas. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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