Set It Up Page #8

---

- That's me. That's me, yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

- One, two, three.

[siren wailing nearby]

That's my ride.

- He does do it every time.

- I know.

[Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed,

Delivered (I'm Yours)" playing]

Signed, sealed, delivered

I'm yours

- You're so good at that.

- Oh, I'm just like Bruce Lee.

- I just don't even know what's going on.

- Just stop thinking.

Nobody cares. Let's do it.

Look at all these a**holes.

Signed, sealed, delivered

I'm yours

Here I am, baby

Just imagine you're paralyzed,

and all of a sudden,

you get feeling back into your limbs.

Now you're one of those blow-up

air men outside a car dealership.

Yeah, that's...

[Dire Straits' "Romeo and Juliet" playing]

Don't be weird.

A lovestruck Romeo

Sings the streets a serenade

Laying everybody low

With a love song that he made

- What's Rick and Kirsten's "and yet"?

- What do you mean?

That "because, love despite" thing,

when there are all these...

Um...

Like all these reasons

why it shouldn't work out...

but they don't care.

Like Romeo and Juliet.

Our families are mortal enemies,

and yet...

You nearly gave me a heart attack

He's underneath the window

- Rick and Kirsten don't have one.

- Well, that's good, you know? We...

I mean, they can't not like anything

about each other.

Not yet.

But even friendships have them.

Like, Becca's wild,

and she drinks too much,

and she's never paid a bill on time,

and yet I love her.

You like expensive stuff...

and let a 23-year-old walk all over you,

and yet you're tolerable.

- I do not let her walk all over me.

- I'm sorry. Where are your sunglasses?

And the way we used to be

All I do is keep the beat

You talk way too fast,

and you are way too nice to everyone...

- except me, apparently...

- [laughs]

- and yet... you are a terrible dancer.

- That's not how it works.

[laughing]

I need pizza.

So, like, we're clearing the air,

you know what I mean?

I probably had a few glasses of wine.

It was like... [laughs]

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Oh, my God.

- You're drunk.

- What? Me?

- Yeah.

- You.

- It was an accident.

- Mm-hm

- But it was also incredibly on purpose.

- Angel. You're the love of my life,

- Yeah?

and I'm so happy for you.

But there's no pizza on this roof,

I have to go.

- Do you wanna come?

- I can't.

- Sure?

- I can't. But get out of here.

- Love you.

- Love you.

- Charlie?

- [Charlie] Huh?

It's time to go.

- Oh, man. Keep it real, though.

- [Charlie] Miss you already.

- Where do you want these?

- Oh, you can just put them on the table.

- You are gonna let the smell out.

- I wish that box was my bed.

I know this is not gonna sound

how I mean it to sound.

- I wanna f*** this pizza.

- I get it.

You should never say that to anyone.

But I get it.

[loud music playing]

I'm sorry.

Duncan's playing Third Eye Blind in there.

- What does that mean?

- He's hooking up with a guy.

Duncan is gay?

What?

I'm kidding.

We cannot interrupt him.

Do you know how athletic I was?

Impressed yet?

I'm so hungry.

Too hungry.

Oh, God. Nope.

- Do you need some help?

- Yeah.

- Give me the pizza.

- No. I'm gonna take it up to the top.

Absolutely not, your hands

are too small. Ah!

- Charlie.

- I'll hold it in one hand.

I'm gonna move my way up this ladder

like a monkey. Stop.

Stop. I got this.

- All right.

- Oh, my God.

Stop. Keep the top up.

Otherwise the cheese will slide.

- [laughs]

- Please don't drop my pizza.

- What? Just stop making me laugh.

- I'm serious.

- Stop making me laugh.

- I'm not trying to. I mean it.

- Okay?

- It is in my possession. I got this.

- [Harper] Oh, are you okay?

- I'm fine.

No, I'm talking to my pizza.

[both groan]

[Charlie] Parkour.

This is the dining room.

Careful.

One, two, three.

Yes.

[Adam Bravin & Esthero's

"Come Go With Me" playing]

- Thank God.

- That looks so good.

Just choose it.

Wow.

Love, love me darlin'

Come and go with me

Please don't send me

This is the best meal I've had...

in my entire life.

Come, come, come, come

Come to my heart

Tell me darlin'

We'll never part

I should probably go...

home.

Slice for the road?

Two, please.

But roll it crust-side-out.

I'm a lady.

Say you love her

Yes, you really love her

Never give me a chance

Come, come, come, come

Come into my heart

Tell me darlin'

We will never part

I need you, darlin'

[cell phone buzzing]

Come and go with me

Hey.

Hi.

- What are you doing here?

- You two, in my office, now.

[Rick] Charlie,

this is Kirsten.

- Kirsten's assistant, Helga.

- Harper.

Hello.

You two should get to know each other

because Kirsten and I,

we're getting married.

Wow.

- [Harper] Really?

- That's great.

Amazing.

Wonderful. [chuckles]

We're flying to St. John's,

we're gonna elope on the beach,

sunsets, all that romantic sh*t.

We want you two to set it up.

Us. Of course.

Obviously, because who else would do it?

- We can do that.

- Sunset, St. John's.

How come you're not writing this down

like Henrietta?

- What's going on?

- Oh. Um...

We can make that happen.

- When do you wanna go?

- Next Saturday.

Next Saturday?

That's so soon.

I'm gonna be gone for so long,

there's gonna be little to do.

This is a good time to prep that draft

on the nonagenarians

you were talking about.

Yes, please. That would be...

wonderful. [chuckles]

- Okay.

- And, Charlie, I'm giving you a promotion.

What?

So, when we get back,

you can teach the new bastard

for a few weeks,

- and bring him up to your level.

- Absolutely.

Okay.

- [Rick] We'll make this legal.

- [Kirsten] You're ridiculous.

[Rick] Give me some of that.

Now? Are you still here?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

[Harper laughing]

All right.

We can work from the District Club today.

Sir.

I wanna throw a big party to celebrate,

um, when we're back.

Invite all the usual girls.

Maybe we should have a party before

the wedding. What's on my agenda?

You have Mary's baby shower,

but I canceled that for you.

- I'll go to that now.

- You will?

I'll finally have something

they'll wanna talk about.

Have a seat, Harper.

[stammers] You and...? Okay.

All right. Sorry.

I'm gonna give you some advice.

Men don't wanna date you

when you're beating them to a story.

But I have met someone

who wants me to be strong.

And he likes that I'm successful.

He's a goddamn unicorn.

[chuckles]

I don't know. It feels like fate.

- I know that I've been cunty.

- You haven't.

- Don't be those women that can't say c*nt.

- I am not.

I know I've been cunty.

It's partly because you're young

and your skin bounces back,

and it annoys me, but...

it's because I want you to succeed.

What do you mean?

I see so much potential in you.

But you have to have tough skin.

So, if I'm the most awful person when this

shitstorm of an industry is hard on you,

I know that you'll be prepared.

MyChef Series A is gonna be

such a disaster.

We're so smart we didn't invest with them.

Don't forget to tell Kiki.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes