Senior Skip Day Page #7

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Have you been f***ing Laura?

She was f***ing his brains out!

You bastard!

Oh.

Hey! You're hot.

I can't believe

how stupid I was.

Oh, f***, man. Carla!

F*** off!

Jesus.

You wanna make out?

Okay.

Oh, I can't f***ing

believe this.

Hey!

Um, this is weird.

Get it dude.

Oh my God.

Oh my God!

Carla, is everything...

Get the hell away from me!

I don't wanna talk to you!

He's all yours, honey.

This is your own fault,

you cock tease.

Hey, you know what,

you can't talk to her like that.

Oh yeah, the b*tch is all yours,

what're you gonna do about it?

What?

I'm sorry bro. But, f***. I've been

wanting to do that all day, man.

Oh my god.

Mom.

Oh, sh*t.

Mom, uh, I seized the day, you remember?

You said, seize the day this morning?

You've destroyed the house, you...

Not again. What have you done?

Mom, I threw a party. I threw

a party, and it was awesome.

- Yeah...

- Wasn't it? It was...

- You rule...

- Thank you...

Thank you. Whoever said that.

That's a long time coming.

Tate, he played all of this music,

and it was amazing, and...

and this old guy,

he bought us liquor and I...

I built a... I built a bong

in our garage.

- Oh great.

- And... and...

then we called up these models

and these models came over...

and we took pictures of

them in their underwear.

And then everybody came

over and we just partied.

And, you stuck your

finger in the dog's ass.

Yeah...

Yes, that, I... I did do

that. That was an accident.

And then there's Carla.

She made these... these crepes,

they're just, they were amazing.

And she's amazing, and I got a

chance to talk to her and lied...

and I lied, and I said... I said

some stupid things and...

I'm sorry.

Oh sh*t... it's Dickwalter.

Mom! You cannot

open that door.

If you do, none of us are

going to college. He's insane.

Everybody hide! Everybody...

Hi, Mrs. Harris.

Is the entire

senior class home?

Mr. Dickwalter. What

are you doing here?

What am I doing here? I'm working my

way through college, what'd you think...

I'm doing here? I'm here to bust

the Senior Skip Day party.

Well, good luck with that, sir.

You trying to tell me there's not a 100

kids on the other side of that door?

I think I would know, if there were

a 100 kids standing behind me, alright?

How 'bout Ellen, is she home?

Say I asked, okay?

I've got it. They're at

the Washington funeral.

They're at the

Washington funeral, sir.

There is no funeral.

Your son made fools

out of all of us.

He's been there all day,

with the entire senior class.

He's been there all day

with the entire senior class.

There's no funeral! They're at a party!

Why won't any one listen to me?

- I dropped him off myself.

- I dropped him off myself.

They're at, huh...

1762 One Eden Lane.

1762 One Eden Lane.

Gotta go.

Bye.

Dickwalter, you remember me?

People like you don't

remember people like me.

You just prance away

through other people's lives,

spewing your bullshit about

taking the moral high road.

Wait a minute.

Huffier?

Your old classmate.

You do remember.

- You 'member anything else about me?

- No.

Like how you ratted out my

Skip Day party to the principal?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Good times, well, see ya.

You ruined any chance I had

of going to technical college!

You see, I had a dream.

Oh God!

I had a dream of being an air conditioning

repairman, and you f***ed that dream up.

- And then they locked me up.

- Why?

And the long, lonely nights began.

Aagh.

That's when I got a new dream.

- Alright, let's hear it.

- Yeah...

I'm dreaming of opening a barbecue

shack, Lionel's Barbecue Palace.

I came back for you,

Dickwalter, 'cause

you're gonna help me make

my new dream come true.

See, I'm gonna cut your f***ing

head off and put it on the menu.

You think too small.

Ever been to Burma?

They chase their whiskey with snake venom

and the women all do that basket trick.

Now, excuse me! But I've got

a phony funeral to attend.

Boy. That guy's

really changed.

What the hell have you done, Adam?

He's gonna show up at the funeral..

none of us will be there and

we all be f***ed.

Shut up, Tate! Ellen, you're and

mom are the only sober persons here.

- Can you do me a favor?

- What's that!

Do you know how

to drive a house?

Beat the Dick

Whoa.

Beat the Dick!

Beat the Dick!

Here you go, Philly.

She's all yours.

Use it in

good health.

Ease!

Well, well, well, looks like

Mr. Dickwalter wins again.

Got the entire senior class,

might as well have graduation here,

except none of you

are gonna graduate now!

Drinks, food,

everything I'd want if I

lost a son. I have lost a son.

Mr. Dickwalter, sir. I think

you've got the wrong idea here.

You broke my

heart, kid!

I'll call it even if you put

in a good word with your sister.

Come on.

Hot.

Who is

this a**hole?

That's my principal,

pop. Mr. Dickwalter.

Motherf***er.

You got a cast

of extras too?

The rest of you disgust me as well

'cause you covered up for them.

You like to party, you wanna have

a party? I like to have a party!

I know how to party, you

wanna have a party? Here...

Huh... huh?

No? Suit yourself, more for me.

Motherf***er.

Not my style. I like a cold beer,

and I bet I know just where it is.

That's a dead kid.

Motherf***er.

Phew.

Hey, Dickwalter!

Tell me more about Burma.

Fantastic.

Does anybody else find it ironic

that this a**hole goes through hell...

trying to punish us

for skipping school,

and yet he himself ends up skipping

off to Burma with an escaped convict?

You know what though? I'm...

I'm actually kind'a proud

of him, I really am.

Sick bastard that he is.

Aren't you sick of

listening to him already?

What's your problem,

you're still mad at me?

I don't know. Are you

still full of sh*t?

I'm always full of sh*t.

Now, just one more

thing. Really quickly.

True love. It is a

rare, rare thing.

And when you find it, you need

to grab the bull by its horns.

And you need to wrestle it to the

ground. And then you need to take...

Shut up and kiss me.

Okay.

That was really good.

- Was it?

- See, you got it all over your mouth.

You know how long I've

been waiting to do that?

3 weeks, that's how long...

- 3 weeks, 4 if you count rehearsals.

- We kissed in rehearsal.

- No we didn't.

- Yeah we did.

You have a completly

warped imagination.

- You kissed Alan in rehearsals.

- You just don't remember it, that sucks.

- I never kissed you in rehearsals.

- You don't remember, but you did.

- We never did...

- Oh my god, that's really sad.

- This was our first kiss.

- No, it wasn't, that's really sad.

The first one didn't make much

of an impression, obviously.

Obviously, that's sad.

Uhmm, are you upset that we're

done with the movie?

- Yes.

- Yeah?

- What're we gonna do?

- Now?

- Yeah.

- I don't know.

Can I finish up what I was gonna

say before you interrupted me...

- No, you're annoying...

- and made me kiss you?

I was gonna say, that...

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