Sleeping with the Fishes Page #8

- What?

In using your analogy with

the soup to the chef...

I was the chef,

and Daniel was the big,

fat, cheating chicken.

Lexita.

You know you never

speak ill of the dead.

- You know better than that.

- Speak ill?

I'm... I'm trying to tell

you that he made himself out

to be something that he wasn't.

Smoke and mirrors, Mom.

He cheated, lied about everything, okay?

He lied about our savings.

he lied about his successful business.

When he died, he left me with nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

$4 hair dye.

Well, regardless,

you never talk about someone

who cannot defend themselves.

Okay, see, I knew this was a bad idea.

Somehow, you would spin it around on me,

but so much for the

mother and daughter talk.

I'm just hoping that Mrs. Wasserstein

isn't as closed-minded as you

or else Shari is screwed for life.

It was a risk, but at least you tried.

I told you, Dad.

Hey! Hey! Weird! Right?

What are you doing here?

Hey, look, I'm not the enemy, all right?

I mean, I know you don't wanna talk

to your mom, but you could talk to me.

Sorry, I just don't

wanna talk about it, okay?

Totally.

Totally, I get it.

Um... so, uh...

so I saw that you got a number.

- Huh?

- What?

Well, that boy over there, and...

and I saw him pass you a note.

I... I assumed it was digits.

Sorry.

Are you stalking me?

No! Oh, God, no! No,

no, no! No need to run!

Look, I mean, I was running

before. That's why I'm so sweaty.

I was just doing a jog, and,

you know, poof! Here you were.

So... yeah.

Okay, well, good seeing you, I guess.

Well, I mean, seeing that we're here,

you might as well show me that

mysterious, taboo dress of yours.

Look, I get what you're trying to do,

but there's no way you're

gonna get me to change my mind.

My mom and I won't

even agree to disagree,

and that's just the way it is.

I'm so not going to lose sleep over it.

Oh, wait, but you will.

Eventually... I mean, it's just years.

I'm not sleeping, so...

look, you don't even have to try it on.

I was going to return it tomorrow,

but it sure is pretty.

I guess I can show it to you.

Great, awesome, yay.

It's so pretty.

- You think?

- Yes.

Oh, it would be a shame not to wear it.

I mean, at least once,

in front of all your best friends.

Just think about how

crazy jealous they'd be.

They'd be insanely jealous.

I know.

You gotta try it on, you must.

Yeah.

Just like my sister.

Total "Princess Diaries. "

Turn.

Yeah.

I love it.

Uh, what... what happened?

Hey, no, no, no, no, what happened?

No... what happened?

What happened to the

happy? We were so happy?

I don't know.

I just don't wanna

spend the entire night

worrying about what

my mother is spending

the entire night worrying about.

You know what I mean?

I wish I didn't, but I do, kiddo.

I mean, I would have

chosen another dress,

but I really like this one.

That's because it's perfect.

And, um...

maybe we can just adjust it

to make your mother happy.

Not likely.

Woo-hoo, Shari, I'm back

from my Botox luncheon!

Would you get that look off your face?

You look more surprised than I do.

Shari, I thought

we discussed that dress.

Now, go take it off.

I think she looks awesome in it.

Well, have you taken

a gander at her knees?

I mean, please, let's be honest.

Mrs. Wasserstein, with all due respect,

she's your daughter.

Oh, I'm aware.

37 hours in labor, four

hours tummy tucking.

It's not something you forget

that quickly. I'm just saying.

I thought she was adopted.

What?

I said "labor. "

I meant "laser. "

I had a little laser freshening up.

You know, I wanted to be fabulous

for the unveiling of the baby.

Right.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe

she's okay with the way she looks?

Alexis, she's a teenager. They're

never okay with the way they look

and some of them for good reason.

You know, I'm not one to stick my beak

where it doesn't belong,

but you can quite possibly

be making it worse by calling

attention to her shortcomings.

Alexis, it's

obvious that you're not a mom.

Do you have any idea

what it's like for the...

for the teenagers of

today, for the kids of today

with all the bullying going on?

Well, mothers can be bullies too.

Alexis, I am

just trying to prepare her

for the real world in my way.

It's called good parenting.

Okay. If I may.

This could possibly be the

lowest point in my life.

But, I am begging you, begging

you, to let her wear that dress.

I mean, she likes it, okay?

She wants it, she's happy in it.

Before you walked in, she was spinning!

And not to mention,

I really need this to happen.

I can't go back to L.A., I have

absolutely nothing left there for me.

I know, I know I'm not

a mother, but I have one.

And I will bet just about anything

that all she wants is a

little love and approval.

So, what do you say, huh?

Please?

My dear Alexis,

I had no idea you were this damaged.

Ooh!

Don't take this moment away from her.

Okay, over a dress?

I promise you it's not worth it.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

Listen.

I think what you really

need to concentrate on

is getting laid.

Because it is a much

more rewarding release

than sticking your beak

into other people's business.

What if I added some

ruffles around the trim?

It will cover my knees, and that

way, it's a win-win for all of us.

Yes! Boom! Yeah!

They're just knees.

Good thinking, yes!

Yeah, and anyway, you've gotta feel good

about the fact that they don't

come from your side of the family.

Well...

that might make me feel

a little bit better.

I don't know, I don't

know, I don't know.

I will consider it.

Okay?

So, we're back on?

I can keep planning?

Yeah, but don't think for one second

that if I didn't have more time,

you wouldn't be replaced.

I'm late.

Of course, noted!

You're gonna have a Bat Mitzvah

You're gonna have a Bat Mitzvah.

All right, so,

I know it doesn't look like much now,

but just add balloons, centerpieces,

superheroes, lights, music.

This is all wrong, awful.

The curtains closed on the day

And your colors have all turned

To shades of blue

Outside your window today

All you can see is the rain

The sun is shining on

everyone else but you

You make it somehow

So jump on board now

Get up, get up

Tell me what you're waiting for

Reach out, reach out

I know you've been wanting more

So wake up, wake up

There's a world upon

you waiting for you

All you gotta do is

Get up, get up

Feel the force inside your heart

Reach out, reach out

Ride upon a shooting star...

All right.

Ah, okay!

Wonder Bash

We will do your party

even if you don't have cash

We will swipe your

credit card so, so fast

'Cause we're Wonder Bash.

Come in.

Your father let me in.

I'm sorry I'm so late,

I tried to close down early.

Still not a fan.

Right.

Ahem. Well, um...

so, you know how they say

that there are those people

who star in your life,

and those that are

just background extras?

No.

Oh.

Well, that's what they say.

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