Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda Page #3

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- No, no, no. This animal is harmless.

- It has not been created to kill.

- No, it was born to kill.

Yesterday we lost control of an agent,

now it's a national security risk.

So... what did this agent do?

Kill a bunch of people, then if flew off.

We need to borrow Sharktopus

to try to bring it back.

Assuming, of course, he's for hire.

Well, this is a business, no?

But I don't think my niece will go along.

Your niece?

Yeah. Lorena. She's very protective.

She is very clever.

She... she went to the university.

She's the only one in this world

who can make it to do tricks.

Well, you know, your niece,

I'm sure that her

academic accomplishments

would probably earn

her a bumper sticker,

but I doubt there's anything that she

can do that I can't with this creature.

I've already come up with

a plan of how to control it.

I... I'm waiting.

We need a place to go over these.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course. Come.

This is an earlier prototype that injects

the neurotransmitters right

into the creature's brain.

Now we don't need remote control.

It's got a one track mind to

seek and destroy Pteracuda.

Of course, you're gonna want to sedate

this thing before you implant the device.

But then, after that, all you gotta

do is follow these instructions.

- Me?

- Yeah.

- Where are you gonna be?

- I'm gonna be in my car

with the engine running. I'm not

gonnabe anywhere near this sucker.

Over here.

There. This should do it.

Where is this thing?

Son of a b*tch!

So, is this thing out?

- Good morning, Uncle.

- What are you doing here?

I'm always here for his

eight o'clock feeding.

Wait, what is he doing?

- Hey. Hey!

- Lorena.

What do you doing?

Who gave you permission?

- Lorena.

- No, he can't do that!

- What's going on?

- It's good, Lorena. Honey

they are professionals!

What? What? Stop!

- Lorena, please. They are... they...

- What?

- Veterinarians.

- Yeah, right!

And remember, the exact

position of the needle

is directly over the interior

lobe of the cerebral cortex.

You wanna come down here

and do this yourself?

Lorena!

Lorena!

Stop!

Lorena, they paid me more money

than a sane man can imagine!

It's the trainer. She's not on board.

You sure your truck is big enough?

I don't want this thing falling

out on the way to the pier.

You're letting it go?

- Lorena. Lorena, please! Lorena!

- I'm calling the cops.

You better listen to him.

Oh, God! You smell

worse than you look.

You don't understand!

Don't worry, Lorena.

Doctor Symes knows what he is doing.

- Shut up!

- Hey! Are you kidding me?

Let me out! Let me out!

Take care of it, eh?

So... are you going to bring it back?

Yeah, yeah, I'll bring it back.

I'll bring it back in one piece. Or pieces.

Hey!

Eh... So as to my...

Right here.

Okay? And you remember,

we were never here.

Sure, sure.

Ham, let's roll.

Trust me, pal, you're gonna

love this. It's the most

- peaceful thing in the world,

- Come on, guys!

The bottom of the ocean.

- Hurry up!

- Everything's blue and calm.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

You know... I'm not so sure.

Can you go without me today?

There's no backing out now.

It's not like anyone's died.

At least not this week.

See you squids at the wreck.

Remember, just follow us,

and I promise you're gonna have

the best time in your life... ever! Huh?

Okay, let's do this thing.

That's my girl! Come on, let's go!

Target's engaged.

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

I thought we were

rooting for the other one.

Nah.

Pick up, damnit!

Hello.

Rick? Thank God I got you.

They set it free.

I have no idea where they went.

- My uncle locked me in a closet!

- Can someone

put this in the Lost and Found?

You have to help me,

Rick! Rick, are you there?

Oh!

- Rick!

- Slow down, Lorena.

I can't understand

a word you're saying.

They set it free.

- Wait, they did what?

- They just took him.

- When?

- I don't know, a few hours ago.

I don't have time to explain.

You have to shut down the bay.

Shut down the bay?

- Do you know how long that will take?

- Shut down the bay!

You have to do this, Rick.

People's lives are at stake!

Okay, okay, I'll do what I can.

What about you?

I don't know. I'm gonna try to get

him back before it's too late.

Lizzie sweetie, what are you

checking out that phone for?

You should be feasting your

eyes on this treasure right here.

Excuse me, I'm your assistant,

and my name's not Lizzie.

I pay you top scratch.

I'll call you what I want.

Have you heard about the Sharktopus?

They say he may be in the area.

Oh, Sharktopus!

Sharktopus! He so scary!

Hey!

Hey, watch it! I'm Conan O'Brien!

Yeah, whatever.

I'm an icon! I'm on cable television!

One call to my agent and...

- You got it?

- Yeah.

Attention! You must

evacuate the shore!

This water is closed! We have reports

of a shark and... and an octopus.

A Sharktopus.

Oh, man! How much longer

do we have to wait?

As long as it takes. Stories like this

don't come along every day.

Mutant creature, crooked owner...

with the right report,

and a healthy dose of cleavage,

this could be my ticket to the big time.

You see all these are Emmy pumps.

Hey, that's the trainer!

Miss Christmas! Veronica Vegas,

Chanel Three News.

What's your position

to wards yesterday's attack?

No comment.

Is Sharktopus a danger to the public?

Come on, give me something!

Symes. I think he said

his name was Symes.

- Did you get that?

- Of course I got it!

Who's Symes?

Don't get close to the water!

Hey! How about this?

The botanical gardens!

The website says they have over

a hundred species of hibiscus!

I give up.

You don't wanna go shopping,

and you refuse to go near the ocean!

After yesterday, do you blame me?

Hey, Mom, look how high it is!

Yes, baby.

Hey, look. I'm gonna get you.

So, what do you wanna do...

sit around the resort

all day staring at me?

No! I wanna sit around all

day and stare at the pool boy.

Mom!

- What's her deal?

- I don't know! Ask her!

Never mind!

How's it going?

Not good. The Pteracuda

just keeps flying out of range.

Can't you tell it where to go?

I can tell it where to take a dump

if I could get the control

systems operational.

I have a feeling it's not

just a simple malfunction.

Look.

I managed to download the

security footage from the lab.

You find out what went wrong?

I have a pretty good idea.

Ha. Stop it right there.

Well, well... Vlad, you slimy little...

And now to breaking news.

We go to Veronica Vegas

on location at El Diablo Beach.

Well, Ron, the bay seems

calm at the moment.

The creatures seem to have gone.

Still, authorities have requested

that all citizens stay indoors.

Veronica, can you gives us

a recap of what happened.

Yes. Yes. Just a few more moments.

Once the link appears, then I can

begin uploading the test mission.

All right.

Done. And then this.

This birdie's gonna hum

like Leningrad pigeon.

...engaged in mortal combat

between themselves.

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