Sausage Party Page #6

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But f*** everybody.

Because bath salts here I come!

Ow.

Surf's up!

F*** me! Hee-hee-hee!

Oh, my God. Ooh.

- What's he doing to himself?

- Oh, yeah.

These bath salts are so good. Ooh.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, it just got better!

Bath salts must be kicking in.

What?

What the f***?

Uh...

- Hello?

- Aah!

Please don't kill me!

Please, just wait!

What are you?

Are you some kind of

magical sausage?

No, no. No, I'm just Barry.

I'm just Barry.

Wait.

Wait. You can actually understand me?

And I can actually understand you?

Whoa. The bath salts are showing me

the real world.

It's f***ing lifted the

veil of non-reality!

Holy sh*t! He can actually see us?

Bath salts are just as bad

as they said it would be! Aah.

I'm tweaked! I'm tweaking!

Whoa, dude! Just take it easy,

just breathe, dude, just breathe.

You're not tweaking,

you're just peaking, man.

Just be with me. Be cool.

This wave's gotta crash.

I can't! You're all alive

and looking at me with your...

With your gloves...

and your little shoes and your arms

and your legs!

Legs, huh? Look at me.

Look at me. I ain't got no legs,

you f***!

You ate my goddamn legs!

Oh, no, not Mr. Pizza!

Oh, f***! I've eaten so many

of your family members!

I've committed pizza genocide!

Mr. Sausage, when will it end?!

"When will it end"?

When he stops drinking us.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

And stops eating us!

- Same here!

- F*** yeah!

And when he stops using us!

What did he do to you?

You don't wanna f***ing know.

Okay, okay. I promise.

I'll never eat food again. I'll just...

I'll just eat dirt and wipe my ass

with sticks!

Good. And there's one more thing

you're gonna do.

Take...

me...

home.

You got it!

I just need to rest my eyes for a few.

I literally can't wait to be home.

I'm so excited, I'm plotzing.

Gefilte Fish will be there. Matzah.

Even Hummus.

- Wait a minute. You know Hummus?

- Know him?

I'm gonna go so far as to say I consider

Hummus one of my dearest friends.

Really? I too know Hummus!

- And I too consider him a dear friend.

- Hm.

We both like Hummus.

Well, any friend of Hummus is a...

Get the f*** away from me.

What troubles you, sweet Brenda?

It's just Frank.

I can't believe he did this to me.

We were supposed to be together.

He's flawed, as are we all.

But your Frank did say some things

that have stayed with me.

We live our lives with all these rules...

and some of them stop us

from doing the things we want...

causing our deepest urges

to be suppressed...

when they are gathering like wildfire

between our legs!

Did you say "between our legs"?

There it is.

- Look, my homeland!

- Oh, look, my aisle!

- Hurray!

- Yes!

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

Well, jeez,

it's been a sincere sensation.

Goodbye, Brenda Bunson.

Goodbye, Teresa Del Taco.

So long, Bagel.

Traveling with you was...

- tolerable.

- Oh, you're so sweet.

Later, you flappy f***.

Well, Teresa, you've done

as much as you promised.

You got me back to my aisle safely.

I really can't thank you enough.

Look, Brenda, I'm going to come clean.

I have feelings for you I can't deny.

- Crotch feelings.

- "Crotch"?

Sorry. But I'm not a soft taco.

I'm a hard, horny taco.

Oh, you don't have to apologize.

Honestly, if the rules were different,

maybe I'd give it a whirl.

- Don't knock it till you try it, right?

- That's what I'm saying.

But I can't try it.

And therefore, I have to knock it.

It's just not what the gods intended.

Look, there's temptation everywhere.

I see it.

Stiff sausages...

and sexy tacos.

But if there is one thing I've learned

on this journey...

what we want doesn't matter.

You can't disobey the gods.

I'm really sorry.

I'll never forget you.

Hola, Teresa.

Hola means "hello."

- Oh. What's the word for "goodbye"?

- Adios.

Exactly.

- Sh*t.

- How the f*** does this thing work?

I wish this god would wake up already.

How am I supposed to get back

to Frank?

Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

What? Who the hell is that?

Oh, only the most intelligent

being alive.

I am Sorbitol, Malitol,

Xylitol, Mannitol...

Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin...

Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc.

But for expediency's sake,

you can call me...

Gum.

For 20 years, I was stuck

under the desk of a brilliant scientist.

I was scraped off and discarded...

and eventually found myself

stuck to a shoe that dropped me here.

Your home is a supermarket.

This is but one of many...

as your particular chain

of supermarkets is ever-expanding...

unified by a singular purpose:

To store food and products

for human consumption.

The supermarket in the closest

physical vicinity to us is here.

If the human operates his automotive,

the journey should take 9.8 minutes.

Great. That last part

was all you had to say, really.

Hey, wake up!

Hey! Idiot!

Are you hearing me?

Dude! It's me, Barry!

What? What? What? Huh? Huh? Huh?

On.

What the f*** is this doing here?

Oh, yeah. Bath salts. Ha-ha-ha.

I can't believe I was actually

talking to you, sausage. Ha-ha-ha.

God! Tripping balls for three hours

really works up an appetite.

Oh, no. This is not good.

What are you doing?

The human is no longer aware

of the fourth dimension.

No! No!

The effects of the opiate have dissipated.

Your speech and movements

are imperceptible to him.

We are totally f***ed.

Oh, my God.

No! No! Oh, God! Ah!

Put me down! No!

Come on, put me down.

Oh, God.

Help me! Ah!

Oh, no. It can't end like this.

I have to warn Frank. No. No!

No!

What the f*** is this place?

What the f*** is that?

F***.

No.

No way.

No. No.

No, no, no.

I gotta show them.

They need to know how wrong

they all are before it's too late!

Sammy, Bubula, where have you been?

Oh, I'm surprised that savage Lavash

didn't stone you to death.

You had to travel with a bagel?

How much did his dirty hands

steal from you?

A ton.

What are you doing out of a package?

It's almost Red, White and Blue Day.

Hello.

Well, you know,

it's a long, pretty sad story, actually...

and I'd rather not get into it

right now.

What the f*** are you doing?

- Stop it!

- Stop!

- There we go.

- You're smushing me.

- Help me!

- Perfect fit.

God! Move your fat ass.

I'm f***ing jacked up now, bro.

Where's that f***ing "sauzeech"?

Um... Friends.

Ramen.

- Country Club Lemonade.

- Huh?

Lend me your ears of Corn.

I am Frank...

and I am a sausage.

A little sausage

with some pretty big news.

Everything we've been led to believe

is a lie.

When we get chosen by the gods,

they're choosing us for death.

Murder. Automatic expiration.

The Great Beyond is bullshit.

- What?!

- That's crazy talk!

You liar!

I know you don't wanna believe it,

but I have proof!

- Ooh!

- What is this?

It's... It's murder!

This... This makes no sense.

But what about

the extra-virgin olive oil?

My flaps will be dry for an eternity!

I can't have dry flaps.

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