Shrek Page #4

SHREK:

What?

PINOCCHIO:

We were forced to come here.

SHREK:

(flabbergasted) By who?

LITTLE PIG:

Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed

and he...signed an eviction notice.

SHREK:

(heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where

this Farquaad guy is?

Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.

DONKEY:

Oh, I do. I know where he is.

SHREK:

Does anyone else know where to find

him? Anyone at all?

DONKEY:

Me! Me!

SHREK:

Anyone?

DONKEY:

Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know!

Me, me!

SHREK:

(sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy

tale things. Do not get comfortable.

Your welcome is officially worn out.

In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad

right now and get you all off my land

and back where you came from! (Pause.

Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey)

You! You're comin' with me.

DONKEY:

All right, that's what I like to hear,

man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart

friends, off on a whirlwind big-city

adventure. I love it!

DONKEY:

(singing) On the road again. Sing it

with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get

on the road again.

SHREK:

What did I say about singing?

DONKEY:

Can I whistle?

SHREK:

No.

DONKEY:

Can I hum it?

SHREK:

All right, hum it.

Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.

DULOC - KITCHEN

A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually

dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.

FARQUAAD:

That's enough. He's ready to talk.

The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down

onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the

table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes

up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.

FARQUAAD:

(he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs

and plays with them) Run, run, run,

as fast as you can. You can't catch

me. I'm the gingerbread man.

GINGERBREAD MAN:

You are a monster.

FARQUAAD:

I'm not the monster here. You are. You

and the rest of that fairy tale trash,

poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell

me! Where are the others?

GINGERBREAD MAN:

Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's

eye.)

FARQUAAD:

I've tried to be fair to you creatures.

Now my patience has reached its end!

Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to

pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)

GINGERBREAD MAN:

No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop

buttons.

FARQUAAD:

All right then. Who's hiding them?

GINGERBREAD MAN:

Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the

muffin man?

FARQUAAD:

The muffin man?

GINGERBREAD MAN:

The muffin man.

Rate this script:4.4 / 130 votes