Small Time Crooks Page #8

is just... gorgeous on you.

See? Your influence.

Low key, right?

That's a very

flattering thing to say.

- Ray thinks it's dullsville.

- David?

- Page! -Wasn't her choice of

the Rachmanin off inspired?

- Wasn't it? We loved it. - At first I

thought it might incur my animadversion.

- But soon I realized it was apposite.

- Aha, I think I see drinks.

- Good to see you, David.

- Nice meeting you.

- Thank you very much.

- I love your friends, David.

They're so bright and cultured

and refined. It's another world.

Well, it's a world

I know you'd love to belong to.

- Ah, this looks a lot more civilized.

- Beautiful.

Let's take a seat over here.

Anything we get,

Cody's in for his full share.

That's how it is.

- You know why I respect Cody Jarrett?

- Why?

- Because he loves his mother.

- I can understand that, May.

Because even though he's a vicious,

coldblooded, psychopathic killer...

...and she encourages him,

still it's sweet.

Yeah, has a sweetness.

I wish I had a mother like that.

- More Pepsi?

- Yeah, please.

And this is the best part, isn't it?

I love this part.

Will you pass me

the Cracker Jack?

What is it?

What are you looking at?

I happen to be noticing you. I was looking

at you a couple of times tonight...

...'cause for the first time

I had the thought...

...that in a very strange way,

you got a sweet face.

It's offbeat, you know,

in a kind of bizarre, you know...

It's... I don't know how to explain it

exactly, but it's right up there.

What do you mean?

I mean it as a compliment.

I'm sayin' a nice thing to you.

'Cause you being a relative

of Frenchy...

...I never before classified you as a,

you know, a human-type female, so...

I was married.

I know, I know.

This was a long time ago, right?

It was a really tragic story.

My husband, Otto,

was dyslexic...

...and the only thing he could

spell correctly was his name.

Oh! That is... That's...

There's no doubt about it.

The Burgundy really goes to my head.

- Yeah.

- What did you want to talk to me about?

I've, um, I've got

a little present for you.

- For me?

- Yeah. Here.

Ohh! Pretty!

I love leather books.

Oh, Pygmalion!

I love that story, David.

There's, um...

You see a little inscription there?

"To my favorite Eliza, from your

Professor Higgins. Love, David."

- Gee, I got a confession to make.

- What?

I got you a present too.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

No, you didn't have to do that.

It's in appreciation of all the stuff

you've been doin' for me...

...'cause I know it's a hard job.

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Frenchy!

This is...

- Frances!

- Frances, this is...

It must've cost you a fortune.

What good's having dough

unless you spend it, huh?

Well, I know,

but this is so extravagant.

I'm embarrassed.

I'm not suggesting you take up smoking,

but I figured, you know...

...what's good enough

for the Duke of Windsor, right?

Well, I'm really overwhelmed.

And I feel, you know,

my little pathetic Bernard Shaw...

...is so insignificant by

comparison to this. - No!

But you see,

I just wanted you to know...

...how unbelievably proud I am of you.

- This is not insignificant.

Maybe I'm talking out

of turn here, but...

...you've just developed so much,

and I just feel, you know...

...you belong in a world

of society and high culture now.

It's frustrating, because you

should continue growing, you know.

You should be branching out,

you should be traveling.

There's Paris and Rome and the great

opera houses and the museums, you know.

You should be in a position

to cultivate the right kinds of friends.

Anyway, I'm, you know, bif.

It's hard, you know,

'cause Ray's not like that.

He likes to watch TV

in his underwear, suckin' a Bud.

Yeah. Well, that... I don't know

what to say. I can't comment on that.

- Can I be frank, David?

- Mm-hmm.

Sometimes I think I've outgrown him.

- Pretty late.

- Yeah, you too. What did you do?

I, you know, I worked late...

...and then May and me

had some Chinese food.

You and May! What'd you talk about

over dinner? Cartoons?

Are you kiddin'?

We went up to her apartment.

- We watched White Heat on television.

- Till 3:
00 a.m.?

No. Then we went out

and we got a pizza.

Chinese food and a pizza?

With your stomach,

I'm surprised you weren't shot...

...breaking into

the Pepto-Bismol factory.

No, Frenchy, I had fun. It was the first

time in along time I had a good time.

- I want to talk to you, Ray.

- Now?

David's going over

to Europe for a month.

I thought we might go along,

see some sights.

What kind of sights?

You know, churches,

opera houses, ruins.

What are you, a stroke victim?

I'm gonna fly 3,000 miles

to see opera houses and ruins?

- Well, I wanna go.

- What do you mean, you wanna go?

- It's part of my cultural development.

- Will you knock it off?

You're Frenchy Fox from New Jersey.

Stop puttin' on airs.

David thinks that it would be good

for me to travel through Europe.

I get a bad vibe about this guy.

Because you're a crook,

so you think everybody is.

I wish I still was a crook, then

I'd feel like an actual person again.

I warned you that this would happen

if you didn't grow along with me.

The only thing that's grown about you is

your rear end from too much French food.

I'm sorry, Ray,

but I wanna go to Europe.

What do you mean? We're married.

You can't just go to Europe with David.

I asked you to come.

'Cause you knew I'd say no.

That's why you asked me.

My idea of fun is not goin' to operas

and ruins. I get enough sleep at home.

I never thought I'd be

saying this to you, Ray...

...but maybe the time has come

to reevaluate our marriage.

If you go to Europe

with David...

...you're gonna have

to reevaluate it big time.

I'm going! I won't be

held back mentally...

...by some overaged

juvenile delinquent.

- Then you better go get yourself a

lawyer. - We don't need lawyers.

I'll go fifty-fifty with you

even though it's all in my name.

You're right. We don't need lawyers.

Exactly right, because...

You don't have to go fifty-fifty.

I don't want anything.

You can have the house, the business,

custody of all the chocolate chips.

I just want out.

You know, May, it was on a boat

that I first proposed to Frenchy.

Yeah, I know.

All of a sudden, I'm not her type

after all these years.

- May I tell you something?

- What?

You're not my type either.

What does that mean?

What the hell does that mean?

It means that maybe Frenchy...

...wasn't so wrong to try

and make something out of her self.

- Frenchy was nuts! Frenchy overdid

everything. - You underdo everything!

You know, there's more to life

than turkey meatballs.

I don't know what to say, May.

I get a bad vibe about this guy, David.

It's my street instinct,

but I just don't trust him.

Yeah, I know why.

Because he's younger than you are,

handsomer than you are...

...he's much taller than you are,

he's smarter than you are...

...he's much more exciting

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