School Dance Page #6

I'm mad nervous, y'all.

For sure.

Call her.

And I'm gonna call George

Kush and light up this blunt.

You know what?

I can't believe they beat my record.

You know I hold the record for

most videos retired on 106...

- And this one is smashing it.

- How many days it's been over?

Cut it! 78 days!

Hello!

Yo, it's Jason.

Who the hell is Jason?

What do you want

with my daughter?

Hey, sir, it's Jason and I want

to speak with Anastacia, sir.

Man, you didn't answer my question.

Who are you?

And what the f*** do you

want with my daughter?

Uh... Me and Anastacia are ass-mates...

I mean classmates!

We share a room...

We share a classroom and I

help her with her homework.

And I wanted to know if she

needed any more help... Help...

If she needed me to help

her with her homework.

'Cause I helped her

with her homework.

Hold on. Anastacia!

I'm coming.

Hello?

Hey, Anastacia.

Jason?

Yeah. I thought this

was your cell phone.

I lost my cell phone.

This is my home phone.

What's up?

Uh, nothing.

What's up with you?

Hey, yo, tell her to put the

phone up to her coochie!

Shut up!

Excuse me?

Uh...

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Nothing.

Um...

I guess I'll see you

later on at the lock-in.

Later on.

I guess so.

Straight crash and burn!

You got all shook when

her dad got on the phone.

It was downhill from there.

She probably thinks you are a

big-ass dork right about now.

I told you about them

Mexican daddies, man.

No n*ggers in mi casa, fool!

Confidence, bro.

That's all it is.

Stop being so f***in' nervous.

Yeah, virgin!

Who was that on the phone?

Nobody. It was just

a friend from school.

He was helping me with homework.

Oh, yeah?

He's helping you out.

And your little friend from school.

Is he a negrito?

What does it matter?

Orale, Kim Kardashian?

Now you're dating black guys?

Papa!

Papa?

Don't papa me.

Okay, I know how

suave black guys are.

They talk to you with that Mack Daddy

lingo, holding their giant penises.

All right, and I could

tell by this kid's voice,

over the phone,

it was all deep,

he's got a giant palo.

No, he doesn't.

What did you say?

Nothing.

Look, Ana, you're a beautiful Latina,

which means...

Which means what?

Which means

you're fertile as hell.

I don't want some little black

nappy-headed baby with a big penis

running around this house,

touching all my sh*t,

and leaving him for me to raise.

I can't believe we're talking...

Big black baby.

...about this right now.

I'm a virgin.

I didn't run off like you and Mom

and get pregnant when I was 16.

All right, well, at least I stuck

around to take care of my children.

Those black guys come

around with their cool talk

and they get you in bed,

and when you get pregnant,

they turn into magicians.

Magicians?

Yeah, magicians,

like that acho we saw

at the casino, David Coppertone.

- Yeah, Coppertone.

- He was good.

- Yeah, it was funny.

- The rabbits?

Yeah, they were cute.

They disappear.

I don't want you to become a statistic.

All right?

I'm telling you because I want you to

take care of yourself. I care about you.

Papa, don't worry about me.

Worry about your sons.

Like Junior, the one that just got

out of jail?

Or this one.

The 18-year-old who

still wears slippers

because he doesn't know

how to tie his shoes.

Hmm?

Oh, no, I know

how to tie my shoes.

I just think the concept

of laces is stupid.

I would have to agree

with Flaco on that one.

Who asked you to talk, ese,

and why are you always here?

Yeah. Why are

you always here?

What do you mean?

I'm family.

How are you family, fool?

Yeah. How are

you family, fool?

I'm second cousin to your third

cousin's cunado, El Machete,

who married Consuela,

who was married

to Pablo before and

then escaped to the US.

After that, El Machete took care of me,

and then he disappeared.

So, I didn't know what to do.

So I just came here.

And that's all I have

to say about that.

And you want me to be

with somebody like this?

Gosh, Papa.

Sh*t, she might have a point.

Power 106!

DJ Sully Sal.

The moment you've been

waiting for is going down.

We're gonna lock your asses in.

At the talent contest we will

be making some stars tonight.

You know how we do it.

Y'all ready?

It's all about Unity in the Community!

Yo, Monte Vista, let's go!

We got The Rej3ctz in the house!

Oh, snap!

The Rangers are in the house!

They're the favorites to win

the contest tonight, y'all.

You Ranger boys better

behave yourselves tonight.

I'm gonna behave

on that ass tonight.

Yeah,

Ms. Johnson got cakes.

I ain't gonna lie.

She is nice looking.

Come on, man.

What you're really supposed to be

worried about is Anastacia tonight.

Nigga, this ain't the Disney Channel.

You better go handle that.

She practically throwing her p*ssy at you,

f*** boy.

All you got to do is catch it.

I don't even know

what to do, y'all.

I know what this

little nigga needs.

Seven minutes of heaven.

Hey!

Everybody got their

name in the hat?

For sure. Y'all know

how this goes down.

Seven minutes of heaven.

I pick two names

out of this cap,

y'all go into this closet

right here for seven minutes.

First two names are...

Julian and Big Booty Becky.

Get in.

What a nasty ho!

Seven minutes.

So, what's up, Becky?

Absolutely nothing.

For seven minutes.

Come on, don't be like that.

Ow.

Doesn't this just get

your adrenaline going?

It's like a dominatrix has

your balls in a vice grip!

This is what super cops do, right, Lagney?

What the f*** are you doing?

I've had three of these things...

Sh*t.

The best.

What happens when

you lick a goat's ass?

Ah...

Pay attention, f***er!

I think you're beautiful.

What?

I think you're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

Get your hand off

my tit, man! I'm driving.

I like you.

So we not gonna

do nothing, Becky?

Would you even be interested if

I didn't have this

big ol' booty on me?

What?

What kind of question is that?

That's what I thought.

All you like me for is my booty.

It's such a nice booty.

Plus, you got a cute smile.

And a dimple that only

comes out when you laugh.

Aw.

See, I'm a nice guy.

One minute left!

Sh*t, that's all I need.

You don't got to tell me twice.

Daddy about to get it on.

F***!

You love the white chocolate.

I normally don't

date white women.

But when I do...

What are y'all doing out in this hallway?

Get to the dance!

The question is, sir,

what are you doing out here?

Well, I'm the Principal.

What are you doing...

Do you got an ETA

on The New Boyz?

No, but we know about

Ms. Johnson's T n' A.

You better watch your mouth.

Sitting up there talking about you know

something about Ms. Johnson's DNA...

Yo, what the hell is

going on out there?

Uh, Principal Rogers,

as soon as I hear about The New Boyz,

I'll come look for you, bro.

Yeah, you do that.

Snitchin' ass nigga.

You know a snitch don't like a snitch.

You take it easy and

get to the dance, nigga.

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