See You In Valhalla Page #6

Damn it!

Jo, are you okay?

I sense some very negative

energy coming from here,

and I just needed to make

sure you were okay.

Yeah. I'm, uh...

I'm good.

Okay.

What, are you changing?

No, no, I'm packing.

This is a bag.

But what about

the funeral?

I should've

just stayed home.

You know,

I come back here,

and all this sh*t just picks up

where it left off.

I'm gonna talk about me

for a second.

You know,

I never really had a family

until your dad

took me in.

He's been

really nice to me.

Yeah.

Well, he's, uh...

He's changing,

I guess.

Heh.

I think he pretends

I'm you guys.

He misses you.

It's not just him,

though, you know?

It's...

It's this place.

It's Max.

It's every scar,

every bruise.

You know,

every stupid f***ing

memory is...

It's here.

But if we didn't have

any of the bad stuff,

then how could we

recognize the good?

It would all

just be the same.

Maybe they're preparing you

for something bigger.

What, like, um...

Like a test?

Yes!

You should go catch Peter

and see if you pass.

What do you mean

catch him?

Where'd he go?

Well, he took

Makewi's bike.

He looked very determined.

Oh, sh*t.

May the winds

guide you, Jo!

Hey, what do

you want, man?

What the...

Are we done here?

I'm just

getting started!

Get off of him!

Dude came at me.

Get off of him

right now, Johnny,

or I swear to God, I will run

you over with my car.

Learn to throw a punch

like a man, huh?

What, a man like you?

Yeah, have fun with

my sloppy seconds, bro.

Get over it, Johnny!

We were

in high school!

F*** this!

Yeah, tell your wife

and kid I say hey!

I'm not married!

Hey, are you okay?

Honestly,

just leave me alone.

I embarrassed

myself enough.

Pete.

I shouldn't have come here.

Why?

Because you obviously

have a lot of loose ends

that you

need to tie up,

and I just get in the way,

okay? I get it.

That's not true.

Yes, it is!

I tried

to kick his ass.

I... I can't

even fight.

I don't need anybody

to fight for me, Pete.

I... I brought you

because you're a good guy,

because you're someone

I want to get to know.

Yeah, and I feel like you forge

t

that I'm even here.

Pete, we need to talk.

I'm gonna tell you

something I've never

told anyone before,

why... why I really

left here.

Jo, I really understand.

Okay?

No. No, you don't.

I... I never had

an abortion.

Why the hell would you lie

about something like that?

No. No. I mean, um,

I... I had the baby.

What?

Yeah.

I... I was young.

You know, I was 16, and...

And Johnny and I

had decided that it was

the right thing to do.

But the... the night before,

I just... I had this...

This feeling that

I just couldn't shake.

I... It just wasn't

something I could do.

Well, what happened?

I moved away and

actually had the baby.

Everyone just thought

I had an abortion and left.

What happened

to the baby?

I had a closed adoption,

and that was that.

You know, but, uh,

now I have to live

with the fact

that I have

a kid out there,

and I'll never know

what she's doing

unless she

comes and finds me,

so, you know,

it's easier

just to let everyone else

believe what they want.

When my mom died, I...

I lost the only woman

in my life.

You know, my brothers

did their best,

and my dad did

what he could,

but then he, uh...

He started to dwindle away.

Max did try, though,

but, you know,

he was a drug addict.

How could he...

I started, uh,

painting these pictures

of these women,

but no matter how hard

I tried, I just...

All the women

in the paintings

resembled my mom.

And nobody knew

any of that until now,

so I don't really know...

Don't say anything else.

I just want to hug you.

God, Don, come on!

Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap!

Ow! Get...

She's a minor, Barry!

She's a little kid!

You're such a f***ing

hypocrite, man.

One minute,

she's an adult.

One minute

she's a kid.

Make up your mind!

F*** you!

Dad, leave him alone.

I wanted to have the drink!

What is going on?

Bearbear gave Ashley

a bit of alcohol.

Yeah, it was a mojito.

Hmm.

Good for you.

Enjoying my summer.

Get off!

Hey, fatty.

Ow.

"Dear Diary..."

Come on.

Get off!

"Oh, I saw

Jamie Linder's pee-pee

"in the locker room, and it

was red and beautiful.

I want to hold it

in my mouth."

Remember that, fatty?

Is someone

gonna break them up?

Ah, they're making up

for lost time.

Let 'em get

a few more in.

They're not

so much fighting

as kind of

aggressively hugging.

Little b*tch!

Yeah! What now?!

You forget I wasn't

just a cheerleader.

I was also on

the wrestling team.

Let's call a fruit a fruit,

Barry.

Come on, you liked

getting whipped

in the shower

after the match.

You're such a f***ing a**hole.

Yep.

You want more, b*tch?

Aah!

Ooh!

Ooh!

All right, enough.

It was an accident!

The coconuts?

Really, Barry? That's enough.

That's enough.

Get the f*** off me.

It was an accident.

Just like

a f***ing f*ggot

to go for the nuts.

Daddy, look out!

Sticks and stones

may break my bones,

but if you use that word

in that tone again,

your daughter as my witness, I

will bend you over

and show you how I lost my

virginity. We clear?

That's enough!

Daddy, are you okay?

Pack your bags.

What, now?

Now!

Okay.

Don, don't.

Don! Don!

Look, wait. Wait.

Don't go.

Don't go!

I am sick

of this f***ing family

or whatever the f***

you want to call it.

All right,

I want you to stay.

I don't give a sh*t

what you want.

Look, Don!

I'm your father.

I need you to stay.

Oh, you're my father

all of a sudden?

You lost that privilege

a long time ago!

Come on, Don. We could

talk abo ut this.

Damn it!

You okay?

Come on. We're going.

Don, wait. Wait, Don.

I didn't abandon you,

Don. I was lost!

Yes. You know what? You were

f***ing lost, Dad!

You were lost my whole

f***ing life!

And you know what?

Stay the f*** lost!

No, Don, Don, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I was a man in love.

What was I going to do with...

Yes, you loved! You loved one

woman more than you loved

f***ing anything else

in the world,

and you couldn't see

anything else!

Where were you

at all my f***ing games?

At my graduation

or my wedding?

Your granddaughter

walks in the room,

you didn't even know

who the f*** she was.

Your daughter has an abortion!

You weren't there!

Where were you?

I know, Don.

Your son comes out of the close

t

where were you?

Magnus was

f***ing self-destructing

in front of your very eyes,

where the f*** were you?

I was here

when Magnus was here.

Bullshit!

I'm here for you right now!

Tell me what you want!

Don't!

Tell me what you want!

Don't try

and be my dad now.

It is too broken, man.

We are too broken

to fix.

Stop!

No!

Woody. Woody.

Uh...

can I sit here?

I mean,

it's the gay section.

I don't want you

to catch anything.

Look, I didn't mean

that you're a f*ggot.

I... I don't know

what I meant, all right?

You punched my balls into my

mouth. I was in pain.

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