Small Time Crooks Page #9

than you are...

May, don't feel obligated to pull

any punches with me. I can take it.

You know, women like a little elegance.

It's more romantic.

So if I had it to do over again,

I would do some things differently.

Maybe I'd sit through a couple

of more operas with Frenchy...

...especially now since they got

the new Sony Walkmans.

Now that you split up with Frenchy,

you don't even work.

No, I don't work, May, but I got

an idea for something...

...and I wanna talk

to you about it.

Really?

Wow! What a place!

That's the home of Chi Chi Potter,

the socialite.

Chi Chi Valezquez Potter.

Now, Chi Chi's got a necklace.

It's all emeralds with diamonds

around it. It's a very famous necklace.

May be you saw it in a magazine.

They photograph it all the time.

- Would it have been on television?

- I don't know.

But it's been in magazines. It's

a famous necklace. I wanna go in there.

I could live off that necklace

if I fence it for the rest of my life.

But you gott a remember what happened

when you tunneled into the bank.

But that's the beauty part.

We don't have to tunnel anymore.

Now, Frenchy and I,

we're patrons of the arts.

So Chi Chi invited us to a big party

there in a couple of weeks.

Frenchy's out of town.

You come with me, we get the necklace.

Oh, uh, see, I never

heisted anything before.

There's nothing to it.

I know where the safe is.

Because this has been on my

mind for a while.

I had dinner over there one night,

and I excused myself.

I was very crafty. I went upstairs,

and I checked out the place.

I scoped it all out,

and I found the safe.

I got the whole layout in my mind

up there, so I know we can do this.

I don't wanna wind up in jail. If this

is... Wait. If this is such a big item...

...then they're gonna be turning the

town upside down looking for it.

No. That's why you're dealing with

a particularly shrewd mentality.

I got a connection

in Chinatown.

I bring in a picture that I got

from a magazine of the necklace.

He makes me an exact duplicate.

I switch.

She never knows what happened.

She's, you know...

Chi Chi's a dumb, flighty

society dame. She's crazy.

By the time she figures out there's a

switch, two years from now or something...

...I'll be in Florida

or The Cayman Islands.

Hello? What?

- I can't hear you. What?

- Shh.

- I'm in a crypt! I can't...

- Please.

What do you mean?

What are you talking about?

How? Would you gimme

a break, Sister? Okay?

What? Today?

Look, what do you mean

it's an emergency?

- Oh, hi.

- Mrs. Winkler?

We're so sorry to bring you

back from your vacation.

- What the hell's goin' on, fellas?

- I have terrible news.

- Something's happened to Ray?

- Sunset Enterprises is bankrupt.

- How?

- Fraud.

- Fraud? Who?

- Your accountants.

My accountants. I don't

even know who they are. What?

You should've looked.

We let them handle everything.

What the hell do I know

about running a corporation?

Did you ever read any thing

you signed?

No, but they assured us

everything was okay.

May I get you a drink?

I'd like a 1961 Romanee St. Vivant

if we have it.

I'd have a whiskey

if I were you.

Well, I don't understand.

I mean, Sunset's gone?

Can't we do anything?

You might be able to put a few people

in jail if we could find them.

Oh!

This is the worst news.

Oh, no, no.

Mrs. Winkler, it's not.

No?

Well, it is to me!

No, no, no.

The worst news is coming up.

Oh. All right.

All right.

You better tell me.

Let me sit down.

They spoke to you

about expanding Sunset.

That's right. We've been

planning it for months. Yeah.

In order to do that, you needed

a bank loan. Are you aware of that?

- Quite a substantial loan.

- Get to the point.

They asked you to sign

a promissory note to the bank.

You're speaking to the wrong person.

This is what I got accountants for.

Yes, but unfortunately

your accountants are in Venezuela.

Wh...

This is all so confusing.

Frances, you put up your home and

savings as a note for a monster loan.

Could you put a touch of cyanide

in here? It needs to be stronger.

You've lost it all, Frenchy.

Or should I say, you've been

swindled out of it all?

- You mean, I got...

- Nothing.

Mrs. Winkler, you have nothing.

No house, no bank account.

Just a couple of large,

outstanding loans...

...which we feel you can best deal

with by filing for bankruptcy.

Bankruptcy? Bankruptcy?

- I'm not up to the "B" words yet.

- Sorry.

Does Ray know about this?

What difference does it

make to Ray? He's gone.

What did you say?

I'm bankrupt.

Sunset's gone. Worse.

All my personal dough is gone.

The whole ride's over.

Well, how...

- I mean, how could that possibly happen?

- Fraud. My accountants.

Oh, Ray said not to trust them

because the whole firm had mustaches.

I'm, I'm gonna get myself

a little Valium.

David, I'm not gonna be able

to give you that loan I promised you.

What did you say?

Suddenly it turns out

I got people I owe.

I know, but you did say

that I could borrow $400,000.

- I was using it to cement a deal.

- I know, and it kills me!

It kills me to cop out on you like this,

but I'm busted. I'm flat.

- What an idiot.

- I guess I am. Yeah.

How could you be so stupid

and irresponsible...

...as to allow some patently cheap,

thieving accountants...

...to defraud you

out of a future?

I just don't understand

how anyone could be that stupid.

Aren't you

a little out of line?

Well, you know I've made plans.

I've made commitments to people.

Wow.

You've got a strange look in your eye

like the guy from the book.

Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde or Ted Bundy.

I can never remember.

Think of the time I've put in nurturing

an idea that's not gonna happen.

Is that what it was?

The money?

I, I need... I need my prescription.

I need my little blue pills.

So I'm gonna go

and get them...

...and I would very, very much appreciate

it if when I came back, you were gone.

Than kyou.

David, if you wouldn't mind...

...I'd like the cigarette caseback.

- I don't think so, my love.

Wow.

I asked you for lessons in life.

I guess I really got one, right?

Oh, we're so glad you could come!

- How are you?

- Good.

Langston wants to talk to you

about a theater project in Aspen.

- Do you ski?

- Me? No, never. Never.

- Do either of you play miniature golf?

- Oh, there's Binky!

- Oh, hello!

- Oh, for heaven's sake.

Mingle.

I don't think you should speak.

I don't think you should say anything.

But you said make conversation.

I was just making it.

I know. Make conversation,

but don't talk. Don't bring up anything.

Maybe about the weather or something,

but don't... You know.

Now, I'm gonna get in the flow of things

here and then I'm gonna glide upstairs.

- Should I glide with you?

- No, no. I'll contact you.

- Can I get you some champagne?

- Sure.

Ray?

I was ju...

I was gonna make a phone call.

- Have you seen Edgar?

- Edgar?

- Where that man gets off to!

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