Shorts Page #3

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Let's do something.

We've been through this before.

There's nothing else to do.

Come play video games with us.

We need a third person.

Let's go on an outdoor adventure.

There's a huge thunderstorm. Look.

The biggest rainstorm in Texas history.

Well, folks, it looks like we're...

That's strange.

It's raining everywhere else.

What the?

Outside! Bring the treasure map!

Wait a minute, guys.

What are we gonna do about Baby?

It's in baby monitor mode.

If she wakes up,

I'll hear it on my Black Box...

...and we'll come back

and give her a bottle.

Huh.

I don't get it.

What happened to the storm?

Maybe it's global warming.

This sucks.

Even my brain feels hot.

I read once

that yawning cools the brain.

Well, just keep talking

and I'll start yawning for sure.

Look at that!

You know what's at the end

of a rainbow, don't you?

- Skittles?

- No, a pot of gold!

Treasure!

- Awesome!

- Let's go!

- Guys, look. It's the end of the rainbow.

- No way.

Or the beginning of the rainbow.

What?

This rock wasn't here before.

What if the rain dropped

the rock from the sky...

...and the sun comes out,

hits the rock...

...creating this prismatic separation

of the light from the sun...

...thus causing a rainbow.

Okay, Dr. Dumb Butt.

Feels powerful.

What do you think it is?

I wish I knew.

It's a wishing rock.

How do you know?

It just told me.

Okay, then, wish for something.

I wish for a never-ending supply

of chocolate bars.

Huh?

Well, there's one.

And another and another.

And two more. And another.

- Cool. A never-ending pocketful of candy.

- Do you realize what we have here?

- Lots of chocolate.

- No. This is...

- Hey.

- This is mine.

It was my idea to go on an adventure,

so the wishing rock belongs to me.

Don't make any wishes, Loogie.

We don't even know the rules yet.

I mean, that thing doesn't even

come with any instructions.

Yeah, no strategy guide,

cheat codes, or nothing.

I wish for the instructions.

We can't read all that.

I wish for the short version

of the instructions.

What's it say?

Pfft. "Make a wish."

Then I wish for a fortress.

With a canyon around it

filled with man-eating crocodiles...

...and venomous snakes

to protect the Rainbow Rock from thieves.

Whoa!

How about putting an end

to global warming?

World hunger?

- Wish for world peace.

- Yeah.

Let me finish my canyon of doom first.

People would kill for this.

Not if there's world peace!

I was about to wish for superpowers.

I think one of us has to go get it.

Well, you wanted an adventure, didn't you?

What'd you wish for again?

Snakes? Crocodiles?

I think that's all.

You don't like my canyon?

Does it need more doom?

Hey, look. It's the rock.

Finally.

Loogie.

- Almost got it.

- No, it's almost got you.

What? Aah!

Run, Laser, run!

Remind me to wish for something big!

- What for?

- So I can smack you with it!

What do I do?

If it was a video game,

you'd go get the rock.

- Good idea.

- But it's not a video game.

Loogie!

I wish the snakes would disappear.

Did he chew?

No. But he ate my homework.

And I think I felt him make a wish.

What would a crocodile possibly wish for?

He's already strong, fast...

...and he can run on all four legs.

Guys, I think I know what he wished for.

- Run!

- Aah!

- Oh, no! We'll never make it!

- Yes, we will.

Guys, keep running.

Get us out of here.

I wish something would take us away.

A pterodactyl?

Couldn't you have been more specific?

Hey, I didn't know.

You're always wishing for wrong stuff.

Thanks a lot, Loogie.

At least we're safe up here.

I don't get it.

How did they climb out of the canyon?

Holy peanut-butter cups.

- Great, now the baby's crying.

- We gotta get back. Wish us home.

If I wish for superpowers,

I could get them to fall off.

Hurry it up, whatever you do.

I wish I had telephonesis.

Telekinesis, you dummy!

I wish I had telekinesis.

Phew. Okay.

We have a castle, telekinesis

and a pterodactyl.

Now what?

I don't know.

Wish for a hat?

Gotta think about this more carefully.

I wish we could just go back home

and start over.

It's too dangerous to have around.

We gotta keep it

out of the wrong hands.

Your hands are the wrong hands.

Change your head back, Loogie.

- This has certain advantages.

- What advantages?

Hello?

All right. I wish the phone was gone.

Loogie, we need to be smart about this.

Then that's the answer.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

I wish one of us was super smart.

It is I.

My modes of transference

are beyond yours now.

I don't need words to communicate.

Only thoughts.

You're hearing me with your minds.

You're right.

I wish for a...

...catapult.

- Think of all the things we could do.

- Too risky.

- We could...

- Too dangerous.

- How about...

- Too ridiculous.

Although we did have ourselves

quite the adventure there, didn't we?

We could take care of

that world-peace problem.

- Now you're talking.

- Yeah.

My calculations show you would've

figured out a way to screw it up.

Who, us?

Yes.

So maybe

the baby was smart to get rid of it.

But it didn't really matter...

...because the rock kept coming back.

Get me a rock!

- Where's my rock?

- Here.

I'm sorry. I'm still not getting

the order of this story correctly...

...so I'm gonna jump on over

to this short...

...with that weird kid

I was telling you about...

...a kid everyone calls "Nose."

Nose and I were in school together.

We were almost friends...

...until his father, Dr. Noseworthy,

the top scientist for Black, Inc...

...started his top-secret research

involving...

...germs.

Unfortunately, Dr. Noseworthy

was terrified of germs...

...and one day, he simply flipped out.

So much so that he and his son, Nose...

...wrapped their house in plastic

and only came out wearing full bio suits.

And that's just how things were:

A little weird.

But like everything else in Black Falls...

...about to get a little weirder.

Welcome to the Noseworthy home.

You will be subjected

to decontamination...

...before entering

our germ-free environment.

You are now receiving

a series of ion blasts...

...to remove any contaminants

from the surface of your body.

Germs invade our bodies

to steal the energy we produce...

...leaving behind harmful toxins that can

cause runny noses, fevers, headaches...

...chicken pox, measles, cavities,

diarrhea, necrotizing fasciitis...

...and in some cases, death.

The decontamination process

is now complete.

You may enter.

And welcome.

They do not pay me enough for this.

Dad?

Didn't I tell you,

don't sneak up on me in here.

Sorry, my tutor is here.

I was just looking for your scientific

calculator. Mine's broken.

Just use your Black Box. Just choose the

scientific calculator function in the menu.

It's next to the cheese grater.

Mine's dead.

I just think there's too many features.

The batteries won't hold a charge...

...for more than a few minutes.

- Tell me something I don't know.

But let me ask you something.

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