Smartass Page #3

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help me, alright?

Oh, I did, she can walk now.

Come on, Venice, please?

Oh, f***.

Why the f*** is this

happening to me?

Oh.

Have fun, eh?

Be gentle.

Hey.

Where's the white girl?

I let her out.

Neesy, she's 15

f***in' years old.

What did you think you

were gonna do with her?

Send her home?

It's 11:
00 at night.

That kid needed a lesson.

Maybe but she

don't deserve to die.

That's not my problem.

You were at lunch.

Hey, girl.

What you doin' out

past your bedtime?

Me?

Yeah, you, baby.

I lost my puppy.

I'll be your puppy, baby.

You guys got a cigarette?

We got somethin' better.

Girl, we got the gold.

Crack is so pretty,

don't ya think?

You know you want it, baby.

No, I want a cigarette.

What if I let you

have this one free?

Then I'd say nothing

in life is free.

But I don't know, maybe

we can make a deal.

How much change you both

got in your pockets?

Come on, playas, play with me.

Okay, if I smoke your freebie,

you give me all your change.

- What do we get?

- Think about it.

Why's the first one always free?

It's the hook.

Yep, so,

if I smoke one hit and I

don't want another one,

you pay me.

Otherwise, I'm hooked.

Alright, sugarplum.

So, where you from, Ma?

I'm a child star.

My parents went crazy

and blew all my money.

No way.

Who are you?

Bro, I'm just playing.

I'm not a child star.

Ready?

Like it, baby?

What the f*** did

we tell you about

peddling your sh*t on

this side of town, huh?

Hey yo, let go of

my brother, beaner!

F*** you call me?

Sh*t, he just

called you a beaner!

- Shut up, crack whore.

- Excuse me, sir.

I am not a crack whore.

Yeah, I just smoked

a hit of crack,

but that doesn't...

B*tch, shut the f*** up.

Okay.

That's f***ing smart.

Yeah, I'm leaving.

Oh, f***, oh, sh*t.

What we got going on

over here, huh?

Oh, sh*t!

Look like it's our side

of the town now, son.

I wanna shoot your

motherfuckin' ass right now,

you f***in' roach.

I been itchin' to shoot me a

motherfuckin' cholo tonight.

Yeah, look, bap, bap, bap!

What are you doing?

Get outta here.

But, Antoine, this my spot.

Okay, I'm stuttering

around here.

I'm not gettin' my point across?

Get the f*** outta here.

You think this

is a f***in' game?

Get the f*** outta here.

Back to this motherfuckin'

burrito eatin'

motherf***er right here.

Oh, so you nervous, huh?

Oh, my God.

What was that?

Takin' our territory

back from the Mexo.

Is that wise?

Hell yeah, it's our spot now.

Wouldn't it just be more

reasonable to, ya know,

pick a spot they don't want?

Oh, yeah he, oh, that's

the b*tch right there.

No, no, no, that's the

bigger b*tch right here.

Put it right here.

Right here.

My boy over there, Antoine,

it was one of his

boys that got shot.

Now we fixin' to kill

all them roaches.

If I had my gun,

they would be shot.

Two Mexicans shot right now,

cholo on the ground

bleedin' right now.

The biggest problem is,

nigga who shot 'em all's

threatening the pen

and sh*t, cock out.

But it'll be over soon.

I heard that nigga just got

moved back to general pop.

Nah, I heard he's

buying himself protection.

I'm done.

Deal's a deal, man.

Nah, nah, no way.

Nobody likes a punk.

Jesus.

Fine.

Come on.

Thank you.

Hey, white girl.

You pretty cool.

How 'bout I let you

come home and do me?

Enticing,

but I've got plans, sorry.

Pshhh.

Yeah, Donny, come on!

Oh, you're such a good boy,

Donny. You're such a good boy.

Oh, my God.

No more.

Holy f***, holy sh*t.

No, no, no.

You gotta stop right now.

Good boy.

Alright, see ya.

So, guy is sick

and Rod wants us to come out

there tomorrow afternoon.

Sh*t, alright.

I'm gonna go see if

Freddie's here yet.

She's not gonna be.

They mentioned

stopping in Venice.

You should just

f***in' chill, man.

That's alright, I'm

a little amped anyways.

That sh*t gets into your system

no matter how careful you are.

Ooh, can I get some of

that sh*t in my system?

- Yes, you may, baby.

- Ooh.

Hey, hey.

Don't eat it all, okay?

Okay, alright.

Pack of cigarettes, please.

$1.65.

How's 1.55 sound?

Like you're short 10 cents.

But it's only 10 cents.

- Don't care.

- Come on, man.

Want me to recite

state capitals?

I want you to

have 10 more cents.

Okay look, kind

gas attendant man.

I have had a very long day.

I was locked up for four hours

in a racial wrestling ring

and I was just

forced to smoke crack

in order to obtain

this perfect amount of

change that you are calling

10 cents short.

'Cause it is.

Oh, my God.

This is what

we're gonna do, okay?

I'm go...

Thanks, man.

- Have a great day.

- Mm-hmm.

Hey, you guys have a light?

No smoking.

Come on, please.

No, child, no smoking.

You ain't gon' blow us up

out here tonight, uh-uh.

Fine.

Do you know how long it'd take

to walk to San Diego from here?

Child, I'm from LA.

I ain't walked nowhere

since I was 10 years old.

Sh*t, I gotta get there.

Suggestions?

Girl, use them thumbs.

Or that pretty little mouth.

Suck a dick

all the way to Mexico.

Do you guys have pimps

or a pimp?

Why you ask?

Bored fascination.

I'll tell ya for two smokes.

- Really?

- Uh-huh.

Okay.

He dead.

Mm-hmm, I killed

that motherf***er.

You're lyin', really?

You's a dumbass white girl.

She just being mean.

It's true though.

I killed him. He was interfering

with my money makin'.

That seems kinda

counterintuitive for a pimp.

Yeah, he was hatin'

on our cholo niggas,

so he had to go.

Now let me give you

a tip, little girl.

Ain't nobody out here this late

except for murderers,

hustlers, hookers,

and you.

So watch your back.

That's a pretty weak tip.

Yeah, well, here's one.

Start learning how to suck dick.

You'll be fine.

Just stay away from them gangs.

'Cause spics be

killin' niggas.

Niggas be killin' spics.

And as long as you

ain't one of them,

you be alright.

What about you guys?

Ain't nobody kills

good p*ssy, honey.

Yeah, baby.

Nobody kills good p*ssy, baby.

Here, take it.

There, did my good deed

for the day.

Bye, ladies.

Motherf***er!

Motherf***er!

N*ggers!

F***ing c*nt.

Chuchu. F***in' kill her.

Motherf***er, you!

This is all her fault, Venice!

No, Paolo, it's Lobo's fault.

It's your brother's fault.

Yeah, exactly, why

isn't he dead yet?

How should I know?

You f***in' b*tch, I'm

gonna f***in' shoot you.

F***, sh*t.

Alright, I'm gonna take off.

If you wanna go, you

gotta take Chuchu with you.

No, no, no, no.

I really don't think I can.

You don't wanna take her,

no problem. I'll kill her.

Alright, alright,

I'll take her, alright?

You know, when I'm done

with all this sh*t,

I'm gonna get a job

at a f***in' carwash.

Nine to five, that's

what I'm gonna do.

No, you take Chuchu, you

get the rest of the money,

you don't get robbed,

you don't get kidnapped,

you don't get killed

and this'll all be over soon.

Alright, and I definitely

have to take her?

Yes!

Oh, f***, f***,

f***, f***, f***.

You gonna ask me

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