Schtonk! Page #4

You are completely right.

She was here and so was I.

And I am a lying.... well, like you said.

But please do me one favor,

don't take it personally.

You know what I'm like.

I can resist anything...

...except for temptation.

And it comes to me in all shapes and sizes.

I thought to myself.... cash is king.

You see? It's happening again.

Sausage platter.

Ah, yes.

Did she notice?

No.

I admitted to everything.

But I told you to lie!

I can't do that.

I cannot lie, Martha!

The world wants to be lied to.

Yes, yes.

Well, I just can't.

I can't lie.

Neither privately not professionally.

I just can't.

Yes, yes, I know, me neither.

It's a relief

to hear that you're so honest.

Because this thing can only happen

if we are both completely honest.

Of course, honestly.

And that's why I'm telling you quite frankly

that this thing needs to be completely secret.

Top secret.

Yes, yes, the highest degree.

I don't know you, you don't know me.

Of course not.

And these diaries would be coming

from Moscow via the GDR.

Moscow?

Yes, via Kiev, Warsaw, Potsdam, Pankow.

Bangkok?

Pankow!

Nobody knows, nobody may ever know.

They'll just appear, nobody knows from where.

And most importantly, they

may not be publicized.

Not publicized?

I fully agree.

However for a newspaper,

that is a very hard condition.

I don't know how to .... them in Hamburg.

You know Hamburg is Germany's leading press city.

If I approach them like "friends, don't publicize"...

That would be rather novel to them.

I don't mean not publicize them ever.

I mean, don't publish them before I give my OK.

From a safe space

where me and my associates from the East

Can be assured of out safety.

If Hitler's secret diaries are published,

heads will roll. What do you think!

The whole world will be

watching closely.

There will be a bang and we should

both be far away, dear Willi.

Taking cover from the KGB, BND, AEG.

AEG?

I mean ARD..eh.. that acadamic research thing...eh...

I see.

Mossad, Stasi, CIA. I have no use for

money that will only buy me a coffin.

No,no, despite all my passion for it

I am not suicidal.

When I think about what's in store for me..

All the burden I take on with 25 to 30 volumes.

There are 30 volumes?

Roughly. It depends on what's being

delivered and what's being paid.

How about 40k?

40000?

A piece?

Well, er, I mean, we should be able to find a way.

I think, maybe one or two.

Shall we say 3 for 120?

I'll give you an advance of 10%.

12000 DM and the rest upon delivery.

These are 1,2,3,4...

80, 90, 100

110, 120, 130

I hope that engine will run.

Empty. I think fried eggs and coffee

aren't good for my stomach.

Maybe chamomile tea and Zwieback?

Oh yes, please!

And maybe some very light oatmeal?

That would be sweet.

Fritzken,

just say what you need, I'll do anything for you.

Ugh!

What's upP?

No, no, just your strong smell.

From my mouth?

Yes.

24.02.1940

The superhuman efforts

of the recent past

are giving me gas in my intestines.

And Eva says I have bad breath.

When I think about what

we are holding in our hands here.

What his hands touched.

When I think about that ... here and now....

I'm touching what he held in his hands.

Then, I get a whiff of something.. like an emotion.

Something like history's ice cold breath.

I have to admit.

What did I want to say?

Right, what's in them?

I did not dare to break the seal,

my Fuehrer, I mean, ... doctor.

It says so on them....

that only authorized people.... explicitly.

Top secret. Property of the Fuehrer. Keep shut.

And so on... Bohrmann.

Well, eh, ..

That falls under the statute of limitations, right?

I mean it does not apply for us anymore.

Pass me those scissors.

Ah, right, that is written in old German.

That's how the Fuehrer wrote.

Yes, yes.

Kept astoundingly well.

Beautiful old German writing.

Too bad, ... too bad, that I cannot read this now.

Back with the Hitler Youth I used to ....

we didn't read or write much, but..

If you like, I can try.

Here it says February 24th, 1942.

February 24th.

Right.

And then, ... aha, ... the , eh, U,...

... the superhuman efforts ...

..of the recent past...

.... are giving me gas ....

..in my intestines.

Gas in my intestines. Incredible. So intimate.

Carry on.

Gas in my intestines and Eversack.

Eversack?

Who's Eversack?

Eversack is bardbath.

Maybe he's alluding to a person

named Eversack Bardbath. Sounds Jewish.

Maybe bad breath?

As I was saying Eversack is a Jew.

And his real last name is badbreath,

and Hitler found out or something....

Just a minute.

Now I know. Incredible.

Such human grandeur.

Uncompromising authenticity.

Go on, what does it say?

It says:
The superhuman efforts of recent times

are giving me gas in my intestines.

And Eva says...that I have bad breath.

That is...

..that is...

That is sensational.

Adolf Hitler privately.

A person like me and you.

That's a worldwide sensation, gentlemen.

Hermann.

600.000, 700.000, 800.000,....

I guess I need to go to the bank.

Go ahead, where's the problem?

Bank's are still closed.

Well then open one!

I am happy to hear you like it.

The way the Fuehrer wrote it, Mr. Willi.

Hermann.

Hermann from now on.

It's not like I know what 's in them, Hermann.

I was afraid you guys

might not like it. Historically.

Historically this is of greatest importance

for Germany, for the entire world.

Really?

Every word is most important.

He's sharing his innermost thoughts every day.

Is that true.

I haven't read it but it's possible

he wrote a bunch of bullshit, right?

No?

Fritz, if you value our friendship

don't talk like that about

the Fuehrer in my presence.

Sorry, Hermann, I didn't mean it like that.

Nevermind. When can you deliver

the remaining 25 books?

25?

Yes, chop chop, asap.

Put some pressure on them,

they're getting paid for it!

Here's another 100.000, as an advance.

Thank you, Hermann.

Dr. Wieland may I introduce Baroness von Hepp.

The niece of the Reichsmarschall.

What?

Gring.

Frau Gring...

Von Hepp

Oh, pardon.

No need to apologize

I'm not ashamed of my uncle.

Neither do I.

My uncle, e.g. was in the resistance.

Yes, I guess neither of us

is to blame for their families.

Of course not, quite the contrary,

maybe the two have met.

I'd say never mind and cheers.

Champagne!

I meant your uncle, .. my uncle, ... eh...

You're not only weak...

you're a pig.

Oh Fritz, ... come here, just once more.

That's enough.

January 30th, 1933

I need to have a serious talk with Eva.

She believes a man spearheading Germany

has spare time for private affairs

In her youth she does not realize the constant

struggle the German chancellor is facing.

August 1st, 1936

I opened the Olympic Summer Games 1936

All events are sold out.

I hope I'll get tickets for Eva.

November 19th, 1942

At the east face of Watzmann

three young mountaineers were under distress.

I sent 50 mountain infantrists to their rescue.

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