Shanghai Noon Page #5

- [ Gasps ]

-[Wang] What's going on ?

- Well.

- You !

- If it isn't the Shanghai Kid.

Here.

[ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]

[Coughing]

Thank you.

Ahh.

Thank you.

Uno mas ?

[Woman Screams]

- [ Groaning ]

-John, come on. We gotta get going.

- The marshal's downstairs.

- No, no, Marshal's in there.

Oh, man, John.

What'd you do to him ?

- Come on. Let's get going.

- No !

- I don't wanna ride with you.

- Come on, John.

Damn, you're a mean drunk.

- Hi, horsey !

- All right. Shh, shh, shh.

- All right, it's time for a "yee-haw."

- Yee-what ?

Shh, shh, shh.

Roy O'Bannon special.

We jump off, land on the back

of the horse, yell "yee-haw..."

and ride off,

all right ?

Watch me and do exactly as I do it.

Yee-haw !

Yee-haw !

[ Groans ]

Okay, hyah ! Hyah !

- Hyah ! Where's the head ?

-John !

-John, get up !

- [ Horse Burps ]

[ Panting ]

Tie 'em up.

What happened to my horse ?

Is he dead ?

No, but we are, John.

- Hi, horsey. You sleeping ?

- Get up.

Hmm.

Mighty impressive hardware

you're packin'.

Why don't you get your eyes off

my package, you twisted son of a b*tch.

[ Groans ]

- I hope that's him leaving.

- Your turn.

Thank you,

Mr. Van Cleef.

Well, well.

What have we here ?

Mr. O'Bannon, I presume.

Can I get a drink of water ?

I got cotton mouth. Aah !

-[Groaning]

- Don't mention it.

And this must be

the famous Shanghai Kid.

- Chon Wang ?

- Lo Fong ?

You remember

your old comrade-in-arms ?

- Hmm ?

- I remember a traitor.

[O'Bannon]

I'm sensing some bad blood here.

- Where is the gold ?

- Where's Princess Pei Pei ?

- [ Groans ]

-[O'Bannon] Stop.

Come on. We're men.

We're not pinatas.

Okay ? And we're

really hung over.

We 're not trying

to be tough guys.

- You wanna talk about the gold,

let's talk about the gold.

- So, you have my gold ?

- Your gold ?

- Yes, we have the gold.

- Then where is it ?

- The gold's in a safe place.

- [ Grunts ]

- Is he telling the truth ?

No.

Ow ! Nice, John. Way to go.

Way to think on your feet.

He cannot lie.

He is bound by Imperial decree.

Imperial decree.

- When are you gonna learn

you're not in China any more ?

- [ C*cks Weapon ]

He will never learn.

He can only follow orders.

At least I still have

my honor.

Slaves have no honor.

-[Wang] No ! No !

- Hey !

Now you can never

go back to China.

[ Panting ]

You blew it.

Whoo ! You blew it, man.

You do not want to cut

his hair off, trust me.

Nothing personal, boys.

My loyalty

is to the emperor.

Yeah, John, I heard

all about the emperor.

Must be a hell of a man.

He's only 1 2.

Are you kidding me ? You're sitting here

with a noose around your neck...

ready to die for someone whose balls

haven't even dropped ?

By virtue of the authority vested

in me through the territory of Nevada,

I do hereby order these men

to hang by their necks...

until their feet

quit kicking.

[ Cheering ]

You're goin' to hell, boys,

and your horses

are taking you there.

[ Chuckling ]

Tighten 'em up.

[Crowd Chanting]

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em !

[Crowd Laughing]

-[Chanting Continues]

- Hey ! Watch it, you little punk.

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

Hang 'em ! Hang 'em !

-[ Snorts ]

-[Wang Smacking Lips, Clicking Tongue]

- [ Whistling ]

-John, what are you doing ?

[ Chuckles ]

-[Wang Whistles]

- [ Whinnies ]

[ Screaming, Shouting ]

What the hell is goin' on here ?

Stop those horses !

Stop them !

Pull it !

Pull it !

[ Both Yelling ]

- I'm back in the saddle again

- Help me !

I'm back

I'm back

in the saddle again

Well, don't just stand there !

Go after them !

Will you listen

to this creek, John ?

I've never noticed

what a beautiful melody a creek makes.

I've never taken

the damn time.

Look at these mountains

and these trees.

Hell, look at these green trees.

Come here. I don't even know the names--

We're gonna learn the names

of these green trees. Come here.

I want you

to look at these.

Can we not--

John, what are you doing ?

Are you still worried

about your hair ?

John, listen to me.

You're very vain.

By the time you're 70,

your queue, your ponytail...

will be as good as new.

- What are you doing ?

- I'm leaving.

Can we not take two seconds, John ?

We just cheated death.

Come on. Let's look at

these mountains for a second.

- Okay, let me get my stuff.

God, you're unbelievable.

- I'm going alone.

What are you-- John,

what are you talking about ?

- I heard you.

- You heard me. Okay.

At Goldie's.

You said

I wasn't your friend.

John--

Hold on a second, John.

I was talking to a girl.

- It was-- That's taken

out of context. That's not--

- Roy.

You were right.

How could I ever be your friend ?

I'm just a Chinaman.

Hold on, John. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it to--

Sayonara, Roy.

[Explosion]

[Explosions Continue]

Wait here.

Please.

[Pei Pei] You have come a long way.

I hope the princess

you seek...

is worthy

of such devotion.

It is my duty

to bring her home.

I even brought her favorite book.

[ Chuckles ]

That's very kind of you.

But what if you found

the princess...

and she did not wish to go back to

the Forbidden City ?

Why would she want

to stay here ?

Maybe she can do more

for the people here...

than she could back in China.

Princess Pei Pei.

Please,

don't draw attention.

Please.

Stand up !

Princess, you have

to come with me.

I cannot.

Fong cannot find me missing.

Princess,

I cannot leave you here.

[Pei Pei] Please, standup !

Don't bow !

Get up !

Get up !

You must go.

If I leave, Fong

will begin to kill the others.

It is my duty

to bring you home.

I command you to go.

- [ Whinnies ]

- Go !

Go !

Reach for the sky,

baldy !

That's right.

It's Roy.

Am I interrupting ?

I followed you.

So what ?

What am I supposed to do, let you

wander off ? You're a greenhorn.

- You'll get killed out here.

-[Gunfire]

Come on ! We gotta adios

out of here, partner ! Come on !

Hyah !

You gotta stick with me.

Don't forget, we got

a princess to save.

[Bell Tolling]

[Tolling Continues]

[Tolling Stops]

Give my regards

to the emperor, Princess.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

- Chon Wang ?

- Chon Wang ?

- Chon Wang ?

-[Weapon C*cks]

- That's right, Johnny Wayne is here.

Hey, it's me.

Why did you cut his hair ?

I tried to warn you,

But you wouldn't listen.

- Go on, drop the gun.

-[Gun Clatters ]

Now, slide it over.

Is that her ?

She's pretty.

Grab her.

Come on.

We'll take it from here, guys.

John, what--

John, get up.

What are you--

I thought we were past this.

- Come on, John.

- [ Speaking Chinese ]

Do you see ?

He will always be a slave.

[Chinese Continues]

This is the West,

not the East.

And the sun may rise...

where we come from,

but here is where it sets.

You want me to translate ?

The princess stays.

The princess stays.

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