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Shotgun Wedding Page #3
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2013
- 92 min
- 759 Views
[ Ted ]
Brother.
Bye.
and I gotta get her
back to her room.
Okay.
We're gonna be brave.
Pensee, have you been
filming this?
[ Pop ]
What in the hell
is this?
[ Rosemary ]
Anyone single, in my opinion,
is a slut.
I want you
to look into this. Ready?
A dick on your face.
He doesn't even--
Excuse me.
Yes?
[ Stammers ]
I hate this
continental breakfast junk.
a little ham steak?
[ Blaze ]
Hey, man. Ted, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Uh, I saw
everything last night.
Oh.
Yeah. And by "saw everything,"
I mean I got it all on tape.
And if I'm not being
too presumptuous,
Flip, Barbara,
I still consider
you both to be family.
- Oh.
- [ Chuckles ]
- [ Chuckles ]
You know, the groom's
target mishap.
Yeah. The chat with his mom.
All on tape.
Pensee? She's either drunk
or hungover.
Even Ted
didn't come home till dawn.
- Whoa.
- [ Man ]
Ooh!
Yeah. And I was just about
to upload it to YouTube.
The only man who could stop me
is old Benjamin Franklin.
Okay, okay.
[ Stammers ]
But you can't say anything
till after the wedding, okay?
If I give you money,
that's like a legal contract.
...for longer
than this guy.
She's a slut.
- Yay!
- [ All Cheering ]
Much appreciated.
You took it.
It's legal.
[ Cheering, Laughing ]
- Robert. Robert!
- Look who's finally
decided to join us.
Thank you. Hey.
Happy couple alert.
Love it!
Can I get you
some breakfast?
No, no. I'm... full.
I'm not hungry.
Couldn't eat today,
to be honest.
[ Woman ]
Too nervous?
[ Chuckles ]
Hey, Robert, do you mind
if I get you hooked up
with a microphone?
Oh. It's Steve, right?
Yeah, Steve.
Yeah, sure. I--
You know, microphone--
Do I really--
Who wants to hear me today,
you know?
[ Blaze ]
all day, all right?
So just forget you're
even wearing it, man.
Have fun out there.
Just leave all
the shooting to us.
All right.
Got all my principals miked.
will be shooting all day,
and in two months,
you will have a feature film
of your magical day.
[ Rosemary ]
Two months?
Incidentally,
I am an award-winning
documentarian.
Took home the jury prize
at the Bakersfield International
Student Film Festival.
No big whoop.
[ Chuckles ]
Big whoop! So--
It's gonna be great.
Robert, honey.
Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.
Okay. So Pensee is--
Hey. Okay.
No, no. Listen.
I'm wearing a microphone,
and these cameras
are shooting us,
so they will hear
everything you will say.
So, what, uh--
What was going on
with Pensee?
How's-- How's the damage
to her car?
Car?
Mm-hmm.
Well, um--
It's a little... dinged?
Uh-huh?
But I-I got it's, um,
face bandaged--
Yeah?
As long as sh--
it doesn't pick at it,
it should be fine.
Maybe we should
take her car
to the shop.
Now?
Yes.
We've got wedding photos
coming up.
Really?
Rosemary!
My goodness,
I am so excited!
Oh, good.
You look so perfect,
like a little
Hummel figurine.
I just want to steal
my fianc for a moment,
if that's okay.
- Yeah.
- Ma'am, may I hook thee up
with a microphone?
You know what?
She doesn't need to be miked.
Yes.
Of course.
No, no, no, no, no.
Of course you get to be miked.
Everyone gets to be
in the movie.
- You just want all
the attention on yourself.
- You know me.
[ Yvette Chattering ]
I'm gonna go mike
your mom up, dude.
Hey. I wanna talk to you
for a second.
Hey.
Okay.
I know what you did
last night.
Staying up all night
Oh, boy, you know.
That's such a terrible idea.
I really shouldn't.
Come on.
I'm just kidding, babe.
Okay.
I'm glad you had fun
with your friends.
Yeah.
I do want to know, however,
where is my maid of honor?
Pensee?
Pensee.
The maid of honor
really should be here
at this special brunch.
Yeah. Where--
She just--
She just had a little bit
too much to drink.
Uh-huh.
She's still in her room.
[ Robert ]
She's hungover.
How irresponsible is that? Hmm?
You guys are really lucky
that I'm here to cover for her.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go
check on her.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
W-W-W-Wait.
I will come with you.
Yeah.
Oh. Are you--
Okay.
Yeah.
[ Robert ]
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah!
Okay.
Okay.
Hey. So, uh,
did you take care of it?
What?
The--
- Your vows.
- Oh, sh*t. Sh*t.
I gotta--
Okay. Okay.
I gotta get on that.
Gone again?
Man stuff.
[ Yvette ]
Oh, wait. You know, uh--
...is sick. It was
coming out both ends.
And her Aunt Flo
is in town, so--
all three ends.
[ Knocks ]
Pen-- Pensee.
It's Rosemary.
Are you sick, babe?
[ Pensee ]
Oh, Rosemary. Oh, my God.
Yvette.
I'm out here too.
Hi, Yvette.
Hi.
Let me come in--
No, no, no, no, no.
You don't need anything,
do you?
- You'll be better in time
for the photos, right?
- Uh--
Pensee? You just stay
in there like a good girl.
You drink lots of water.
You do not let anyone
in the room.
You don't want anyone
to see the way your--
uh, your condition
is looking.
[ Chuckles ]
Okay?
Okay.
Love you, dear.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah. You're fine.
She is going to be fine.
Hey, everyone out there
in Pensee land.
Like a goof, I got hurt
at the wedding weekend.
I don't want to make a scene
or do anything stupid, so,
I'm gonna sneak out the window
and run through the woods
to the highway...
and then take a taxi
to the hospital.
And I'm bringing you all
along with me, guys.
Wish me luck!
[ Kisses ]
[ Sighs ]
You know. It's, uh--
Everything happens for
a reason, even accidents.
There's a thing
called happy accidents,
you know?
It's possible all life
on Earth began
by accident.
Pensee?
Pensee?
This is harder
than I expected.
Oh. Uh--
[ Kicks Door ]
Ow.
[ Groans ]
Oh, God.
Okay.
But I'm sticking to it,
guys.
and find your greatness, right?
Pensee? Pensee!
What on earth
are you doing?
Don't worry.
No one will see.
It's broad daylight!
You come back in here
right now, young lady.
You will ruin everything!
Come in.
No, no.
You come in right now.
Don't pull on it.
Don't you dare.
Come in!
You're the devil
and you know it!
[ Yvette ]
It's my wedding,
and you won't ruin it!
[ Pensee ] It's not
your wedding. It's Robert
and Rosemary's wedding.
[ Yvette ]
Fine! But you're ruining it!
Stop! You're gonna
make me fall!
[ Yelps, Screams ]
[ Yvette ]
Pensee?
[ Groans ]
Oh. You don't want
to go in there.
I have to get
some Pepto.
[ Pop ]
[ Yvette ]
Ted! Ted!
Could you come with me
for a moment, please?
Can you just let me
eat this Danish, please?
This is an emergency.
Mm-hmm.
It's about Pensee's, uh--
diarrhea.
Oh.
It's gotten very messy.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go.
Hurry up.
Oh, my God!
[ Groans ]
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"Shotgun Wedding" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shotgun_wedding_18055>.
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