Scary Movie 2 Page #22

CINDY:

Hey, we can take my car.

NEWSCASTER:

There's been a major recall on all

Japanese made cars. Auto makers warn

when exposed to rain the cars explode.

LOUD BOOM and FIREBALL out window.

RAY:

F*** it. We'll hike if we have to.

NEWSCASTER:

The bodies of six hikers were found

today torn to shreds by wild animals.

SHORTY:

I know, we can build a plane and fly

outta here.

NEWSCASTER:

Now, that's just f***ing stupid.

Buddy shuts off the TV.

BUDDY:

Alright then, we'll just hunker down

for tonight. Maybe we'll get a break

by morning.

CUT TO:

INT. LAB -- CONTINUOUS

The Professor enters and finds Dwight with his head in his

lap.

PROFESSOR:

Dwight, what the hell are you doing?

Dwight?

No answer.

The professor lifts Dwight's head and sees what he was doing.

PROFESSOR:

Now that's a talent. Dwight, wake

up.

Dwight slowly comes to.

DWIGHT:

(groggy)

I can do it myself.

PROFESSOR:

Yeah, I can see that. Later I want

you to teach me that trick, but right

now we have a job to do.

DWIGHT:

The keys. She took the keys.

The Professor notices Buddy on the monitor, unplugging the

cameras.

PROFESSOR:

Sh*t. They're onto us. Keep an eye

on them. I'll take care of this little

sh*t.

The Professor exits.

CUT TO:

INT. DINING ROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

Buddy climbs down off a chair and joins Ray.

BUDDY:

I think we got the one's up here.

RAY:

I think it's time we had a little

talk with the Professor.

CUT TO:

INT. BASEMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

The Professor exits the lab and heads for the stairs.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches sight of a beautiful

female ghost in flowing white robes. She illuminates a

brilliant white light.

PROFESSOR:

Hello?... Have we met?... Hi...

The ghost lures the Professor down the corridor.

NEW ANGLE:

We are in a different section of the hallway.

The Professor continues to follow the ghost. He has a bit of

trouble keeping up.

PROFESSOR:

(calling after)

Ummmm... Hello?... Umm...

The Professor follows into yet another area of hallway.

NEW ANGLE:

The ghost tempts the Professor into a pitch black corridor.

PROFESSOR:

Ummm... Are you Mrs. Hanson?

(ALTERNATE)

Ummm... Who are you, you gorgeous

creature?

The Professor disappears into the darkness.

He takes out a lighter to illuminate his way.

PROFESSOR:

Hello?... Hello? Are you hiding?

(ALTERNATE)

Where are you, sexy pants?

A horrific look crosses the Professor's face. The beautiful

spirit morphs into Hugh Kane's Ghost.

The Professor takes a beat.

PROFESSOR:

(resigned)

What the hell? I've done worse.

The Professor walks into the darkness.

(REST OF SCENE TO COME)

CUT TO:

INT. ALEX'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

Alex sits in front of her vanity mirror, wearing a sexy robe

and nightgown. She brushes her hair, humming to herself

happily, full of anticipation.

She takes her perfume -- "Obsession" -- and dabs some on her

neck, behind her ears, inside her thighs. Then she puts the

bottle to her mouth and -- glug, glug, glug -- drinks the

whole thing down like Gatorade.

Alex applies hot wax to a waxing strip then to her legs,

tearing it off. Satisfied her legs are smooth, she does her

underarm. She then applies a wax-soaked strip between her

legs then tears it off.

ALEX:

Ouch!

She checks the strip to reveal her p*ssy lips stuck to the

strip.

ALEX:

Oops.

She puts them back between her legs.

She rises and walks over to the old 19th century-style

portrait of the supposed ghost, which once hung prominently

downstairs. It now sits propped up in a corner of her room

with a shrine set up all around it consisting of candles,

little "I love you" hearts, and her vibrator.

Alex walks over to the portrait, regards it lovingly for a

moment, and then kisses the figure sweetly on the lips. Then

she works her way down the portrait -- hungrily kissing,

nibbling, and licking. When she pulls back, seductively, the

cobwebs, dust and spiders that were clinging to the portrait

are now all over her face. She doesn't care, she simply

brushes them aside -- she's in love.

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