![Find Shotgun Wedding on Amazon](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMzQ2OTY0OTQ0Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNzIwNTgwMDE@._V1_SX300.jpg)
Shotgun Wedding Page #4
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2013
- 92 min
- 759 Views
Oh, man up, Ted!
Oh. Mmm.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I'll get you a paper bag
in a second.
[ Woman ]
The one thing
I didn't understand...
is that you're
at a wedding this weekend--
Babe. Babe. Stop talking.
Stop. Listen to
what I am saying, okay?
I got this f***in' thing
on my lip.
I don't know what it is.
Go to the computer,
fire up WebMed.
Just-- I'm gonna
shoot the thing on my lip...
and I'm gonna play it back
so I can describe it to you.
I don't know what it is,
and that affects both of us.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's the point, retard.
Thank you.
I don't care about
this thing on your lip.
I'm trying--
F***ing ridiculous.
[ Ted ]
Should we call a doctor?
[ Yvette ]
She's dead.
She can't get any deader.
Should we bury her?
There's no time
for that, Ted.
wanted us to just
hide her corpse.
[ Ted ]
What about that?
Ooh, that's good thinking.
[ Grunts ]
[ Ted ]
Okay. Okay.
Oh, my God.
That is f***ed up.
[ Ted Muttering ]
Get her arm--
Hold on.
Here. Hold on.
Do you have any lotion?
Maybe we could, like,
grease her up.
We'll just cram it down
with the lid.
Just cram the lid down.
I don't-- Oh.
[ Blaze ]
Are they-- Oh, sh--
Is that the cameraman?
Um, excuse me.
Mr. Cameraman?
This isn't what--
Could we talk to you
for a second?
- Grab that rock!
- This rock right here?
What the f***
are you doing?
No, that rock!
Dude, I'm just high.
I just imagined--
What-- What are you doing?
You f***ing--
- [ Blow Lands ]
- Don't run from me.
Stop it!
Come on, man! I'll give you
back the money, dude!
- [ Yvette ]
Get his head.
No. Oh, sh*t!
- [ Blow Lands ]
- [ Groans ]
I had to, right?
He could have had a gun.
You think he may
have a gun, right?
He could have had a-- Right?
Y-Yes. Well, always
best to play it safe.
[ Stammers ]
How am I gonna tell my wife
she married someone...
who hit someone in the head
with a rock and then he died?
Ted.
What?
You're not going
to tell your wife.
I tell her everything.
She knows everything.
It's why she doesn't like me.
Here you are.
I was starting to think
you were ignoring me.
What? No, honey.
I'm just--
I was distracted.
My dad's been looking for you.
He said you guys were supposed
to have a man-to-man talk.
Yeah. Yeah.
You said you were into it.
Yeah, I gotta go see him.
You all right, baby?
Yeah. Excuse me.
I gotta talk to my mom
real fast.
See you at
the wedding photos!
Mom? Mom.
Mom, Mom, Mom.
I'm in the middle
of something.
I can see that, Mom.
Why do you have
an ax?
I got it
off one of the gardeners.
Rodrigo has everything.
Oh, yeah?
That doesn't really
answer my question, Mom.
This doesn't have anything
to do with Pensee's, uh,
car trouble?
Um, y--
It died.
Huh? She--
Pensee's car died.
You said--
You said she was--
it was fine, Mom.
Uh, it was.
Then it fell out a window
and died.
Then one of the cameramen--
Mm-hmm?
His car died too.
What are you
talking about, Mom?
His car--
Yeah?
saw Pensee's car--
Uh-huh.
then wanted
to ruin the wedding,
so Ted...
hit it with a rock.
Oh, Robert.
There you are, my boy.
Oh, hey!
Uh-- Don't worry.
for you.
You just keep
enjoying yourself.
Okay.
Where are the cars
now, Ma?
Everything okay?
Yeah.
No, Judge--
Your Honor. Sir.
Everything's great.
I think it's high time that
you learned to call me Flip.
- Ah. Yes, sir, Flip.
- Whoa.
We are pleased as punch
to welcome you
into the Milton family.
Well, I am honored
to be a part
of your family, sir.
You know what?
Can I just talk to my dad for
one minute, while we're here?
Excuse me real quick.
Hey, Dad?
Mom's, uh--
I need you to watch
out for her, okay?
'Cause she's getting
a little crazy
with her wedding planning.
Robbie. She's always been crazy.
I know that you guys
aren't on good terms
right now, okay?
But I really need you
right now.
Make sure she doesn't
do anything out
of the ordinary, okay?
Yeah. If that's
what you need me to do.
Okay. That's what I need.
[ Milton ]
Uh, Robert? Come on in.
Yeah. Here I come!
- Here I come, Pop!
- Do you know what
they're having for dinner?
[ Robert ] It's kind of weird,
isn't it, having all
[ Milton ]
I have an election
coming up in November, Robert.
Charles Beaumont
is really gunning for my seat,
just waiting for me
to slip up.
[ Loud Clang ]
Okeydokey.
Uh, excuse me.
[ Panting ]
[ Yvette ]
Ted?
I got an ax.
No! I don't want
to cut him up!
The key, I find,
is one must live
one's life in private...
just as honorably
and forthrightly
as one does in public.
That makes sense.
Since I do have
Anything you need
to tell me, Robert?
Any skeletons in the closet?
Your closet?
No. This is man's work,
and this body's too big
to carry around.
Look, we have to make it
look like a Mexican
drug cartel did it.
Isn't that smart?
Come on.
What was that?
Do you hear something?
No. You're just being paranoid.
Come on. Take the ax.
No. Shh.
Oh. Uh--
See-See who it is.
No! I know what that means.
God. I have to do
everything around here.
Shh.
- Oh!
- So this is your room, huh?
Not a good time, Hank.
[ Stammers ]
What the hell
happened to him?
Mmm--
Uh--
Why don't you
just come clean, huh?
I'm gonna find out
the whole truth
about it anyway.
Hank?
Yeah?
You want--
You want your son
to get married, right?
Of course.
Yeah.
Is this guy dead?
[ Stammers ]
And you trust me,
right?
Not particularly.
I had a D.U.I.
when I was 23.
Huge mistake.
Deeply regret it, man.
- Good.
[ Laughs ]
- [ Laughs ]
- I knew all about that.
- Hey!
I was just
giving you a test.
All right!
Now, honey,
chop up this body.
This creepo here, he was--
He was trying to take
this special day...
away from Robbie, you know--
Away from us.
You may be many
not-so-great things,
Hank Fletcher,
but you--
you have always been
a good father.
Robbie--
[ Whispers ]
Robbie needs his daddy
right now.
[ Exhales ]
How small
you want the pieces?
Oh, probably
like 10 total.
I've never
done this before.
I'll start with the legs
and work my way up.
- We shouldn't be doing this.
- Oh, hush, Ted.
Okay. You, uh--
You-- You do it--
[ Ted ]
Oh, God.
Hank.
You know, for--
for Robbie.
[ Muttering ]
Let me just...
get him ready here.
[ Yvette ]
Okay.
[ Grunting ]
Ooh.
Oh, God.
Okay.
This brings back memories
of the farm.
[ Chuckles ]
Cutting a cord of wood
for Dad.
Ooh. Okay.
Here goes nothing.
[ Groans ]
[ Inhales ]
[ Ax Strikes ]
[ Screaming ]
What the hell?
- My God!
You said he was dead!
[ Groaning ]
I'm sorry, buddy.
It's okay.
[ Vomiting ]
You just cut
my f***ing foot off,
Make him be quiet!
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Shotgun Wedding" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shotgun_wedding_18055>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In