Shaandaar Page #4

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What kind of name is that'?

There's a long story

behind my name.

Would you like to hear it, Mr. Alia'?

There you were saying you can't sleep.

What did you say you were'?

An lnsomaliac'?

So my dad's name was...

...Joginder Singh...

...and my mother's

name was Jagjinder Kaur.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Where's Alia'?

Alia'?

Oh she and l...Last night...

That is...JJ and I...

Alia'? You know she

can't sleep at night.

She must be here somewhere.

Jagjinder Joginder...

Jagjinder Joginder...

"What a hottie-hottie."

Hello?

- Alia. Where are you'?

I fell asleep?!

What'?

I fell asleep.

Wow.

How....?

- Okay, but now get up.

Get up and run.

Papa's hunting for you.

Oh sh*t.. okay.

This...'?

Where were you'?

I was sleep...Uh sorry...

I went for a walk, Beeps.

Like this?

Like this.

Where?

Here and there.

Here or...'?

I will shoot everyone.

Sir...

What happened, Mr. Fundwani'?

They've thrown my bro into jail.

- What?

- Good.

What'?

God. Robin.

Come to jail, Sir.

What'?

Police station, Sir.

- Come let's go.

- Come please.

Let's go, let's go.

- He took his clothes off in a public place.

- Calm down, please.

No, no, he couldn't have done that.

Somebody else must have done it.

Look at his face.

Idiot...l mean...innocent.

- Bipin, bribe him!

- I'm sorry he broke the law..

Please, if we could quicken

up this whole thing...

...and you can release this

boy and we can leave from here.

Because the entire

family is over here.

Daddy-o, you're getting nowhere.

Let me handle this.

Let me talk to them.

Everybody relax. Don't worry.

It's gonna be all right. We'll

handle it. Come here. Give me a hug.

Irritated?

Keep the old man outside.

What happened, Baby'?

They told me to go out.

He's gone in.

JJ my man...

JJ my man...

Jagjinder Joginder...

Jagjinder Joginder bro...

I swear on God, I didn't do anything,

bro. I didn't do anything.

I've been telling them all night,

I did nothing.

I didn't touch any of those chicks.

Hold on!

What did you do'?

What did you do'?

I swear I didn't do anything.

I swear on Eesha's head,

I did nothing.

All night long,

I've gone bananas telling them...

I did nothing.

I didn't even touch those girls.

- Did I touch those girls?

- No.

Didn't touch those girls.

You shook your booty in golden

chuddies and you say you did nothing.

I was just moving them aside.

- I swear on Eesha. I swear on Eesha.

- Let me talk to them.

I can't tell you how

much I appreciate it..

JJ I must tell you...

the glass is soundproof..

Oh right. of course..

How much longer can

you keep him there'?

We have to let him go JJ..

No James no. You have to

keep him for a bit longer.

You have to make him suffer.

You have to..

you have to make him cry..

Can you do that thing in Rambo?

You know where they take

that water hose and then they just...

...do stuff like that to him.

May be we could open...

Things that will cause him pain!

What happened'?

It's 12:
35.

Ok...

Yeah I think we should

keep him in for longer.

He should suffer.

Suffer some more because he's a creep.

Could you like give

him like life imprisonment?

Alia, are you mad'?

Life imprisonment. . seriously'?

Why not'?

For strutting his stuff in a bar'?

Why not'?

I only got a one-day deal, kiddo.

Calm down Alia...calm down.

We have to let him go now..

Jagjinder Joginder,

my bro, my homie...

I have spoken to the officer.

Yes, yes'?

He'll let you go on one condition.

I'll do anything, anything.

He says you're not to so

much as look at another woman.

- You won't feel them up.

- You won't touch them.

You won't even look

at them on Youtube.

Or on Twitter.

Or Whatsapp...

What'?

I promise I won't.

I won't.

You will never again take

your clothes off in a club.

You will never work out again.

You will abstain from protein shakes.

And eggs.

You just won't eat any food.

And never take off that shirt.

Or your trousers.

I agree. Whatever he wants.

No eggs. The devil take all eggs.

Officer, he's agreed

to your conditions.

You will never wear gold again.

Bro?

Cool down, Bro.

They're not Sindhis, Bro.

Forgive them.

- And you know what'?

I even had a dream.

You know snails can

sleep for three years.

Three years'? Okay.

I think I'm now a snail.

Why'?

I can sleep now, Sis.

Last night?

I was out like alight. Right out.

- Out!

- Like real sleep, sleep-sleep'?

With bells and bobtails on.

Wow.

And you know,

he acts all big and macho...

...but he's afraid of the darkness.

- Really?

- Really.

- Afraid of the night?

- Afraid.

Go away, choo, choo!

- Yesss...

Want some'?

Oh no!

OMG!

OMG to you too!

Want some'?

Yeah!

Let's go skydiving'?

You know, you may never

get another chance at life.

Why not'?

But you know, if we go together...

...I'm sure we won't ever

get another chance at life.

Just kidding babe.

- Flight, listen up, everyone.

- Are we ready'?

- All set, everyone ready?

Let's go!

- John'?

- Yes, sir'?

- Get the parachute ready.

- Ready, sir!

Let's jump.

I'm dying to jump.

Haven't done it for years.

Shall we, Daddy-0'?

You?

Ye-e-e-s!

I haven't got my parachooooot!

- What are you doing here'?

- Hanging. Checking tickets!

- What'll you do if I don't have one'?

- What'll I do'? I'll let you go...

Let's party in mid-air!

Entry is free for you, Daddy-o.

- Fancy something special?

- I don't want your stupid free entry!

- You are a fallen angel!

You're the one who's falling, Daddy-o!

I don't have a parachoooooot!

How are you liking it, daddy-0'?

I was loving it!

Don't take me on, Daddy-o!

I will. What'll you do about it'?

Really? Deal done'? Then

congratulations on the match, Daddy-o.

- What match'?

Gosh, he's piggy-backing on me now!

Now up we go, don't lose it, Daddy-o.

Idiot!

Cheers, cheers, cheers!

Oh my boy, cheers!

- I'm starving.

This is all non-vegetarian.

- So what's wrong, sister?

- On Tuesdays I'm vegetarian.

Me too.

Me too.

This is so badly organised!

Non-veg on Tuesday?

Boy! Cheers.

It's Tuesday and there's non-veg only.

This is the crazy.

it's my Tuesday also.

Guys, vegetarian food!

Mushrooms & brownies.

Like totally veg...

- Like organic.

- Like totally...

Like...where did you get them'?

Such sweet chaps.

They gave them to us totally free.

Hello everybody.

Hello...hello, hello...

Really very sorry for the delay.

Delay? Delay? Delay?

What's going on'?

It's our veggie Tuesday.

And all this is non-veg.

No, no, today is Monday.

it's Monday today.

In India, it's Tuesday. And we

choose not to eat non-veg on Tuesday.

All meat, no eat.

All meat, no eat.

What are you eating?

Mushroom.

Show me that.

Your attention, please.

These narcotropic substances...

...can have an unexpected

and euphoric effect upon your body.

Do not think of them

as innocent things.

When they get in you, they reform

your mind and transform your system

This cocktail will

set your blood a-leaping.

Yes, you heard that right.

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