School Dance Page #4

something What?

Why he dressed like a man

but got breasts like a woman

For lunch, eat a dick,

if you're hungry

Coulda been your punks

But I got gypped

Your mamma p*ssy DOA

That sh*t is stanky

How you put up

with that stench?

Even Stinkfinger

wouldn't get up in that b*tch

Her pubic hair is

like f***ing on the Grinch

Met your mamma freshman year

We've been f***ing ever since

Nigga, ain't that

about a b*tch?

Look at your gear

See that it's sort of rent

Your pants so tight

I can see your p*ssy print

Camel-toe Joe,

let 'em know who you with

Be like Bernie Mac

I'm the king of this comedy

The back of your neck

looks like grits Hominy

Your braids so old they

singing Negro Spirituals, homie

Oh, nobody knows

Tell the truth Live honestly

Come out the closet

with your promise ring

You call this gay?

We happy, nigga!

But I just played your girl

like an action figure

Ooh!

Matter of fact, I'm gonna pass it, n*gger!

Yo, J-Extra! Go on,

blast these niggas.

Uh...

Yo.

Listen.

Man, I told y'all this

kid wasn't Ranger material.

Ahem!

Students, did you think I'm playing?

I'm walking around here

looking for you.

Get your little goat-smelling

asses in your class.

I'm out here working. I'm looking.

Don't make me sneak up on you.

I smell p*ssy or pot.

It's pot!

Smoke weed every day.

Everyone, take out your poems

and pass them to the front.

I hope you students ain't

fronting on some b*tch-ass sh*t

and try and turn in

some old Jay-Z lyrics.

I got all his albums.

I fucks with Hov!

Miss Moreno, late again.

Sorry, Ms. Billingsly.

You must think Billingsly

is a punk b*tch?

Because you are

treating me like a b*tch,

coming up in my class

all late and sh*t!

Ms. Billingsly,

it's not even like that.

And I bet your ass didn't do the

homework assignment either, huh?

Well, actually,

I have something...

Uh-huh?

I mean, I liked it. It's formatted

correctly. The words are beautiful.

You just forgot to

put your name on it.

So, you didn't think

it was too long?

Nah, you're perfect.

It's perfect.

Thanks!

Oh! You decided to

actually do some work.

Well, I have got

to hear this sh*t!

Miss Moreno,

do us the honor of reciting that poem.

What? To the front of the class,

Miss Moreno.

Ms. Billingsly...

Don't talk back to a pimp!

Respect my gangsta!

"Admiring from afar

"Courting in secret

"Wishing for my star

"My prayers to keep it

"You are my star

"In the safety of my dreams

"You are my star

"Beauty gazing for what seems

"Like an eternity

"Too fearful for speaking

"Too nervous for flirting

"My words escape me

"Yet flourish from the page

"Maybe it's not yet my season

"My love ferments with age

"I guess I must wait

"I confess I must say

"You are my star,

you are my star

"But I am just a glimmer in

the galaxy of your existence

"But I go unnoticed

from a distance

"Burned by your heat

"I've yearned for so long

"For you without me is

like a singer with no song

"Yet still,

you are my star."

Oh, sh*t!

That motherf***er

was hella dope.

Thank you.

Students,

it's 3:
00. School is over.

The school dance is tonight.

No gang attire.

No lace front. No thongs.

No C-section scars.

See you tonight.

Hey, man, where the hell

is your clothes?

My horse got the munchies

and ate them.

Smooth move back there

in class, my son.

But now it's time

to rope this filly.

Man, what you talking about?

Here she comes.

Jason. Jason!

Oh, my God!

She gave me an A!

She even wrote,

"Your poem was the sh*t!"

I wish I was as good

a writer as you.

I mean, you're talented.

I've seen you.

Really? I mean, I've got the vocals.

Just not much of a songwriter.

Maybe you should let me

help you with that.

Yeah?

That would be cool.

I guess I owe you now.

No. You don't owe me.

It's the least I could do after

peeing on you in pre-school.

I knew I wasn't crazy. That was you.

That was really stupid.

Man, shut up! Sh*t.

Excuse me?

Huh?

I said shut up to

all them haters.

And, uh, give me your number.

Okay.

So, you should give

me a call sometime.

And maybe we can

write a song together.

Yeah. I'd like that.

F*** you, niggas.

How you do that sh*t?

Oh, and aren't you going

to the lock-in tonight?

Uh, yeah. Uh-huh.

Cool! I'll see you there then.

Yeah.

Yeah, nigga! That's how you do it, nigga.

That's how you do it.

Hey, Un-Circky,

she give you the drawers yet?

Oh, man!

I'm working on it, bro.

Look who finally got a little confidence.

Yeah.

Got a little bit of swag, too!

You actually got her number.

I can't believe it.

That's right. JULIAN:

You know he ain't gonna do nothing with it

but get ink on his dick

when he's jacking off.

Aw, sh*t!

Who raggedy-ass

sh*t is that?

Jason, bring your ass over, boy!

Nigga, that's your mamma?

Oh, hell no!

Goddamn. This boy's gonna make

me get out of this goddamn car.

Here, see what happened is

she's not all the way my mamma.

She's kind of my mamma,

just a little bit.

Sh*t!

Get it, cuz.

That's you. That's you.

That's true, cuz.

I sat on two, cuz.

Nigga, you lying!

Actually, she's adopted.

I swear!

Don't make me embarrass you

out here in front of

the school! Now come on.

If she let you go,

we gonna be at my crib.

All right.

I'm gonna hit your cell!

You ain't gonna hit sh*t!

Who they f*** are they anyway?

Mamma, they was my friends.

You ain't got no f***ing friends.

Quit lying.

Hold on. Hold on.

What's happening?

Hey, man, come on. Mamma.

Old lady.

You see me out here dancing?

Crip walking and sh*t!

You're out here interrupting my swag, lady.

Yeah, b*tch! You

interrupting his swag, ho!

How about I interrupt your life?

Oh sh*t.

Sh*t done got real!

Everybody, chill!

No. No. No.

Look at me.

It's cool, lady.

I'm not worried about that little

squirt-gun you got, nigga.

I got p*ssy hair

tougher than you.

Yeah, it's on top

of your lip, b*tch!

Motherf***er!

All right!

What seems to be

the problem, Percy?

Nothing, Uncle. Everything cool

around here. We're straight!

I've done told you little motherfuckers

to stop coming up to this school,

you grown-ass niggas.

You trying to gangbang?

You need to bang a job!

I done told you about

selling drugs around here.

Come on, we ain't

getting nobody into that.

We ain't in that life. We just say no

to that. Ain't that right, my nigga?

Excuse me, say what?

I said, "We say no

to drugs, nigga!"

Come again. Say what?

No.

Percy, you think you slick.

I'm on your ass.

I'm on your ass

like stink on sh*t!

Look, I told you to stop calling me

Percy in front of my homies, man.

It's OG Lil' Pretty Thug.

You know what it is.

Pretty thug!

A pretty thug?

You look like a pretty

little chimpanzee!

Not when I do this.

Amazing!

You look like OG Meerkat.

Meerkat?

Yeah, you look like a little meerkat.

All four of you is short!

You understand?

All of you can do

a flip under the bed.

Nigga, are them the shoes with

the wheels on the bottom of 'em?

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