Sidewalks of New York Page #7

we barely make love.

And we never

just lay around and cuddle.

I know, honey, but I'm sorry.

I'm so busy at work,

and I'm just-

After a while,

things do slow down.

But not for everyone, and I don't

want them to slow down for us.

Why should they?

I'm 30 years old.

I'm not ready

to not have passion in my life.

I know.

I got married 'cause I wanted

to have kids...

...and love and companionship.

The longer we're together, the less

I seem to be getting these things.

So this is about kids?

I mean, yeah, it is about kids,

but it's really more about us.

Well, honey,

I don't want to say anything...

...but compared to most people,

we have a great marriage.

That's what I think.

Oh, God.

What?

Why don't you give me any attention?

Why am I your last priority?

What are you talking about?

I got you flowers.

Honey, come on.

Griffin and I have been

happily married for six years.

I would say that our sex life

is healthy.

It slowed down a little bit,

but we're still passionate.

It's not the sex I miss so much

as the affection.

Annie described your sex life

as passionate. Is that accurate?

No, I would not describe it

as passionate. No, I would not.

I mean, look...

...after a certain amount of time,

things fade.

And anybody who tells you

differently is lying.

If you really think that,

then why don't you say something?

- What should I say?

- I don't know.

I mean, I never liked the guy,

so I would say something like...

"I think you're a selfish,

ignorant misogynist.

I know you're having an affair,

and I want a divorce. "

Who said anything

about a divorce?

You said he came home smelling

of some other woman's p*ssy.

Perfume. I said perfume.

Perfume, p*ssy- whatever.

I know when a guy's having

an affair. That's what he's doing.

You've got a couple of options.

You could divorce the prick.

You could stay

and live with it...

...but that's pathetic.

Or you could...

...have an affair yourself.

Do you think that Harry

has ever had an affair?

I think that's what

that log cabin sh*t was about.

Yeah, he wants

a place to take them.

Why do you stay with him, then?

Or what? Get another divorce?

No way.

God, too much work.

How can you stay with him

knowing he's had an affair?

I don't know.

Because I did the same thing.

You did? Oh, my God!

When? You did?

With my gyno.

Your gynecologist?

Oh, my God.

Isn't that illegal or something?

Are you kidding me?

It's heaven.

Think about it. If there's

one thing that guy knows about-

What does he do?

Annie's problem is

she's an idealist.

She actually believes

all that sh*t about true love...

...and living happily ever after.

She really believes

there are good guys out there.

She just has to remember

that, you know...

...men are like a disease...

...and, unfortunately...

...most onus have already

been infected.

And as far as I can tell...

...there's no cure.

Are you from New York originally?

Yeah. Queens.

That's not really New York,

is it?

No, that's really New York.

In fact, in my book,

that's the real New York.

Why? Where are you from?

The Upper East Side,

born and raised.

The Upper East Side?

That's not really New York.

What does your dad do for a living?

Is he a Wall Street guy?

He's a lawyer.

What does he have to do

with making this a great city?

We, on the other hand-

the bridge and tunnel crowd...

...the outer borough folk-

we're the ones that built this city.

We gave our blood and guts

to this town.

One of my grandfathers

was a sand hog.

Helped build the Lincoln

and Holland tunnel.

Ended up dying of emphysema

from all the dust.

A grandfather worked construction

on a dozen skyscrapers...

...including

the Empire State Building.

Then he falls to his death

when I'm a kid.

My dad was a cop,

got shot twice while on the job.

My mom is a nurse

up at Harlem Hospital...

...still saving lives every day.

So we really gave

something to the city.

Our blood, our guts, our lives.

We're the ones that made it great.

That's a great story...

...but I can trace my ancestors back

to the original Dutch settlers...

...in the 17th century.

In my book, that's as real

a New Yorker as you can get.

If you grew up

in the outer boroughs...

...you have a greater appreciation

of New York...

...than if you grew up in Manhattan.

We grew up sort of seeing

the city from a distance...

...and feeling the pull of it,

longing for it.

So maybe if you grew up here,

you kind of take it for granted.

Jesus, you weren't kidding.

This is a great space.

I thought you'd like it.

Obviously, it's a raw space.

You'd have to build it out.

It'd cost money.

I don't mean to be rude,

but what do you do for a living?

I produce a television show,

Entertainment This Week.

What do you do there?

We go around to movie premieres

and television shows...

...then we interview all these

a**hole celebrities...

...about who they're f***ing and

how much they're getting overpaid...

...then try and help them sell

their latest piece-of-crap product.

- So you really like this job.

- You know what it is?

When I got out of college,

I wanted to be a writer...

...maybe go into journalism

or maybe even be a novelist.

But the only job I could get

was answering phones at the show.

So here it is, ten years later,

I'm making a pile of dough...

...and it's hard to imagine

walking away...

...even though I know

it'd be the best thing for me.

Sounds like my marriage.

So are you writing anything now?

Every time I try and get started,

something comes up from work...

...and I just get distracted.

Maybe one day I'll be in Barnes

& Noble and see one of your books.

And I'll pick it up.

That'd be nice.

So anyway, there's this view

over here I really want you to see.

I'm beginning to think you're not

really looking for an apartment.

You think I'm just using this

as an excuse to flirt with you?

Are you flirting with me?

I was hoping it was obvious, but

I guess I'm not doing a good job.

You did say you were married,

right?

- Yeah.

- That sucks.

- I shouldn't be flirting with you.

- No, you shouldn't.

Well, I should get going.

I gotta get back to the office.

But if I see anything,

I'll call you.

Yeah, 'cause, you know-

All right.

- Okay, bye.

- Call me, though.

So I am going out with the guy

from the video store again tonight.

Oh, second date.

The pressure's on.

So are you gonna

have sex with him?

I don't know.

- Do you think I should?

- I definitely think you should.

This time, give him a little advice.

No more cologne on the balls.

Oh, come on.

It wasn't that bad.

No, it was disgusting.

How many sexual partners

have you had in your life?

Not entirely enough.

But I'm working on it. Right now,

that's what I'm working on.

I think it's seven.

Eight. Is that bad?

I'm 19.

That sounds really bad.

What, are you kidding me?

I'm a 39-year-old man.

How could I possibly remember?

I don't know.

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