Screwed Page #8

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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO--

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH--

- HEY, EMMA!

- HI.

SORRY.

- HEY, EMMA.

- HELLO.

- HI.

- HEY, EMMA.

- HEY.

- NEW GUY.

SO I WAS RECENTLY TEMPTED

OVER THE WEEKEND.

YOU SEE, THERE WAS

THIS NICE, YOUNG LADY,

AND I MET HER AT THE CLUB.

AND SHE WAS--

SHE WAS SUCH A LITTLE WHORE.

SHE WANTED ME:

TO RIP HER CLOTHES OFF

RIGHT THERE ON THE DANCE FLOOR

AND PUT HER UP AGAINST THE WALL,

BUT, UM--

BUT I DID NOT DO THAT.

LIKE A GOOD BOY,

I WENT INTO THE MEN'S ROOM,

WALKED INTO A STALL,

LOCKED IT,

DROPPED MY F***ING PANTS,

AND I JACKSON POLLOCKED

THAT SH*T EVERYWHERE,

RELEASING THREE WEEKS

OF TENSION IN ONE NIGHT.

SADLY, I, UM--

I RUINED MY REALLY GOOD

GOING OUT SHIR WITH MY OWN JISM.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE.

[applause]

- THANK YOU, SONNY,

FOR THA NEEDLESSLY GRAPHIC TESTIMONY.

WHO'D LIKE TO SPEAK NEXT?

- I WOULD.

HI, I'M EMMA.

- HI, EMMA.

- HI.

AND--

AND I'M A SEX ADDICT.

ACTUALLY, THIS WEEK

MARKS MY ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY

ABSTAINING FROM SEX.

- WOW, WOW.

- THANK YOU.

IT WAS CRAZY HARD, THOUGH,

NOT GIVING IN.

I MEAN, THERE WERE SOME TIMES

WHERE I THOUGHT I'D JUMP

THE FIRST GUY:

WHO SAID GOOD MORNING TO ME,

BUT I DIDN'T.

IT MADE ME STRONGER.

IT MADE ME UNDERSTAND

HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS

TO WAIT FOR THE RIGHT GUY

TO COME ALONG:

AND HOW SPECIAL IT WILL BE

WHEN I FINALLY DO SHARE MYSELF

WITH HIM.

[soft piano music]

I THINK I FOUND HIM.

I JUST HOPE,

NOW THAT I'VE SHARED

MY DARKEST SECRET WITH HIM,

HE DOESN'T RUN AWAY.

THANK YOU.

[applause]

HOW COMPLETELY FREAKED

ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

- SLIGHT-TO-MILD FREAK.

HEY.

SERIOUSLY, I CAN TAKE IT.

- WELL, I NEEDED YOU TO KNOW

THAT PART OF MY LIFE,

'CAUSE I MADE A PROMISE

TO MYSELF:

THAT THE NEXT PERSON I WAS WITH

WOULD BE THE LAST,

LIKE, THE WHOLE

"TILL DEATH DO US PART" THING.

[soft acoustic guitar music]

- YOUR SKIN IS SOFT,

AND MINE IS ROUGH

- IS THIS JUST, UM,

MY ADDICTION OR SOMETHING ELSE?

- AND ALL I KNOW IS...

- SOMETHING ELSE.

- I CAN'T PULL AWAY

BUT THEN AGAIN,

I NEVER WOULD:

BUT I START TO FEEL

YOUR BREATH MIXED WITH MINE

I KNOW THAT YOUR HANDS

AND YOUR LEGS:

ARE NOT FAR BEHIND

CAN'T TELL WHERE I END

AND THEN WHERE YOU BEGIN

I LOVE GETTING TANGLED

THE GOOD KIND OF TANGLED

WITH YOU:

[music fades]

- [whispers]

YOU ARE A FREAK OF NATURE.

- YOU'RE NOT SO BAD YOURSELF.

- [chuckles]

I MEAN,

EVEN IF I DIDN'T LIKE YOU

AS MUCH AS I DO,

I'D BE A COMPLETE FOOL

TO LET SOMEONE WITH YOUR TALENTS

GET AWAY.

- I WASN'T ALWAYS THIS GOOD.

IT'S LUCK, SKILL,

AND A WHOLE LOT OF--

SORRY.

- NO,

I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW

HOW MANY PEOPLE:

I'VE BEEN WITH.

- YOU SAID "PEOPLE," LIKE...

- MM-HMM.

- WOMEN TOO?

REALLY?

WELL, NOW, THOSE EXPERIENCES,

YOU CAN FEEL FREE TO SHARE

IN AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE.

- [whispers]

I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

WILL I SEE YOU LATER?

[surf crashing]

- I GET OFF AT 9:00.

DROP OFF A MOVIE,

AND I'LL COME OVER.

- CAN'T WAIT.

- HEY, JERRY.

- MORNING, EM.

HEY, SOMEBODY LEFT THIS

FOR YOU YESTERDAY.

- OH.

WHO WAS IT?

- SHE DIDN'T SAY

WHO SHE WAS.

- OH.

THANK YOU.

[dogs barking]

- RUFF, RUFF.

[somber acoustic guitar music]

- HEY.

THOUGHT I WAS COMING

TO SEE YOU.

WHAT'S THIS?

- A SURVEILLANCE VIDEO

FROM THE MALL.

- LOOK.

I CAN EXPLAIN THIS.

- NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE ONLY KISSED AT THAT POINT,

SO I CAN'T REALLY PULL

ANY SORT OF TERRITORIAL

THING HERE,

BUT LOOK.

I JUST CAME HERE

TO FIND OUT ONE THING:

WHEN YOU HAD SEX WITH JEN,

WAS THAT BECAUSE YOU

STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HER,

OR WAS THAT SOMETHING DIFFERENT?

- NO, WAIT.

EMMA, LOOK. LOOK.

IT'S WAY MORE COMPLICATED

THAN THAT.

IT'S--

- OKAY.

OKAY, SO IT'S TRUE.

- WAIT.

WAIT.

WAIT, PLEASE.

JEN BROKE UP WITH ME

BECAUSE I WAS LOUSY IN BED,

AND I WANTED TO GET BETTER

SO I COULD GET HER BACK,

'CAUSE I THOUGHT I LOVED HER,

AND THERE WAS THIS TAPE

WITH THESE RULES, AND I HAD

TO SLEEP WITH THESE WOMEN

IN A CERTAIN ORDER.

IT MADE ME BETTER.

AND THEN I MET YOU,

AND YOU WERE ON THE TAPE,

BUT I--

I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

I TOLD JEN I DIDN'T LOVE HER

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE

WITH ANYONE ELSE,

AND I NEVER WILL BE--

THAT WHOLE:

"TILL DEATH DO US PART" THING.

LOOK ME IN THE EYES,

AND TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME.

- THIS IS MY SEX ADDICTS

ANONYMOUS SPONSOR.

YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, WILL.

YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH IT.

- EMMA, I'M--

I'M NOT JUST A WHORE.

I'M SORRY.

- I'M--

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S FINE.

- COME ON.

- NOPE, IT'S FINE.

- IT--IT'S JUST,

I DID THIS FOR US.

- EXCUSE ME.

- EMMA, PLEASE.

- SORRY, MAN.

THAT MUST REALLY HURT.

WANT TO GO GET A THAI MASSAGE?

[mutters]

ALL RIGHT.

HAPPY ENDING TIME FOR ME

[somber piano music]

[knocking]

- OH, OH, OH!

[laughs]

MM, HI.

[clears throat]

WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS.

I TRUST YOU'VE HAD

A VERY ACTIVE MONTH,

YOUNG SQUIRE.

- I JUST NEED TO GIVE THIS BACK.

- OH.

OH, MY.

WAIT.

WAIT JUST ONE SECOND.

[upbeat jazzy music]

[record scratches]

[upbeat music]

- AH, GODDAMN, WILL.

IT'S BEEN 30 DAYS ALREADY, HUH?

- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE,

SLIMY DUDE, BUT--

OKAY, FINE.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

BUT I'M NOT COMING IN.

I JUST WANT TO RETURN

THIS STUPID TAPE.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER, WILL?

WAS THERE A PROBLEM?

DID YOU SLEEP:

WITH ALL THE WOMEN ON THE TAPE?

- LOOK, I DON'T REALLY

WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOU.

CAN YOU JUST TAKE

THE GODDAMN TAPE BACK?

- WILL,

DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU

THAT ONE OF THE WOMEN

YOU SLEPT WITH:

COULD END UP BEING THE ONE

YOU'RE MEANT TO BE WITH

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

- YEAH, OKAY,

THAT F***ING OCCURRED TO ME.

IT ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

- BECAUSE SHE FOUND OU THAT YOU'VE BEEN BONING

OTHER WOMEN?

- YEAH, IT'S FUNNY

HOW THAT LITTLE DETAIL

DOESN'T SIT SO WELL

WITH THE WOMAN YOU LOVE.

- WILL, REMEMBER THE RULES

OF THE F***ING TAPE.

IN ORDER TO RETAIN

YOUR SEXUAL PROWESS,

YOU HAVE TO SLEEP

WITH ALL THE WOMEN ON THE TAPE

IN THE ORDER THAT YOU SAW 'EM,

AND YOU HAVE TO RETURN

THE GODDAMN TAPE IN 30 DAYS.

- YEAH, TODAY'S THE 30TH DAY.

- AND WOULDN'T IT BE F***ED UP

IF THAT TAPE DOESN'T GE RETURNED UNTIL TOMORROW?

NOT ONLY WILL YOU LOSE

EVERYTHING YOU'VE GAINED,

BUT ALL THE WOMEN YOU'VE MET,

THEY'LL NEVER REMEMBER

THEY EVEN MET YOU.

WILL, YOU REALLY WANT TO BE

WITH THIS WOMAN, DON'T YOU?

I THINK BOTH YOU AND I

KNOW THE TRUTH.

LET ME TELL YOU:

SOMETHING, SON.

IT'S GONNA TAKE

A WHOLE LOT OF WORK.

- YEAH.

[door clicks]

- WHY, HELLO, YOUNG MAN.

YOU WANT TO COME IN

AND SHOW MY WIFE

EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED

THE PAST MONTH?

- UH, OKAY, UH...

- [laughing]

- GOD DAMN IT.

WILL YOU PLEASE:

PUT THAT F***ING THING AWAY

AND GO GET THE BALL GAG

IN THE KIDS' TOY BOX

LIKE I ASKED?

- THIS ONE,

ALWAYS SO BOSSY.

SEE YOU SOON, WILL.

[relaxed jazzy music]

- WHAT A TOOL.

ANYWAY,

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

- THANK YOU, WISE SEX DUDE.

- I'M THE BEST.

[laughing]

TAKE IT EASY, WILL.

- SO EMMA'S

REALLY GONNA FORGET ME?

[engine turns over]

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