Shakes The Clown Page #6

- I don't know.

- Hey! Hey!

- Hey, d*ckhead!

- Somebody's callin' you.

A mime!

Jesus Christ, you stupid sh*t!

It's me!

Shakes, you're a mime!

I'm not a mime!

I knew it. Remember how he used to

sit for hours and not say nothin'?

This is a double whammy, man.

First I find out you killed someone.

Now I find out you're a mime.

That's weird!

I didn't kill Mr. Cheese.

Oh, yeah, all right.

Then who did?

It was some rodeo clowns!

Rodeo clowns.

Come on.

You know, I heard you.

You said you were gonna kill him.

You don't even know what you're doing

when you're drunk. That's the problem.

Yeah. Look, Shakes, just...

Turn yourself in to the police.

You gotta believe me, man.

Come on.

Where's Judy?

She ain't here.

Judy didn't show up for work?

- Yeah.

- No, she didn't show up for work.

She's not inside.

If you look inside, she's not there.

She's never late.

We gotta go find her.

You guys aren't gonna help me, huh?

- Come on.

- Shakes.

Shakes, come on.

We'll take my car.

Just promise me

you don't enjoy dressing like that.

The tights ride me in the crotch,

but outside of that it's not that bad.

It's just weird

to see you look like this.

- Hurry up.

- I can't move any faster in these heels.

Sh*t.

Oh, man.

I'm sorry Dink didn't believe you.

- Shut up, man. I believe him.

- Oh, you...

Guys, guys, guys, come on.

They got my girlfriend.

What are we gonna do?

We have to go to

that rodeo clown bar.

- The Broken Saddle?

- See, that's stupid.

- No. Those guys are tough.

- They're big there. They hit you.

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

You gonna help me or what?

I wanna go!

You're the idiot who...

- He's a chickenshit.

- Yeah, I'm chicken. Stupid idiot.

How you doin', Spur?

What's wrong with you, son?

Come on, Ty, let's go get some p*ssy.

Hey, cut it out.

Leave the damn people alone.

Oh, sh*t.

We're gonna get our asses kicked.

- Just act tough.

- Don't be intimidated.

Say, you rough, tough cowboys aren't

fixin' to mess up my joint, are ya?

No, we just wanted

a couple of beers.

Shut the f*** up! This here's a rodeo

clown bar, and you ain't rodeo clowns.

Yes, we are.

How come I ain't never

seen you here before?

'Cause we're from the east.

Yeah? Well, I'm from back east,

and I ain't never laid eyes on you.

We're from the Middle East.

Actually, Lebanon.

Hi, I'm Dink.

Nice to meet you.

- Dink this.

- Please don't hurt me!

I-I-I'm gonna go lie

next to my friends.

No! No! No!

Welcome back.

Jeez, we're gonna be here

all night.

Had enough?

That's it, man? Usually we gotta watch

you get your ass kicked for an hour.

That's the truck! The clowns

that ran me off the road! Get up!

Come on, let's go!

- See you later.

- Come on!

Falafel-eatin' a**holes.

Calm down, Clown Judy.

I was nervous

my first time on TV too.

Turn that frown upside-down,

Clown Judy.

Did you know... This is a fact...

it takes 98 muscles to frown...

and only two to smile.

That's true!

Laugh and learn

with Binky the clown!

It's a shame

that your boyfriend Shakes...

won't be around to see

your big television debut!

Oh, perfection.

You look beautiful, Clown Judy.

Beautiful!

Don't you understand what I'm saying?

I love you.

Oh, no!

It's that Shakes!

- Get the gun out!

- I am!

Come on, hurry up.

Get your gun out. Come on!

Why the hell did you

buy guns in pieces for?

Quit f***in' around.

Get the gun together.

- Don't tell me what to do, pisshead.

- Don't you call me a pisshead.

Hiya, pissheads!

Shakes, are you sure

these are the guys?

Shoot him!

Look out!

Look out, Shakes!

Look out!

Oh, my God!

Suck butt, fudge pants!

- I'm gonna get me a couple of 'em.

- Yeah! How'd that feel, Shakes?

- Where'd they go?

- They're coming up here right now.

They're coming.

There they are.

That's them! They're pulling up

right alongside of us!

- All right, I'm gonna get 'em.

- You wanna play some more, party clown?

Hand me the pie.

- The what?

- The pie!

Get that gun out of my face, Ty.

- Then where the hell am I...

- Don't point it down there! Sh*t!

Grab the wheel! Grab the wheel!

Oh, sh*t!

Stop it!

Goddamn. Stop it.

Get out.

Jesus Christ!

Where's Judy?

You stupid f***!

Where is she?

Where's Judy?

What did you do with her?

I don't know.

You gotta believe me.

Like you didn't try

to f***in' kill me.

We thought you could frame us

for killing Cheese. We didn't do it!

Who killed Mr. Cheese?

Binky.

Cheese caught him doin' drugs.

So he went nuts

and killed the guy.

You gotta believe me, man.

You gonna be okay?

Yeah.

Come on, guys!

Let's go get Binky!

All right, kids, listen up.

Hey, knock it off.

What are we gonna do

when we see Binky the clown?

No, I don't think so.

You're gonna have to be more enthused

when you see Binky.

You guys know

about sharing, right?

That's what we want...

an 8.9 Nielsen share.

It's an adult kind of thing.

We're older.

We know what's funny.

That's why we're helping you out with

this little deal here. Super? Good.

So how's it gonna happen?

That's it. You're getting it.

Give it up. Come on.

What does it say? Harder.

Give it up!

Come on! Do it! Come on!

That's good. A little more.

Don't hold back.

Three, two... Binky!

Good morning, kids

I'm up with the sun

It's time for games

Laughs and cartoon fun

Come on and join in!

Binky's my name

I'm livin' life in the fun lane

So hop on board

The Cartoon Circus train

Whoo-whoo

Come on with Binky now

Come on

Dance with Binky, kids! Come on!

It's a fun-a-delic show

No other show can match it

Binky cartoon fever

Catch it

Yeah!

Just get in.

See? I told you it was Binky.

What? You're the only one

who still thinks it's Shakes.

- No.

- No, you... Hey!

- Get in the car!

- What's wrong with you?

- When are you gonna admit you're wrong?

- I'll never admit that, because I'm not.

You'll wake up one morning and say,

"It's time for me to admit I was wrong."

And I'm gonna be there

when it happens.

Hey, fellas. What say we go for

a little stroll, if you don't mind.

Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Whoo!

That was a lot of fun!

Another fun thing that we like to do

on the Cartoon Circus...

is make new friends.

I have a new friend

I'd like you to meet...

boys and girls at home

and in the studio today.

My new assistant...

The lovely

Lovely, lovely

Clown Judy

Say hi to Judy, everybody.

We're gonna try something with Judy.

These are knives.

Remember, you might want

Mom and Dad to help you...

Whoa!

I have got butterfingers today.

Oh, boy.

We're gonna try it anyway.

Like some of you at home...

Clown Judy

has not always been this...

helpful!

- You guys wanna get in the trunk?

- Don't ask 'em. Tell 'em!

If you ask 'em,

they'll say "no."

All right, all right.

Get in the f***in' trunk.

Shakes!

Don't worry, Judy.

I hardly ever miss.

Sorry about that.

Gonna be hearing from the union

about that tomorrow.

You piss me off.

You know why you piss me off?

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