Sausage Party Page #5

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F***ing children!

- We gotta run!

- Oh!

We're all gonna die!

Barry! Snap the f*** out of it and run!

Okay, little buddy.

Jump on the count of three.

One!

Two!

Thre... Uhn.

Carl?

"Gar babar" what?

What are you saying, Carl?

Oh! Oh, God. No!

No! Oh, God! Carl!

Carl!

Barry!

Carl! Dear sweet Carl.

What have they done to you, Carl?

No!

Whoa!

No! No.No.No!

I fall out of the cart, then I lose Frank,

now I'm being hunted by a douche.

The gods must be punishing me,

don't you see?

This is what I get for giving in

to my disgusting urges.

I'm such a whore.

Sweet bun, I must admit I too

sometimes have urges...

impure thoughts. We all do.

Oh, good. That actually makes me

feel a little better.

- We must never give in to them.

- That's the opposite...

- of what I thought you'd say.

- Yes.

The gods are always watching,

even when we cannot see them.

You think it's too late for me?

Do not worry, bun. I will get you home.

Can I ask why you're helping me?

When I saw you, I felt inside myself

a tingling-lingling sensation.

I am sure it was the gods

telling me to help you.

It was as though I saw myself in you.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess

I kind of see myself in you too.

I mean, look at our shapes.

You know, you're sideways.

But still, you're kind of like me.

A thin, brittle version of me.

Or another way of looking at it

is you're a fat, ugly version of her.

- All right. That's not necessary.

- That's no way to treat a lady.

Oh, f***!

That's right, girl. It's me.

And what we got here?

A taco, a whiny doughnut...

and some stupid floppy thing

that nobody knows exactly what it is.

Okay, so...

Did someone say "Queso"?

A f***ing stretch,

and you know you it, Queso!

So where was I? Oh, right.

I was about to beat on you

most viciously...

- and in my opinion appropriately...

- Oh!

To find the whereabouts...

of the sausage who destroyed

my body and my...

- F***ing...

- Run for your lives!

F***, that hurts so much! Oh!

Run!

Oh, he's coming at us!

Hurry!

- Guys, I'm stuck!

- Yaah!

Ay, my bunny-bun!

- I told you she was too fat.

- I heard that!

Come on, honeybun, suck it in.

- Aah!

- He's coming, he's coming.

Eso duele, get the butter!

F***! Stuck!

You gotta be kidding me, dude!

Toma la pinche douche de la chingada

de mierda pendejo son of a b*tch!

Yeah! What she said!

Ay, mi gordita, let's not start

eating each other's boxes just yet.

We are still not safe here. Let's go!

Screw you!

I'm gonna get you, my pretty!

I'm gonna get you

and your little sausage too!

Go f*** yourself, El Douche.

Ay, Santa Chimichanga...

I promise to be a good taco.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

What do I do? I'm all alone.

I'm a coward and I'm all alone.

I f***ed over Frank, Carl's dead

and I'm all alone.

This is what I get for being a p*ssy.

Oh, no, a god!

A sausage.

Sir? Sir, I'm sorry to wake you.

I'm a fellow sausage in distress.

My name's Barry, it's a pleasure

to meet you. What's your name?

Oh, God!

No, no, no! Aah!

I begged them to stop,

but they just wouldn't.

First, the gods stretched me till it hurt.

Then they went inside me and then...

And then...

- Aah!

Look at me.

Look at me!

They... They feel no remorse.

Oh, God, oh, God! What's the point

of even living anymore?

I might as well just die.

Home.

Maybe this god can get me home.

Hey, man, be careful with this.

Bath salts are the real deal.

People been seeing some crazy sh*t.

Awesome.

I can warn Frank.

Here goes everything!

Brenda!

Oh!

Brenda!

Brenda! Oh, Brenda, there you are!

- Frank!

- Ah! You feel so good.

I was afraid you left me

because I wasn't fresh.

I was attacked by a douche.

He's trying to kill us!

Douche? Oh, my God, Brenda!

Are you okay? Did he come at you?

Yes, I'm fine, but it was really scary.

Where have you been?

All right, look, I found out

some pretty major sh*t.

I met this group of nonperishables

between the shelves, and they told me...

that they invented the Great Beyond

because the gods are evil...

- and they kill us!

- What?

But apparently there's proof

in the Dark Aisle beyond the ice.

We gotta go there and check it out!

Let's go!

Don't say that. You're starting to sound

like that whack-job Honey Mustard.

Maybe Honey Mustard

wasn't so crazy after all.

Frank, Frank, stop it.

The gods are already pissed at us.

Please don't make it worse.

Just come on, we have to get home

before it's too late.

Well, Brenda, I can't just do that.

I need to know the truth.

I need to go to the Dark Aisle,

and I want you to come with me.

I can't do that.

- I want you to come home with me.

- Well...

I can't do that.

Then I don't really know what to do

right now.

I don't either.

I don't get how you can just believe stuff

you don't have any proof of.

How come all of a sudden

you only believe if there's proof?

I'm not walking around

with my eyes closed!

What are you saying? I should believe

in nothing? That everything is pointless?

Better than believing bullshit

that you can't explain!

Maybe I don't need to explain it

because it's something I feel.

Well, I feel like that makes it hard

to have a rational conversation.

Eff you, Frank. You know what?

I was wrong before.

There is a Great Beyond without you...

and I'm gonna go there

and fill myself with something else!

You don't mean that.

Yes, I do. I'll fill myself

with a parsnip or a dill pickle.

Maybe even an eggplant.

You couldn't fit an eggplant in there!

It's too big! It'll tear you in half!

Oh, you'd be amazed

what I could fit in here.

What the f*** is going on

with these two?

Maybe I'll really mix it up. Stick

a tube of toothpaste in there, huh?

- Squeeze it all over my face.

- You're just trying to hurt me!

- All over my backside, neck and face.

- I'm not gonna listen!

Brenda! Brenda, okay, look.

Let's just stop this, okay? Okay?

You're my bun.

Oh, don't "You're my bun.

Hey, trust me!

Hey, guys, come over here, follow me!

Ha-ha."

You're basically saying

you don't care about me.

What?! No, I'm not!

Well, actions speak louder than words,

and your actions, sir, are deafening.

I can't believe I got out of my package

for you...

and you won't get back in one for me.

Goodbye, Frank.

We will tell stories of your idiocy.

Stay safe.

Come on, guys, this affects all of us!

Brenda!

Sammy! Lavash!

Taco Lady. I didn't get your name yet.

Brenda!

And I would do anything for love

I'd run right into hell and back

I would do anything for love

I'll never lie to you and that's a fact

Ah, ah

But I'll never forgive myself

If we don't go all the way

Tonight

And I would do anything for love

But I won't do that

No, I won't do that

I would do anything for love

Anything you've been dreaming of

But I just won't do that

I would do anything for love

Anything you've been dreaming of

But I just won't do that

Aah!

What is this place?

Well, everybody told me not to do this.

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